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anyone scared?

oscar2oscar2
in My baby was born in July 2011
I know it doesnt help to go on about it, but after being very matter of fact all pregnancy about birth i am suddenly very frightened of it. It doesnt seem fair that to get the most wonderful gift in the world we have to go through such awful pain!!



I woke up in the early hours with really bad pain convinced it was the build up. I know you dont go straight into labour but i did think the pain i was having was bad enough to be the start. I felt my heart race and felt really sick. I started thinking about epidurals (im hoping to birth at a birth centre, so this was not the plan) but just felt so scared! It only lasted ten minutes but really felt sick with it and thought about running a bath (even though i'd told myself to leave all options for pain relief, even while at home such as tens machine and hot bath, until i really couldnt stand it). So looks like my limit is one pain! :roll:



Anyway, it all went off and after 20 mins and not more pain i calmed down and went back to bed.



i so want to be brave and i know no one can do this for me. Told my mum about my fears today - bless her, she's always been no nonsense and just told me i can't back out now etc - i know she's trying to help but not helpful! I know i cant back out!



Its not for one minute that i dont want my baby, am so excited to hold him/her, look at his/her tiny fingers and toes, know he/her is mine and that i get that wonderful gift for ever. But its the bit before thats scary! x

Replies

  • tattbagtattbag
    g/c but please don't worry yourself too much. This is what our bodies were made to do, trust yourself and listen to what your body is telling you. I thought i would be rubbish in labour - but actually did my full labour at home with no pain relief. Remember they are called contractions - your tumy contracts and yes it hurts BUT it stops so there is no constant pain ... if you can concentrate on something else this seems to help - i made it my task to time all contractions so that i had to actually do something each time. Also don't sit yourself down through the pain get up - i found swinging from the bannister helped and sitting on the loo - but you will know what you want.



    Try to go with the flow, and trust yourself ... YOU CAN DO THIS! goodness if it was so bad no child would ever have siblings!



    Go girl and good luck
  • MrsSP73MrsSP73
    Hi Alfie,



    How are you? Hope all is going ok at home.



    Am scared too!! Well it seems to fluctuate actually... one minute excited, one minute frightened.



    Am booked in for an elective section two weeks today, I've had one before and so know that it will be ok, but am still scared at times - usually in the middle of the night.



    No advice on a natural birth but like tattbag says, it is what our bodies are meant to do!



    Am sure you will be fine.



    xxx
  • Louise_NLouise_N
    Don't worry. If it was so bad then people wouldn't have more than one. I have 2 now and both went fine for me and both very natural and quick with gas and air. I know everyones labour isn't the same and some are luckier than others but your body prepares itself well. I have had 2 prem babies and went into spontaneous labour with both of them. My first at 34+ 4 weeks and second at 34+6 weeks. She is 6 weeks on Monday and was only due on 1st August. The contractions can be painful and again everyones contractions feel different. Mine was painful when they came but they were manageable through breathing and then when needed with gas and air. When my waters broke I had to go to hospital as I was early and was prone to infection then so I didn't get much of a chance to manage my contractions at home. My contractions were mostly around my back.



    Good luck and I hope things get moving for you very soon. Keep your head up. You will surprise yourself when you are in full labour and you will just know what you have to do and take the advice from the midwives and take whatever pain relief you feel is necessary for you.
  • oscar2oscar2
    hi ladies



    tattbag thanks for your reply, i have actually worked supporting women in labour for the last 8 years so i suppose i was surprised by my own fears, feel like i should know to stay calm better than most! You're right though - it's never constant pain, you will always come down the other side from the pain no matter how bad the worse bit is. And it is pain nature makes you forget or who would in their right mind have another :lol:



    Mrs SP73 im doing ok thanks, how are you? I know a caesarean is every bit as scary for you, there is no pain free way to bring a baby into this world im afraid. Things at home are ok. After the panic i had i started to think about wanting someone else with my in labour as well as OH image Ive always said it should be our experience as mummy and daddy but like a lot of men he's terrified (can't blame him for this i know) but as you know he's not taken great care of me in pregnancy and feel so vulnerable want to be looked after in labour image still one of the girls where i work will be my midwife and will keep me strong. The only friend i can think of who would be appropriate to ask is my friend who'se an ITU nurse, she would be so supportive and wouldnt care if i screamed/made a mess etc :lol: just feel i wouldnt have to worry about her one bit. would not want oh not to be there, i just feel vulnerable...OH is working away sometimes, never more than 3 hours drive so unlikely he couldnt be back fairly quick but she has said she'd be honoured to be there if he couldnt be there for the first bit. Can't wait to read your BS!!



    Louise N thanks for taking the time to reply. I know you of all people are busy, the first DIA mummy! Someone once told me that as a woman you just become a heroine in labour, even when every part of you believes you aren't, you tap into your instinct to protect your baby. I hope so! Glad to hear your births weren't too bad x
  • AOEno4AOEno4
    Try not to worry as worrying too much can actually delay labour from starting as they say you need to be mentally prepared as well.

    I am the biggest wimp ever when it comes to pain and despite Emilie-May being my 3rd I was still terrified at the thought of labour. After my 2nd I decided that to try and ease my terror I would try the hypnobirhing book with cd. I read the whole book and found the section on breathing helpful but not as helpful as the cd. /The cd that came with it was wonderful. Ilistened to it everyday for the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy and my 4 year old loved going to sleep listening to the voice as it was so relaxing. I didnt play the cd during my labour but kept my eyes closed and replayed what she said in my mind. It helped me to be calmer this time and I coped on gas and air without as much fear.



    You will be fine and once you see your baby the pain disappears!



    Sorry about typing errors, typing with Emilie-May in my arms, holding tractors for my 18month old and helping 4 year old to do jigsaw - think i need to grow more arms!!!



    good luck
  • oscar2oscar2
    hi alf n osks mum



    thanks so much for your reply - don't expect one from you with a newborn and alfie and oskar too! I have thought about hypnobirthing but the courses are extremely expensive. Where did you get your book and cd from? Will have a look on google and see what i can find.



    I think it might not be such a good thing going off work at 35 weeks as now there's a ticking clock and im rested up its harder not to focus on it all the time. Its so strange, wanting it to happen and not wanting it to!



    Im aware 38 weeks with a first would make me extremely lucky, im more likely to hit due date, so need to keep busy this week and i dont think a bit of reading about hypnobirth would go astray image



    How are you getting on, is emilie a good baby? Hows the feeding going? xx
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