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telling family - scared
Hi ladies, well, i hit 6 weeks on wed. My OH and i have told no one and have known for 3 weeks - dont know how we've managed it! My mum heard we were ttc through OH telling brother in law and she made it clear it would be bad news if there was a baby as far as she was concerned. I think this is harsh considering i've been to uni, have a career we both have good jobs, a house and are married. I am understandably really nervous - she adores children and am hoping the emotion of the moment that this baby is her flesh and blood will mellow her.
Also telling OH's family who'se mum will cry with tears of joy! But sister in law has been ttc for 18 months and regularly posts how upset she is about it on facebook so dont quite know how to announce it without feeling like a bitch
I understand how she must feel of course and i know we're lucky.
Am so, so scared! x
Also telling OH's family who'se mum will cry with tears of joy! But sister in law has been ttc for 18 months and regularly posts how upset she is about it on facebook so dont quite know how to announce it without feeling like a bitch
I understand how she must feel of course and i know we're lucky.Am so, so scared! x
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Replies
I'm sure you're mum will be fine.
In terms of your SIL I di have some experience in this as I was ttc for 16 months in total and had an ectopic and 3 month wait in this time. The month my baby was due my SIL announced her pregnancy and was very frightened as she knew it would uset me.
I'll be honest, it did uset me - a lot. Not becasue I didn't want her to be pregnant but because it was a reminder that I wasn't. My SIL was very very sensitve to me and understood that I didn't really feel able to see her for a few months. When I did see her she didn't moan about pregnancy ailments and always asked how I was.
My niece was born in November and I adore her. How my SIL was with me really made the difference.
So all I can say is you don't need to feel guilty for being pregnant but just be a little sensitive. My pet hate was pregnant ladies whinging all the time about their pregnancies. It made me want to shake them and make them apreciate just how lucky they were.
I hope this helps xxx
well, i couldnt have had a better response. Anything that had been said hypothetically in the past was instantly forgotten. They were so overwhelmed and emotional about such an amazing thing happening to our family (this is the first baby of a generation). I cried and told them i had been scared to tell them and they were actually really upset id felt that way. Then they both relived how they'd felt telling their parents when they had my sister and they understood a bit more
a huge weight has been lifted. Jonesymh, my partner said the same things to me and i just thought it was wishful thinking. Inside my head i just thought i knew my parents better. Now i feel really mean i didnt give them a bit more credit! You sound like you and your oh are in a stable place and have done things with your lives. I really think it will make you feel better to break the news.
Mrsmafiaprincess - thanks for your response. My SIL was lovely gave me a hug etc, but i know it must hurt. We are not very close anyway and i dont see her much so i dont think i will be a constant reminder that she isnt pregnant in that way. I would have loved to take her aside and say something, but the fact is we only ever really exchange pleasantries, i dont know her well and dont know what would help. OH is going to chat to his brother and if they havent already tried it am going to give her my cbfm. When is your baby due?
xxx
I'm sure your SIL will have her moments in private, I did as I didn't want to upset my SIL or overshadow her moment. pregnancy announcements are so hard when you're struggling to conceive but do get better once you've had a chance to digest it. The offer of the cbfm is a lovely one.
Our baby is due on the 11th August but I have an 8 week scan this week to be proerly dated.
So glad everyone was so hay for you xxx
Im really glad all went well. As you know we aren't telling anyone until we absolutly have to but my dad has been awful since Lily died and over christmas he has been awful. He hasnt spoken to me hardly and then rang me today not to say how are you or thanks for the gifts (which he hasnt said) or even did you have a good xmas. No he rang to say he wasnt impressed with what i bought his wife!!! It was a gift set for boots so not some cheap tat, and he bought my husband a bottle of wine, Paul has never drunk wine in his life but i never said a word. So i have now decided that im just not going to tell him. He wont be interested anyway like he wasnt with his first granchild Lily. I am his only child so my children are his only blood grandchildren but he is only interested in his wifes grandchildren, so im afraid he will now miss out.
I told my mum and she is over the moon but we are all playing it low key at the min which is a shame as we should be really happy but until this baby is born i dont think i will relax and enjoy.
Sorry for the rant!!!
Hope you had a great xmas
We don't have anyone to tell on my dh side as he has very little family and my fil doens't even know about Oskar who has just turned 1.
I am glad you got a good response when you told them. Really puts your mind at ease.