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'Naughty' baby - anyone else?

Phoebe is now 9 and a half weeks old and thankfully the colief has settled the colic. She has an immature digestive system and struggled to process lactose, which in turn made her gassy and constipated and caused the screaming. However, she is still so demanding! For example, she has never been a particularly good feeder and she rarely takes more than 3/4 ounces at a feed. But, this week she has decided that unless I am stood up, she isnt feeding at all. She screams her head off until I stand. I have taken her to the doctors because I just can not believe that there isnt something wrong - surely something must hurt and that is what she wants to be stood up? Except that after a thorough examination the doctor could not find a single thing wrong with her. That coupled with the fact that she takes her feed whilst I am sat down when she is still sleepy (at night) led the doctor to tell me that I just have a baby who is just stong willed (read: naughty!). Phoebe is all smiles and giggles most of the time which also leads me to think that the doctor is right - she isnt poorly or in pain, she is just a little bugger! She also always wants to be sat up or walked around - she is only happy when she is being constantly stimulated. As soon as she gets bored she screams so I pick her up (or put her down) and change the activity and she is all smiles again!

My mum finds it all highly entertaining because apparently I was exactly the same as a baby - in my moms words - a complete pain in the bum! Many of my relatives who knew me as a baby keep telling me that Phoebe's fussiness is 'justice' because I was so naughty as a baby. My mom and dad just cant believe how similar she is to me, but I'm so glad because at least I have my parents to help me when I get overwhelmed and panic that she is poorly! Is it just me, or does anyone else have a 'naughty' baby? xx

Replies

  • I don't generally think babies re "naughty" as they haven't learned how to be yet. There crying/screaming is them just trying to communicate with you.



    My Phoebe is generally a good baby but will scam her he'd off as though Iam killing her when she is over stimulated. I am fairly strong willed and won't let her dictate me. I have left her for up to 40 minutes to have her meltdown but as I know she doesn't need feeding/changing and is not in pain she has to learn to get herself to sleep.



    If I was you i wouldn't give in to your Phoebe as if she is genuinely hungry then she will feed whilst you are sitting. If you let her get used to doing what she wants you might have her being the same at 9 months!!!!



    Good luck
  • G/C from BIS but I wouldn't say Hannah is naughty so much as sociable. She likes to be involved when she's not sleeping, cuddled up, walked about, chatted to (even if it's 2am). She doesn't need me to stand to feed her but does want feeding often (a pain when we sitting down to dinner or getting in the car for a half hour drive). Hopefully it is just the 'early days' of adjusting to life in the outside world and will get better with time.
  • I've tried leaving her when she refuses her feed and not feeding her - it doesnt work, she just cries and screams. If I stand up, she feeds beautifully! I cant leave her to cry though. I completely understand why people do but I just cant. Im hoping as she gets older and understands more then I will be able to use ferberizing dicipline techniques. The midwife told me that she is bright and therefore frustrated at being a baby, I hope this is true!!!
  • Glitterbug... yep its me again! I reckon our 2 were twins separated at birth. I keep having the same conversations with my family too, my mum calls him a little ferret (in an endearing way and a mardy bum) as he constantly fusses! He HAS to be held, will not be put down even for a minute but I must admit sometimes he has to cry- Ive got a 3 year old to please too! I have never heard of a baby not being fed unless you are stood up though- my God you poor thing. I would try being firm on that one though- as Shelley says you don't need that when she's 9 months!



    The other problem we have is he is a complete Mummy's boy so even when my husband is about to help out my DS is so 'naughty' with him and just cries- Ive tried saying my hubby is being paranoid but then he passes him to me and he stops instantly. It's horrid for my hubby coz he is a hands on Dad (except in the middle of the night!! :roll: ) and our DD was equally as happy with him as me which he loved- I know it gets him down and it's so draining for me as I seem to be the only one who can sort him out.



    I do agree that babies aren't 'naughty' persay as its not calculated or thought out but my God ones like ours are so demanding. What I would say is I've had one of each now- a 'good' and a demanding (my friends who had a demanding baby first time round think its marvellous I'm copping it this time!) and they all come good in the end. They're all so different. It does seem to be the ones that can't get their eating right are the more intense little babies- I'm really holding out hope that my DS will improve with more solid food- maybe they just dont like milk?!!



    Sorry for long post... just wanted you to know I totally share your pain image
  • Its nice to know im not the only one! Although I am sorry that you are having a hard time too because its horrible. I dont think other people understand unless they have had a fussy baby themselves - I know my mother in law doesnt! I really dont think Phoebe likes milk at all, and again I keep blaming myself for not being able to breastfeed. I tried so hard but I just didnt produce enough milk and she ended up crying and screaming until I topped her up with formula. Now she seems to hate formula!! Im going to try baby rice at 16 weeks. My brother's girlfriend is a paediatric nurse and she told me that the whole 'wait to wean until 6 months' is not enforced in hospitals and there is another review coming out to say that waiting that long actually delays the development of speech. My mum's generation were told to wean from ten weeks and on the packet it says from 4 months so hopefully she should be okay on it. I had a bit of a cry last night because for the past three nights I havent had much sleep at all because she has woken up hungry due to not taking enough during the day - she has gone back to feeding every three hours through the night like when she was a newborn. She is only taking two or three ounces before refusing and going back to sleep! My hubby isnt helpful at all during the night times, he just sighs heavily when I get up with her as though its my fault she wont stay asleep!! He never seems to remember in the morning though!

    I agree that she hasn't learned to be naughty in the true sense of the word - like you say there is no intention behind it - but she is certainly demanding and knows what she wants! She is a lovely baby in many respects - she smiles and laughs and enjoys playtime. But, she gets bored easily so I am constantly entertaining her. She is fine as soon as I change her activity and back to smiling and laughing again - it is exhausting!! Its hard with the feeding because she cries and makes all of the 'I am hungry' noises but when I try and feed her she throws a tantrum. Yesterday I rocked her to sleep and then exchanged her dummy for the bottle to get her to feed and each time she only took two or three ounces. My mum calls her a 'naughty bum bum'. Im so lucky to have my mum because I was a complete pain in the butt as a baby so my mum can handle anything Phoebe throws at her! xx
  • Please please try not to cut yourself up over breast feeding... I managed a day with my first and 4 with this one- neither of them could latch and both lost weight fast... I pacify my guilt thinking that its better that they are healthy than us all being incredibly stressed, its better to be a happy family than miserable. Although for both you and I at the moment I'd say we are pretty stressed anyway!!



    My hubby sounds like yours at night and like you my nights are not improving. Last night he was fussing EVERY half hour all night from midnight- we are a bit snappy at each other to be honest but keep talking about it and trying to come up with solutions... none of them working long term yet although the swaddling I do think is still helping (thank you). We have put him in his own room which has helped my hubby sleep more if nothing else?!!



    We will definitely be starting rice at 16 weeks- did the same with my DD and she did great on it- I too believe strongly that 6 months is far too late. I CANNOT WAIT. You wait though, we ll get there and it ll make no difference and then I really will be tearing my hair out! He was 12 weeks on weds so not long now... countdown time!



    My MIL also sounds similar to yours- she has a knack of getting under my skin- often just by breathing- LOL- but I've learnt through my DD which I think I said on your struggling post that your daughter will always want you over anyone else so just nod and smile and inwardly know you are Phoebe's no.1. Like you my Mums incredible- thank goodness we have them to keep us sane hey??!!



    If you ever want to message me over anything please know you can- is that an option on this site? Sounds like we can try to pick each other up!!



    Take care hun and keep smiling XX
  • Hi GB, just seen your post. Sorry to hear of the troubles with your little one at the mo. I can't say Jazmine is a naughty baby really, however, like you say about Phoebe, she sometimes seems to need various types of entertainment. If she ever kicks off I sometimes sing, quite loudly, and she stops and really looks at mo, lol, probably wondering who let the cat in! Ha ha.



    I too am def NOT waiting till 6 months to wean. I'm really looking forward to doing that! Baby rice here we come. image



    Speak soon and chin up sweetie.



    Zxx
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