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So stressed!

I said I wasn't going to tal about this anymore but can't get it out of my head so thought I'd get it off my chest here!

Basically I've never had a brilliant relationship with my dad, my mum died when I was 15 and he remarried very quickly at 16. My stepmother is evil, manipulative, spoilt and a witch! She has already caused a rift between my dad and my uncle and they no longer speak! She has caused problems for us in the past and even caused my dad and my nan not to speak for many months, a few years ago!

Anyway, it was my dad's birthday on Saturday and my brother and I threw him a family party. Aunties and uncles (the ones they still speak to!) cam efrom afar and we organised food, booze, birthday cake and games! Everyone had a good time and went home happy, or so we thought! The next day my dad had a go at me because the photos we'd printed out and stuck on the wall didn't include my stepmonster - she hates photos of herself and always deletes them or throws them away. I got upset, my dad apologised for upsetting me, we thought that was the end of it!

The next day I received a really shitty email from sad stepmonster saying I obviously had a problem with her, the party was substandard, she was made to feel unwelcome and bringing up stuff from our wedding three years ago! My husband replied on my behalf because I was in work, then my dad replied to my husband calling me selfish, spoilt, ungrateful, and many more insults. He then said he wanted nothing to do with me or my family - 2 year toddler and baby due in Jan!

My brother then got involved asking why he wasn't being given half the blame as he'd organised half the party, and trying to make them see sense, mentioning a family we know who have lost their son, but that did no good too and now they've disowned him too!

It's such a mess! I'm not too bothered as visits to them were always strained and like I said I can't really stand my stepmonster! but I can't believe he's now disowned my brother, they've always had a good relationship, and more importantly his grandkids!! I thought he might say give us some pace, but never that he never wants to see us again! am trying to make myself think that if that's the way they're being then my children are better off without, but its so hard and three days later I'm still bursting into tears about it!

And that's about it, not sure how anyone can offer advice on this, but got it off my chest anyhow!


  • wowser not a fun situation.......sorry no advice for you, families are full of their own unique issues... :cry:
  • Families hey I can't offer advise but I have been through rubbish stuff with my family and all I can say is family that act like that are just not worth the tears. It's taken me a few years to realise it but now I have I don't let it get to me. My dads girlfriend sounds very similar to your step monster and she is just childish doesn't act like a 50 year old more like a 5 year old. Hope you get things sorted one way or the other soon hun x
  • Aawww hun image that's really awful, stepmonster sounds incredibly jealous and controlling, I'd stay away from the situation, like you say you're better off without in that situation, and letting your babies get to know him and then him doing it again would break all of your hearts. Think your dad will really really regret doing this to all of you and hopefully will come around to sense soon

  • This has now moved on, and my brother and my dad are on their way to sorting things out. Have spent a few days with my in laws (who are completely on my side) and who have been wonderful, was my birthday yesterday but they managed to make me feel special and have adopted me as their daughter now! I've also spent some time with my mum's family and discussed it all with them and we decided I should have some time away from my parents and concentrate on me, my hubby, my son and my baby!

    All well and good until I received another e-mail from my dad saying I'm sticking my head in the sand and don't I want to sort things out? I haven't replied but will do this evening. I think he's just after a reaction to be honest and he's getting mad I'm not giving him one. I'm going to send a very straight forward e-mail telling him that i'm putting my health (I'm type 1 diabetic and have high blood pressure) and that of my baby's first and if he wants to have any kind of relationship with me, my son and my baby he's going to have to try a lot harder. But for now I would appreciate it if he would give me some time as I'm too hurt and upset to deal with this right now. Part of me wants to scream and rant and cry but I think i did enough of that last week, this is the more mature version of me, holding it togehter - I haven't even cried yet today....Progress!

    I'll let you know the fallout as it happens!

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