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First day without Daddy

Due to my pre-labour phase lasting the best part of a week, the OH ha d to take his paternity leave then and last week. So now Florence is 9 days old he has had to go back to work today. She really has a hard time settling in her moses basket, and never seems to settle with me (must be because I smell if delicious milk!!) so now that the OH is at work I've been carrying her around all day. To top it off she wants to feed every 30-60 minutes but just for really short periods. It's already 1.30 pm and I've not had the chance ti brush my teeth let alone get changed or anything (and in writing this she's had a feed and being burped- it's never ending!) Plus this baby does not seem to ever sleep!

What I really want is a bit of reassurance that other mummies spent the best part of the day in their PJs and that it does get easier....!! Does anyone have any tips or advice for what they do when their OHs are at work?

Right, I'm going to try and put this baby in her moses basket, fingers crossed she sleeps!

Fay and a pickle of a baby Florence x

Replies

  • Hi Fay

    You sound just like me, I had 2 days in hospital then 8 days with a maternity nurse in the house and suddenly I was on my own with daddy at work and quite frankly broke down completely last week.

    We had no routine, I forgot to eat breakfast or lunch or clean my teeth! I was having huge problems breast feeding which has now been diagnosed as both thrush and impetigo on my nipples (OUCH!) , twice I called daddy in tears down the phone feeling like a complete failure.

    This weekend with daddy at home we started to forge a bit of a routine, stressing the importance of me eating and drinking enough and not worrying about keeping the house tidy etc. We've stopped BF for now because of the infections which has eased my depression 100% because I'm not stresssing about the next feed (now taken over by guilt of not BF!). I'm also making an effort to leave the house for a short walk at least once every day because I had complete cabin fever. Emilie screams blue murder when getting her ready to go outside but once in her maxi cosi she sleeps for the whole time so we can fit in a walk during a nap time. I have also found I have to get my own body clock back to getting out of bed before 8am (regarless of how many times I've been up in the night) because that extra hour or hour and a half before she wakes up allows me to get a shower and some breakfast in. We've also introduced a dummy to help her settle in her moses basket if needed, I didn't really want to but the benefits are far outweighing the negatives at the moment and we take it out once she's settled.

    Anyway you dont sound like you're going over the edge like me but keep with it and dont be afraid to ask for help from daddy, friends or family in getting things a bit more organised in your mind.

    Good luck! Liz and Emilie 14 days x
  • i spend most of my time in my pjs hun! in fact on my OHs last day of paternity last week we went shopping to buy me some more coz emmy had decided to be sick on all mine so they were in the wash and i couldnt face the idea of having to get myself ready as well as her. even now she has her morning bottle and i go back to sleep til lunch time with her coz i'm so useless without sleep! lol

    emmys 3 weeks on thurs and i'm finally starting to get back to a rutine and feel like a human being again so hopefully it'll be totally fine soon.

    hope it settles down soon for you too hun xxx
  • Hello - my oh went back to work when Cameron was 9 days old - it definitely took us a while to find our stride! in fact today it's the first day that i've managed to get showered and dressed before midday and that was only because i sacrificed 30 minutes sleep to get ready before his first morning feed. Don't put pressure on yourself to do anything is my advice!

    I'm finding the daytime much easier and more enjoyable now though, and it's only 9 days later! I try to go for a walk everyday to get some freshair and set myself little goals like doing the washing up (very sad i know!). Next week we're going to try and go to our first mother and baby groups which i'm terrified about but i'm sure it'll be fine!

    Let us know how you're getting on! xxx

  • I have been well and truly spoilt i think my hubby goes back to work on Wednesday when Alyssa is 24 days old!!
    I'm dreading it i only manage to dress and brush my teeth now becausehubby watches her whilst i do this, i'm usually such a neat freak in the house so dreading not having hubby around to watch her whilst i do a quick blitz round the house
    i'm totally thinking i wont be able to cope image

    xx
  • Hi ladies

    I would highly recommend getting a sling/baby carrier - ok so you can't do things like shower with baby in one (!!) but you can do jobs around the house and make yourself some lunch etc. And the bonus is that baby is close to you, which they love and usually falls asleep in there!

    Don't worry about being in your PJ's most of the day - nobody will ever know and they're more comfortable anyway! image

    Love NN and Olyvia xxx

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  • Hi,

    My hubby went back to work 4 days after Sebastian was born although he does work from home so it is slightly different but everything seemed to go wrong at work so even though he was just upstairs he was no help at all.

    Show me a new mum who hasn't spent a couple of days entirely in her pyjama's and I'll show you a fraud.

    It does get easier but you won't notice a defining moment you'll just look back in a few weeks time and wonder how you ever found it so difficult.

    I've got a new challenge this time in that although looking after a baby is a bit easier I'm now trying to fit it around a demanding toddler...ho hum.
  • Thanks all... that is just what I needed to hear.

    I read the replies this morning and was spurred on to get out and let the baby experience fresh air so managed a trip to the library (5 mins walk away!) by 2.30pm. Thankfully my little cherub (graduated from pickle) let me sleep quite well last night so had a much better day today with her. Plus, I remembered we'd been given a baby rocker chair so I put her in it and she slept for 2 hours quite contentedly.

    I don't think I can get up early just yet to breakfast and shower, my body needs every minute of sleep it can grab! But brilliant suggestion for when we have a bit more of a routine established.

    Right, I'm off to bed now as daddy is looking after the baby and giving her a bottle of formula to help her sleep a little longer before needing another feed from me.

    Fay and Florence (10 days old) x

  • hubby went back to work when jacob was 14 days old although he does work from home. even now i can be in my pjs all day, i have only just had chance to shower now jacob is in bed!

    have you got a rocker? jacob likes to sleep in that in the day, it maybe that she doesnt like lying flat, you could try raising her matteress up a little?

    becca and jacob
    3 weeks and 4 days old
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