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All alone.

My OH has just left for Glastonbury and won't be back for a week. I suddenly feel really lonely.:cry: He hasn't been away for more than 1 night since Glastonbury 2 years ago and I didn't have Abby then. I know some of you have OHs that are away on business etc all the time. I don't know how you cope. What am I meant to do at the weekend?

H xx

Replies

  • You def need a plan. You'll start to feel better as you don't have long empty weekend to try to fill, as and when.

    Hopef it will be warm then you can set up paddling pool & head outside (is this an option?) Juliet is like Abby & never still but I found yday, she was so much more easily entertained. I took pillow & blanket out and time wentt much quicker than an ordinary SAHM day.

    I usually schedule a full grocery shop when OH away (boring but put of house activity to mix it up a bit for J) I also make a point of going briefly to shops to buy something for me that I've been putting off and not prev made time for (new maternity bras, baby change bag, vests for summer) double whmy of time-filling plus happy rush from retail therapy.

    Text people who might want to do a walk / lunch on weekend...but text early. If you wait til Friday, it'll be too late to organise anything with friends.

    Your family are nearby aren't they? Can you invite yourself over for a BBQ (say you'll bring the meat or salads or something so it's a fun group effort. We always have BYO BBQs in nz, lots of fun) that will give you bit of time out as they fawn over Abby. Even if it's just popping over for cuppa, I do this when on my own and MIL gets me cuppa n I stick my feet up & usually drag it out for a while!

    Evenings are actually great: get Abby in bed then it's all about you: have what YOU want for tea, watch YOUR favourite tele, paint your nails & toenails for a treat (!!), sleep ANYWHERE in the bed....make most of the evenings, it's rare to get 'alone' time and I dread it initially but really enjoy evenings alone, for the most part.

    Anyway...you can tell I'm very isolated & live away from family as I really find time with OH away - tough. I feel too depressed if I font even have a plan for my SAHM days....my social circle here v limited (noone like me or with anything enough in common cept my one friend with baby!!) and it's bloody hard, I know. Buy a book or some trashy mags, try out an easy yummy recipe on yourself (I love making cheesy vegetable risotto & comfort-eating a massive bowl when on my own!!) get a few bags of sweets in and enjoy (because the days on your own with LO & preg can be tough & you need to wind down and take time out just for you at night) image
  • Hope it's going well and you're keeping nice and busy! My DH goes away for work sometimes so I know what it's like. I find as long as I keep busy it goes quickly and you don't have time to feel lonely. If he's away for around a week then we usually stay over with family for a couple of nights which is fab as they can help out. It's the evenings I find difficult as DH usually does the bedtime shift but there again I'm with him all day long so love that break. But once Isaac is in bed I really enjoy having a few evenings to myself - bliss!

    Now that it's sunny there's more you can do out and about at the weekend which helps. Anyways hope you're enjoying a bit of time to yourself and have a fun weekend with Abby. Bet she loves having mummy all to herself! x

  • Wow, I think Lizzie covered just about everything LOL!! ;\)

    Although my hubby is at home most weekends he is always busy renovating our house still, just the front garden and side path now to do more or less. So I never really see that much of him and have to make most plans for Skye and I rather than as a family :\(

    That said we normally plan to see family, visit cousins, meet up in town for coffee or go to the park. I can always find something to pop to the shop for, supermarket by car, or locally by buggy/walking. It'll be a great weekend for spending in the garden - Skye is happy in the paddling pool and slide for an hour or so, and I can sit and watch and splash my feet!

    And I have to say that I actually quite like a few evenings to myself...saves watching this bl**dy footie all the time anyway! I surf the net, do my nails, do study for my NVQ (sigh), and make sure I get in or record some girlie movies to watch, bliss!

    Hope you're not finding it too lonely and are enjoying some "me and bump time"! x
  • Thanks Lizzie - you're obviously used to this. :cry: I'm a bit pathetic really. I hate being alone for any amount of time, it's the main reason I returned to work when Abby was only 6 months. I felt quite alone and depressed at home.

    I was especially worried as my in-laws were also away so couldn't see them. Anyway I used my time very efficiently as we are moving in the next few weeks so spent a huge amount of time packing without OH looking over my shoulder all the time. I have had to double-check everything though as Abby likes adding things to boxes (ie keys, letters, tv remote control etc :roll: ). I've definitely lost a dirty sock into one of them - lucky removal men!
    It has madee me shattered though. Without OH to keep an eye on me I have overdone it and am going to bed each evening aching all over from SPD and swollen feet. At least the king bed is empty so I can spread all over it. :\)

    Thanks for your support,
    H xx
  • I have the ideas but I'm equally pathetic....I really can't enjoy full days at home just me & J either. Makes me feel mega depressed too (and I'm not a natural depressive; this is something I cannot change & force enjoyment!)

    I think that I'll probably go back to work a lot earlier this time, unless by some miracle, I really enjoy being a SAHM. this time will be financially much tougher as no maternity pay so
  • Cntd...won't have the guilt this time like I did last time that I have a 'choice' as we could afford me being at home. Think I'll do 4 days this time too as 3 day weeks are impossible...I love my juju insanely but I feel so alone when home on my own with her. Wish I could understand why??! Glad I'm not only one tho image glad your weekend been ok. I stand in absolute awe of single parents, I really do.
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