Personal Question (TMI) please help me!

SheffieldYrose20118 · Feb 7, 2012 3:13PM

Hiya ladies,

Just a really daft and personal question, since we found out that we were pregnant we havent BD... we have been too scared to in case anything went wrong (this is our first baby).

Anyhow we are now nearly 14 weeks pregnant and we still havent...

I want to but im just too scared to...

What are you ladies doing... I cant really ask anyone else about this.

Cheers Ladies for any help on this one!

xxx

Nic-Nac_x · Jan 22, 2012 12:39PM

Hi SheffieldYRose,

Gate crashing from dia, but I feel the same way! We've had sex three times since I found out and it's been partly through desire but mostly just through guilt for my poor hubby. Probably tmi, but I've been very conscious not to have an orgasm as I'm frightened it might contract my womb and shake my baby out! I'm hopeful that it'll go back to normal after my 12 week scan, but I don't know. Can't really offer any advice or reassurance but I do share your concerns.

Nic xx

jenjen25 · Jan 22, 2012 2:01PM

im the same im 14+1 and we still haven't done anything since we made this baby! poor hubs but im terrified as i have had 2 mmc's.

xx

SheffieldYrose20118 · Jan 22, 2012 2:17PM

Hiya, thanks for your responses you two, I agree with both your thoughts on this one.

I feela little guilty for my hubby, he is being lovely about it but its been 12 weeks (im nearly 14 weeks but obviously we ned then to make this baby - lol!)... since then not once!

We got a good report from out 12 week scan which is what I told my hubby would be the point when I would feel "safe" and we'd try... but now I just worry and its been nearly 2 weeks since our scan...

XXX

Bebedeux · Jan 22, 2012 3:11PM

You are fine to have sex at any stage of pregnancy unless advised not to due to bleeding or previous history of miscarriage.

It won't harm your baby in any way and the relaxing effect is good for you and the baby. I understand the feeling nervous thing though. We didn't do it until after 12 weeks as I was nervous after a previous mc at 6 weeks.

If you're in the mood go for it. If not try to discuss your concerns with your other half so they don't feel left out or neglected.

BennettB2B · Jan 22, 2012 4:16PM

Hi we felt exactly the same, hubby was more scared than I was! We have only bd twice since at 10 weeks! I had to practically beg him tho and reassure him it would be ok!

You also don't need to have full sex to please your man why not just stick with foreplay fun

Xx

d27b · Jan 22, 2012 5:07PM

To be honest, my libido has all but disappeared! I have found the growing pains rather painful this time round and I just feel very frumpy and uncomfortable. I am hoping these feelings will shift - so is hubby! thankfully, he is very patient and understanding, but I do feel guilty, neglecting him (we too haven't bd'd since conceiving).

Dx

trixie85 · Jan 23, 2012 5:55AM

I totally understand your worries too, I think it's really normal especially first time round! We didn't BD until after the 12 week scan and even since that it's only been about once a week which is definitely not normal for us (haha, sorry tmi). Like d27b my libido definitely dropped although I am starting to feel a bit more like myself the las couple of days. I did lots of research and like Bebedeux says you are actually fine to have sex at any stage in pregnancy unless ou are having any problems and the dr has advised you not to. Apparently when the woman orgasms the baby actually really enjoys it, they relax and go into a sense of 'bliss' for a few minutes too! Quite funny to think about really but good to know that it definitely doesn't bother them

Anyway, take your time getting back into it when you feel ready, there's no rush and I'm sure you will just start to feel like the time is right soon enough. Good luck and enjoy!.x.

734aed27b5a780c64a7effd25674554b · Jan 23, 2012 6:10AM

We had sex if that is what you are worried about the only thing that i can say is that if your midwife or doctor has said don't have sex for a medical reason then don't. But if you haven't been told by medical persons then it should be safe for you and the LO. take it from me i know. just try it once and see what happens try different positions and what feels comfy for you and your partner. ok hun.

-Spring- · Jan 23, 2012 10:29AM

We haven't really BDed very much since making this baby either - Mainly due to me going to bed so early though!

I told me hubby that I'm more than happy to, but he has to come to bed earlier as after 9pm my eyes get so heavy and I pass out! Unfortunately mornings are out of the question as we get up at different times and during the day we have our little man, so evenings are our only option. Hasn't helped that I suffer from recurrent thrush (sorry TMI) so not making me feel very sexy...

Anyhoo, hope it happens soon cause we both need it!

millysmum1 · Jan 23, 2012 11:15AM

After my bleed at 12+4, mw said dont do it for a week or so. As there was no reason for the bleed, it is still ok to do it. We left it for 2 weeks but gave in last night even though we were both nervous! It was fine and i know bab enjoys the happy hormones.

You will be fine but only do it when you're really ready so that it doesnt end up being disappointing!

xxx

TriTread · Jan 23, 2012 2:23PM

I haven't yet and I'm 13+2. Had a mc before so was a bit worried. Also feel rubbish. Will probably make an effort to do it over the next couple of months to keep the closeness but we also do lots of cuddling instead.

SheffieldYrose20118 · Jan 24, 2012 6:46AM

Hiya ladies, I am so thankful for all your responses on this matter. We are 14 weeks today and so now in our 15 weeks of pregnancy... I want to relax and try with hubby but the fear is there that it could cause some harm.

I know it says on so many official sites that it is okay to do so but I am still worried... I have discussed this withhubby and there is no pressure from him at all. I just feel a little guilty (daft I know) and miss the closeness...

Thanks for being so open about this, its really helped me feel better about it.

XXX

SheffieldYrose20118 · Feb 7, 2012 4:47AM

Hiya,

Well we tried... and failed!

I got too worried and had to stop... not good!

Since then I havent even attmepted to try!

Please say im not the only one???

xxx

lbarr10 · Feb 7, 2012 5:42AM

G/C from DIA. I am now 30 weeks and have only BD twice since we found out I was pregnant. Poor hubby. To be honest it is more him than me and now that I am getting bigger I think he is even more freaked out. We have been loving in other ways though as want to keep that side of our relationship going

As long as your hubby doesn't feel like he is being neglected then I think you will be ok.

Try not to get too worried about it though as the more you do the less you will want to BD, if that makes sense.

Pomki08 · Feb 7, 2012 8:35AM

Hi YRose,

We have only done it once and I am nearly 16 weeks. I was very aware the whole way through and didn't really relax and enjoy it.

I don't think it'll happen very often for us if at all during pg........

It is so hard to not worry even with what all the books say about it being OK. I just think if something happens after we have done the deed I would always blame that.

As others have said can you be loving in other ways and keep the closeness going?

Does hubby understand the fears? If so, I am sure he'll be more than happy to have some other attention rather than full sex if you know what I mean

Good luck - I do understand how you feel.

xxx

ceelou · Feb 7, 2012 3:13PM

G/C from DIA - same for us too! We were advised not to until our 12 week scan on medical grounds, I've now been referred to another clinic in 4 weeks... poor DH!

Personal Question (TMI) please help me!

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