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Weaning Meltdown : (

Hello Ladies.

Well we're into week four of weaning and STILL my baby is refusing to eat. In the beginning she took to it really well and ate whole bowls of porridge. We then had some success with porridge mixed with pear or sweet potato, sweet potato on its own or mixed with broccoli. However for the past few weeks she has refused most things I offer her. And there seems to be no consistency - she took a few nibbles of sweet potato and broccoli the other day but then rejected it outright yesterday.

I am so frustrated and upset and I feel like a crap mother because I can't get my baby to eat. I ended up scraping carrot off the walls earlier because I lost it and threw the bowl into the sink. (Baby not there obviously, I was just having a private moment of meltdown once mealtime was over).

I'm still breastfeeding her and she is a great weight - always been on the 75th - so there are no worries there. But I am painfully aware that I'm meant to be introducing proteins by now and we're nowhere near that. I feel like it's my fault because we don't really have a routine as such - she feeds on demand and she dictates the day really. I read another post on here about routines and it makes me feel so inadequate that other Mums on here can say their baby has a biscuit and juice at a specific time every day whereas I don't even know if and if so when she will nap or feed apart from very very roughly - my days are quite unpredictable and I feel like I am doing a rubbish job as a result.

Elysia is also not only NOT sleeping through the night, but she woke for feeds last night at 2am and 5am, despite me having woke her to feed her at 11pm, and this is not unypical. To be fair most nights she doesn't feed more than once during the night but she still wakes and I have to rock her to sleep.

Also she won't nap or sleep without the Boob - I tried to go to a hen night at the weekend but OH called me back after 50minutes as E woke up and wouldn't stop crying until I got back and fed her to sleep. My NCT group are quite unsympathetic and think I should be bottlefeeding her as well as breast so OH can feed her and to make her less reliant on me, but she rejected the bottle at 6 weeks and since we'vemade it to nearly 7 motnhs without bottles my plan has been to skip bottles altogether (she's learning to take water from a doidy and a sippy and uses both well already). My NCT group also say my baby should be able to sleep without me by this age - but I don't have the heart to do controlled crying - nor do I totally agree with it, and I can't see any other way through it.

Wow sorry for the rambly message. I suppose I'm just looking for some reassurance. Am I doing my baby a disservice by no trying to put her into a routine and by not making her go to sleep without me? And will weaning get better? She's generally a very happy and calm baby but mealtimes and bedtime are becoming a bit of an issue.

:\(

Replies

  • oh honey ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))

    i think as long as she is still enjoying her milk and putting on weight i wouldnt stress too much about how much she is having, it will take a while for her to get the hang of it, we have been weaning for nearly 4 months which is why we are in such a good routine, its not neccesary though it just works for us, if you are happy babyled then carry on, as for bottles as well if you are both happy dont change it,

    its just a matter of perserveance with weaning, hopefully it wont be too much longer before it clicks thats it to fill her up image

    you are not a crap mother, you just do things the way E and you want which is great, you dont NEED a routine, it just helps some people x

  • Oh Hun, take a deep breath in, breath out very slowly allowing your shoulders to come down from around your ears.

    So much of what you have said describes Monty to a tee! ????All bar the weaning. ????However, had I gone the more traditional route I suspect he'd react the same way. ????Monty has always rejected a bottle and dummy so I suspected he wouldn't be too thrilled with me spoon feeding him either. ????We are baby-lead on all other aspects so decided we would be for weaning too. ????It's going really well. ????It took me a while to adjust to it and I keep having to remind myself that "food is for fun until they're one" or I'd be stressing about how much he actually ingests.

    As for a routine - we don't have one either. ????Like you, I'm not bothered about introducing a bottle at this stage. ????He is also "boobed to sleep" (if this is not "right" then why on earth are there sleep inducing factors in breast milk?!?!). ????Some days he skips a meal because he is asleep/doesn't want it. ????Monty has NEVER slept through!! ????

    BUT I don't see any of these things as a problem - they just aren't an issue for us. ????So, weaning stress aside, if you are happy with things as they are, then ignore the advice from your NCT group. ????We all parent differently and if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

    With regards weaning, keep in mind the mantra "food is for fun until they're one". ????People worry about iron levels depleting but that is what they do - deplete over time -they don't vanish overnight. ????If you fancy trying BLW then the Gill Rapley book is great and I'm more than happy to answer any Q's. ????Have you tried introducing any finger foods at all? ????Keep trying with foods she rejects as well but don't push her, if she doesn't want it, leave it for now and try again another time.

    Sorry this is rushed - I'm on my phone and trying to chuck dinner together image
    Anna
  • I am sorry you are feeling so rubbish... but trust me you are not rubbish.To be honest your post is so similar to our problems with milk! I have frequently chucked a bottle across the floor!!! I have even sat on the floor and had a full on paddy!

    Babies are so frustrating, and especially when you have outside people tell you what to do. What I say...is when you live in my house and look after my baby for 24 hours a day then you can tell me what to do!!!!

    Ignore the NCT ladies and go with what you feel. Personally we have a strong routine and lots of structure, but it suits me and Emilia. I appreciate it doesnt suit others.

    I think Anna, has a good idea about introducing finger foods rather than puree's. That way she can be in control and it becomes more of a 'game'

    I hope the ladies on here can offer you lots of advice and support - you are not alone xxx
  • I am so sorry you are having a hard time at the moment. I totally agree with what the others have said, ignore those self-righteous NCT ladies, they sound like they are just trying to justify that what they do is right. If you don't want to do formula or bottles then why should you!

    When I was weaning dd1 i did the traditional spoon feeding route and I was a bit like how you sound, she would eat sometimes and then other times have nothing at all. I got soo stressed and i'm sure she was feeding off my stress and it just made it worse. That was why with Sasha I decided to follow the blw route and it is absolutely the best decision ever, meal times have always been enjoyable and not at all stressful. The Gill Rapley book is a really good read to explain the 'theory' behind it and it really is a very natural route to follow, especially bf babies as they are used to self-feeding already.

    As for the routine, each to their own really on that one, Elysia seems to be thriving so i wouldn't worry about trying to instill one now.

    Sasha used to sleep through the night, she probably did for 6-8 weeks and now she will occasionally, but most nights now she will wake for a feed at some point. We went from having in her a baby hammock to a bedside cot so I could just bring her over and feed her and 9 times out of 10 we would both just fall back to sleep while she was feeding. Maybe you might want to consider trying co-sleeping for a while so you can get a bit more sleep. I know babybarbarella co-sleeps as well and has mentioned that on at least one occassion Monty has just helped himself to booby without disturbing her.

    You are doing a really good job hon, I hope that you feel better soon.

    xx
  • Reeny, haven't really any more advice to offer than what the other lovely ladies have already said. Just wanted to send you a hug. I have a copy of the BLW book by Gina Rapley that I would be more than happy to mail to you if you want, it's only gathering dust here! My e-mail button is activated xx
  • Thanks lovely ladies, I wish you were all in my NCT group instead! Elysia is in her own room and that does work for us as I think we were all waking eachother up before so I don;t think co sleeping is for us. Also Elysia fell off my bed a few weeks ago when we were asleep together and she just rolled away from me so I think I'd be too scared of that happening again! It had never occurred to me before that I am "baby led psrenting" but I sduppose I am - it has helped to think about it like that and I spent yesterday evening reading various things on the net which has made me feel a bit more confident about what I'm doing. Thanks girls you rock. Thank you thank you thank you. \And honeypops thanks so much for the offer, \i will mail you.
    : )
    Rxxx

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