🚨 Advance warning 🚨 This forum will be closing on 1st May – please see our pinned thread for more information.
Weaning debates getting me down
Hey all,
I had to post as I have been feeling quite down recently by the debates over in baby about early weaning.
I feel that people are judging my parenting because of my decision to wean early as if I have put my baby at risk because I chose to wean early. I hope this post does not offend anyone but I would just like to say:
As most of you know I did wean early under the doctors advice. I did not want to initially but now I realise it was the right decision for my child. I did not do it because I wanted him to grow up quickly; I did not do it because I miss-read his signs, I did not do it because I wanted him to sleep through the night; I did it because my baby is not your average baby. He is an extremely large baby who is the average size of an 18 month old. He has had tests for thyroid disorders and hormonal disorders, all of which thankfully came back clear.
I researched early weaning, spoke to a nutritionist, several doctors and of course my HV. I love him more than anything in the world and I only make decisions in his best interests. The thought that people would suggest I weaned early because I want him to grow up quickly really upsets me. I would never do that to him. I am desperate for his growth to slow down so he can start to look his age, it upsets me to think that people look at him and see what they think is nearly a 2 year old baby who can not talk at all! But saying that I love everything about him, I am so proud of him and I would not change a thing!
Arthur is still not 6 months he is 5 months. He weighs 27lbs and is 31 inches long. The thought of keeping him on milk still because he is not yet 6 months is actually unthinkable to me.
Sorry pointless post...but I have been upset about it for a while and needed to vent! Feel better now.
I hope I have not offended anyone and really I do understand why some of you are opinionated about early weaning. I was! I just think that sometimes some mothers do not have the luxury of waiting until that 6 month mark...and that does not make us bad! xxxx
0
Replies
i hope your sons growth stablises over time. he must be a right handful to dress and change? dont worry about negative comments, everyone wont agree with you but thats just life! x
Unfortunately, there are always going to be people who have opinions on everything we do with our lo's (my MIL springs to mind!), probably because it's not the way that they would do/did things. It doesn't mean that your way is wrong though.
It's definitely a mummy's job, and instinctive, that we defend our lo's. You're doing what is right for you, and no-one can judge you on that. I think that we'll all have skins like rhino's by the time our lo's are grown
I dont know if this helps, but I also spoke to a lot of people before deciding to wean early. Emilia had the opposite problem, she just wouldnt drink milk!! It went on for weeks. I would be lucky to get 10oz down her in a day. Now we drink well over double that and three meals. She needed the different textures and tastes to keep her interested in feeding.
Anyway, I spoke to a doctor about weaning and she told me that the WHO raised the recommended weaning age from 4 months to 6 months to discourage parents from weaning thier children onto unsuitable things such as food with high fat, salt and sugar content, too early. Research had found that third world countries were replacing milk feeding altogether for solid food before 6 months as milk was very expensive. A lot of mothers in such countries at one time were actively encouraged to bottle feed because of the risk as infection through breat feeding. So the WHO used a blanket weaning age - whats good for us should be good enough for others in other countries. But in more developed countire we have better access to information about what is suitable from what age.
I personally can see the sense in that, and feel it is unfair of other mothers to judge because we didnt 'follow the rules'. At the end of the day you do whats best for Arthur, and having deems pics he is a stunner!!!
HTH
Joanna x
I hope my post in here wasn't one of the ones you are referring to, as you can see I have the opposite concerns in that I am feeling pressure to wean and feel that some people are judging me for choosing not to give my baby food! I certainly wasnt looking to criticise anyone who has opted for early weaning, more so looking for others in the same boat who have chosen to wait. This weaning talk seems to be a very sensitive topic, which I suspect because it is new to everyone and perhaps people feel anxious (I do) about not getting it quite right.
I think its just one of those things when every baby is different and as Jo says, mother knows best. I do think however that some people in society seem overly keen to get to the weaning stage and will interpret anything (I am not referring to you) as a sign that the child is ready as justification for the go ahead.... I agree with NattyNik in that these signs are often misinterpreted as being ready for solids.
As you have said Arthur is an individual and you have made the choice to wean early which is the right one for you and your baby. I wouldnt take any notice of what other people think of your choice.
xx
You have done what was best for Arthur, and on advice of the professionals. Each baby is different, and will be ready at different times. Just as each mummy will have an idea of when they feel comfortable weaning. In some cases parents have to do it earlier than they initially thought they would, because it's what is needed.
At the end of the day, they only people who really matter are your little family. If Arthur is happy, then anyone with negative comments can just get lost!
This forum is supposed to be for support and advice, any comments that are not constructive are not really helpful.
Hope you feel a bit better. xx
I feel so much better reading your replies and just getting it off my chest!
missusbee - I was not offended at all by your post. It is the posts in baby where I have replied and then got shot down for it that have upset me. They all say the same...that I did it for selfish reasons because I wanted him to sleep through or because I thought he wanted more food.
I think as mother we are constantly questioning what we have chosen to do for our LOs. The guilt that comes with being a mother is probably the hardest part of it.
Thanks for making me feel better! I am probably due a period so feeling a little down today!
Glass of wine in the garden I think. xxx
Don't feel guilty about what you choose to do, as we are all just acting in our babies best interest and would never do anything to harm them. Also ditto Jomoeuk, I've read this too!!
xxxxx
xxx
I am probably one of those people that you would call opinionated about early weaning HOWEVER, I am only so in the case of people who have no real reason other than boredom or impatience. And I certainly wouldn't suggest you are in either of those groups! I don't think you're a bad mum at all and you weaned Arthur before 6 months under doctors advice because he really did need it. However, it is true to say that there are (sadly) many people who don't do it for a genuine reason and are therefore risking their babies health.
You know your baby, your Dr and HV know your baby and you have to ignore everyone else. You did what was best for him and necessary and you need to trust and believe in that (although I know it's not always that easy when people appear to be critising you).
I hope what I wrote on missusbees post didn't offend you - it certainly wasn't aimed at you or anyone else in this forum.
Love NN xx
I am a 2nd time mum and i know what is best for MY children, i neither care or want to know anyone elses stance on the matter either look after ur child hun and ignore everyone else!
YOU KNOW BEST!!!!
xxxxxxxxxx
Artysmammy, I can't believe anyone could question your motives for weaning Arthur early! I would have thought it was pretty obvious that a baby like Arthur couldn't manage on milk alone so please don't feel like you're doing a bad job. That's the only drawback to these forums I think - so many of us post simply because we want some reassurance that we're not alone in our particular personal crisis but end up getting a diatribe from some anonymous perfect mum on exactly why we've failed to meet their exacting standards set by their equally perfect baby...
Just think - in the olden days there weren't any books telling us that weaning before 5 months was bad ... not that im knocking it - if we were in the olden days still neither me nor my baby would have made it past D Day x
(((big hugs girlies)))
Liz xxx
Yes I it was awful, I even flew 2000 miles to get it sorted!!
Joanna x
i weaned early and quiet frankly i require no beating about MY decision, i did what was best for my baby x
As for early weaning I really beat myself up about my decision to wean Senastian early as wanted to make sure I was doing it for the right reasons not just because his sister was weaned early (which was on Dr's advice) but the moment I gave him his first taste of food I knew it was the right thing to do.
You did what was best for your boy which makes you a brilliant mum not a bad one.
Thanks for your replies you have certainly helped to reassure me. I know it was the right decision but sometimes you question yourself so much and criticism really gets
you down. I also had my period which i'm guessing played a big part in how I felt, though it has been on my mind for some time.
I am going to stay clear of baby weaning debates...not even going to read them. It's a good job I've got my jan mums to help me.
Natty - I was not offended by your comments hunny,
xxx