any other second time mums

Replies

• Sscn

  Jan 6, 2012 8:00PM

  I'm having similar concerns. My two are very close, and sometimes I wonder if I've done the right thing to bring another child into that. I worry it will spoil the bond they have.
  
  
  
  I also remember feeling like you do with my second. It's hard! I took to writing a diary, which I don't do as a rule, as I needed to express it somewhere. I can remember feeling guilty for both children, DD for no longer being the only child, and the new baby for the fact they would never be the only child, they would never get that attention.
  
  
  
  All goes away once baby is born xx

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• _mummy2grace_

  Jan 7, 2012 4:51AM

  I'm the same- feel awful to say it but keep saying to hubby- how can another child compete with my love for DD (which I know is silly). I have a half brother but didnt grow up with him so in some respects (certainly on my mums side) I am an only child so perhaps dont "get it". Hubby is the oldest of two and raves about the bond he and his bro had growing up- there's only 18 months between them, he sees it as giving her this amazing gift and he is right !! My main concerns are practical- at almost 18 months DD STILL isnt walking grrrrr. As she is an expert crawler climber and cruiser HVs arent concerned and say she'll do it in her own time - but WHEN??? lol I'm gonna have a huge bump and be carrying around a 30lb (DD is 99th centile for height and weight) toddler around lol

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• Chunkles

  Jan 7, 2012 10:14AM

  g/c from July just to say i'm feeling the same...now in floods of tears after reading that poem Crumpets! x

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• _mummy2grace_

  Jan 7, 2012 10:43AM

  I love that poem always, makes, me cry tho so haven't read it this time lol . Fines crossed for dd walking soon, she always wants to get out of the buggy and crawl grrr, we very often don't go anywhere she can get out and crawl so she gets grumpy xxx

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• littleminx

  Jan 7, 2012 4:19PM

  I am really worried about how my little girl (coming up to 20 months) is going to react to a new little person she is so clingy with me and doesnt even like it when Im cuddled up with daddy on the sofa she tries to get in the middle! so not sure how she will be...Im probably worrying un necessarily as it will only be a matter of time and Im sure she will love the new addition just would hate for her to feel pushed out.
  
  
  
  Ps that poem makes me cry every time!
  
  
  
  Mummy2grace - I feel your pain on the walking front it will happen! Mia my little girl only took her first few steps at 18months (she was a bum shuffler and expert climber so no need in her eyes) now at nearly 20 months she is walking still not perfect skills but much more confident.
  
  
  
  Luc x

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• MummyLintern2Be

  Jan 8, 2012 4:52AM

  Mummy2grace
  
  Don't worry she will do it all too soon, in the meantime console yourself that dragging a tantrummy walker round town is a lot worse than pushing one in a buggy. Ds hates the buggy but also hates holding hands or having reins on and will sit down in the middle of the pavement rather than co operate so we end up carrying a screaming lunging head butting beast through town...
  
  
  
  crumpets this made me giggle as this is exactly how DS is xx

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• Feebs76

  Jan 9, 2012 5:22PM

  I must admit I am worried how DD2 will cope with a younger sibling as she's very possessive of me at the moment. Even when dd1 is having a cuddle she'll try and push her away saying "mine!"
  
  
  
  I know they'll both get used to the new baby pretty soon though so as long as they get enough fuss and attention when baby first arrives it will hopefully be ok...

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• datafairy

  Jan 29, 2012 7:06PM

  Hi
  
  I had the same feelings - i have a little boy who's 3 and bringing a new baby into the family upset me a little bit as it wouldn't be just the 3 of us anymore and i was really concerned that my boy would feel pushed out and ignored.
  
  
  
  In actual fact the opposite has happened - we have kept him in his routine and he's doing fine. I'm much more relaxed with baby 2 that i can deal with what my 3 yr old wants and meet his needs quickly before I deal with baby.
  
  
  
  The only issue is when i'm breastfeeding my 3 year old always wants to snuggle up or sit on my lap and cuddle. I just make sure that after baby has his feed that i then spend time snuggled up with my 3 year old. It can be a bit of a struggle sometimes but not half as scary/worrying as I thought it would be.
  
  
  
  I get really excited when I think of all the fun we will have with the boys as they are growing up. LOVE being a mum of 2.

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• MissPud

  Jan 30, 2012 6:06AM

  I understand this completely and think its a normal feeling. I had this when I was expecting my second but as soon as I brought her home my son was immediately taken with her and wanted to do everything for her and look after her, everyone always asked him if they could cuddle his sister and he looked very happy when ppl used to comment on her although he tried never to show it. There was a 9 year gap between ds and dd2 and a 7 year gap between dd1 and dd2 and I was very worried about bringing another child into the family. ds was in tears when I told him and he did say some nasty things, butI didnt say anything to him although what he said was hurtful and not nice at all, as I knew he would need to get used to the idea. He always sat there and said how much he didnt want a baby brother or sister but when I spoke to his teacher I found out that he was just putting on a show as it was all he ever talked about at school. He used to stand by his teacher and say my mummy is x amount of weeks pregnant with my baby brother or sister and at this week the baby is doing xyz and when she was born he was a very helpful lil boy and dd2 took to him very well.. in fact it was his name that she said first!!
  
  
  
  I am worried about this baby and how it will affect the dynamics of the household, as although it is my 4th, obviously this is going to be my partners flesh and blood. We have spoke about it and he said although ti will have a different place in his heart and yes it will be loved in a different way, he still loves my kids loads and would never treat them any different. Of course I'm not silly and no to some extent he will but thats only natural. He did say he think he will find it hard trying to explain to it when its older why the other 3 are goin away and its not (when the 3 go to their dads) but I said thats when we can have special time with the baby and it will be treated slightly different as the others will be with their dad...
  
  
  
  I think you will find once the baby is born there will be no problems and u will wonder what you ever worried about, I know I will hehehe x

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• ruthiespoon

  Jan 30, 2012 3:25PM

  Hi! I've got my concerns too, especially as DS is a bit clingy at times, then other days he's Mr Independent! DS will be 20 months when DC2 arrives, so he'll still be very young, but I've no doubt it'll be a big shock to him. I just have to trust that he'll adapt as we'll all have to, and we'll do our best not to screw him up!!
  
  I do find myself watching this happy little boy pottering about and just pray that he'll be just as happy when this baby arrives.

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