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Support from family?

Hi everyone,

Hope you are all well image

I was just wondering how much support you get from your families?

My parents and parents in law are really good with Emily and will always make sure i get a bit of a break when they are around - helping with burping etc. They always spoil her etc. But i feel like they are starting to pile on the pressure about weaning. Emily is only nearly 15 weeks so i am really not thinking about weaning yet and want to wait for as long as possible - at least 5/6 months. However if Emily needs it before then i will consider it. I just feel like my mum and my mil are both pressurising me into weaning early just because they did. They don't seem to respect my feelings and what i think. I keep telling them my feelings but they just look at me and say 'yeah, yeah, just you wait, you won't be able to keep up with her, she's getting really long and will need solids soon!'. I just feel quite alone in this, hubby isnt around when the comments have been made so there isnt much he can do.

How do you all deal with pressures from family?

Sorry for the rant, just needed to get it out.

L and Emily (14+5) xxx


  • I think (talking only from my experience) thats its all rubbish. You will be able to keep up. I waited with both my boys till 6 months. DS1 was ff and he was taking 10-11 oz at bedtime and a 10pm feed, but he was fine. DS2 is a big boy (you will see from fb) and he was ebf till he was 6 months. He even slept from 7-7 without a feed from 4 months.

    A good comeback is that at least nw when you leave the house you can walk out with your boobs. Why would you want to wean early and have to worry about food, bibs, spoons etc. I would be in no rush!!

    My mum is great and never gives me any advice/pressure etc. My MIL is a different story. I was getting asked how long i was going to do this bf for. Now i'm getting, do you never xpress so you can go out and leave him?? Even if i did, i would NOT leave him with her!!

    Just take it with a pinch of salt

    Gemm x
  • Don't take it to heart. Just smile and nod and give a few non-commital 'mmmmm's! They will think you've taken their advice on board and you wont feel like you're being ignored!

    The other alternative is to tell them that Emily's Dr/HV has told you not to wean early due to her exema. They may be more reluctant to dismiss a Drs opinion!

    Finally, though, they probably *are* filled with the best intentions, even if it does not come across that way. As far as they are concerned it did you, them, your hubby etc no harm at all to be weaned at 4 months, so they don't see the issue. My mum said she was thrilled when I reached 12 weeks old as she could start crushing rusks and putting them in my bedtime bottle (works a treat at encouraging a full night's sleep apparently!) It really did me no harm at all (I have no allergies, I'm not obese etc!) so I can sort of understand why she suggests I do the same when I'm complaining about lack of sleep! I just smile and mmm and ignore! :\)

  • Don't take it to heart. Just smile and nod and give a few non-commital 'mmmmm's! They will think you've taken their advice on board and you wont feel like you're being ignored!

    I completely agree with Cath on this one! My mum is forever going on at me about one thing or another and not just to do with DD either!! I just smile, nod, mutter some "Aha's" and then ignore it. For me it's much easier than argueing or even trying to put my opinion across! Unfortunately my mum "knows" everything or has been there and done it!!!

    However, my MIL has been quite good but keeps going on at us as we have only left DD once since she born!!!

    Hey ho, I'm her mum and I know best!

    Good luck hun, just smile, nod politely and hang in there! I generally find a god deal of swearing when I get in my car or off the phone helps!!!!

  • whenever my mil suggests something, i tell her what i am doing and what the current recommendations are. she then comes back a week later, having done the research herslef and agrees! for example feeding on demand. she said i was not a cow, then a week later said that on demand is better for the baby. really?!?!?!
  • oh god yes sweety go with the 'mmmmmmmmmmmm's every time !!

    I love my mum so so much but she drives me frigging demented when it comes to DD. I can see her point as she raised me and my two sisters with no ill effects but obviously gudielines etc have changed and like the girls say, LO is my baby and I know her best.

    I tried arguing with her or telling her that HV/Dr had recommended a certain thing (the dangers of overheating, needing to put her to sleep on her back, aptamil as the formula closest to breast milk, feeding on demand in the early days, the importance of tummy time etc etc etc!!!!)but it goes in one ear and out the other..... :roll:

  • get this LB, you know how dylan has been teething, my mum suggested I put whiskey in his milk !!!

    seeing as i am ebf, I am trying to figure out how to do this.... do I get sh*t faced on the stuff and hope it passes to him thru my milk? or shall I pour him a shot glass full and give it him before a feed.

    I mean OMG !!! I don't even drink the stuff myself so why the EFF would I even contemplate giving it to my 15 week old baby... do I want to rot his liver before he's 1 ?????

    I'd rather he cry !!

  • Thanks everyone, I am trying to just let it all go in one ear and out other! My mil actually offered a bacon sandwich to Emily yesterday! And because she opened her mouth, apparently she is ready for solids! wtf! She is teething and put anything and everything she can in her mouth!!

    :lol: Mel, my mum keeps reminding me that my papa used to rub whiskey on my gums when i was teething and i loved it! hmmm... still needing convinced on that one! :lol: at getting sh*t-faced! hehe you should just give him it with a syringe like calpol, i'm sure he would take it then :P x

    Anyway, i posted in bf yesteday to say that Emily has put on nearly 2lbs in a month! She had only gained about 3lbs by 3 months so this is a huge weight gain! So my new response to mil and my mum is that as long as Emily is gaining weight sufficiently then she will be exc lusively bf - at least until 6 months!

  • Don't panic about weight gain hun, bf babies normally plateau with their weight gain at past 3 months. My HV had me all panicing the other week when Dylan had only put on 1 oz in 2 weeks. As long as she is having plenty of wet and dirty nappies she will be doing fine xx
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