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Returning to work has taken its toll.

truemantrueman
in My baby was born in June 08
I feel really ill today, my mood has dropped through the floor. And its all to do with work and letting it wind me up. Have being crying since i got home today and am still shaking, am that tense that all of my torso hurts. I feel really rough and it doesnt help when OH just says well you only have another 2 days until i have 3 days off.

It hasnt helpped that boss is now panicing as we have recieved our date for our big inspection. As was not feeling well I requested annual leave for in a couple of weeks time, but have been refused it as he wants everyone at work until the inspection.

Dont feel like i can last til the weekend, but hopefully that is just how i feel right now. I just wanna walk away from everything, but dont have that option anymore.

SOrry to moan on here, but am alone in the house with LO at the moment as OH is at work, and just wanted to talk even if it was with myself LOL. :\(

DOnt want to put too much on facebook either as I read something the other day about a girl getting the sack for saying how boring her job was.... and now i just sound paranoid. Am also regretting some things i put on face book about work last night... think it involved wanting to bulldoze it LOL.



Replies

  • tracey_1981tracey_1981
    aww hun big hugs, im getting prepared to find a job in the next few weeks, want to be back at work by april, but the stresses of juggling i know are hard work, especially if you arent happy in your job, i was bullied in mine when my eldest was small but i stayed for 2 years i felt shit at work, but i knew i needed to be there. Hopefully things will get better the first month is the hardest, you take care n enjoy the day off with lo xx
  • JunieMummyJunieMummy
    how you feeling today hun? xx
  • truemantrueman
    Hey all, thanks for the replies, they have been really appreciated.

    Im feeling a little better today after a cry at work. Aww 1 of my friends at work also made me a sausage bagette for brunch at work, to make me feel better LOL. Guess that and 2 cans of coke worked (I have an intollerance to caffiene, so now waiting for the unpleasant side effects ). Still not right but getting there.

    Dont get me wrong I like where I work and im not the staff member that gets bullied, but ive just let the stress and anxiety take over. Should know better but never seem to learn that lesson. Guess I just dont do too well if i feel i dont have some (high) level of control over my environment.

    Still dont agree with being left to go it alone on my first 2 weeks back, but what has happened has happend.

    Once again thanks for the replies, o and stinky bum.... hope you have more luck for a lottery win than i seem to have LOL.

    Beck
  • JunieMummyJunieMummy
    Glad the sausage baguette (sp?) and caffine fix helped. lol

    I think it was wrong for you to have been left alone too.

    I know where your going with having control. I hate it if decisions are made for me and....omg....when it comes to my boys if Im not in control of them ie - know where they are and what they are doing - i get relly snappy at everyone. (I hate J ging to nursery lol) and I even get a bit edgy when they are at their nans - which I know is completely stupid. oh dear I need to stop being mother with an S!.......Sorry hun drifting off a bit.

    Its a bit poo that your boss has refused your annual leave too. Hope you get to have it after the inspection and make sure you thoroughly enjoy it!. I admire you for being a working mum babe - I couldnt do it while they are this young so my hat is off to you!

    Take care babe xx xx

    [Modified by: brandollarz on March 07, 2009 09:34 AM]

  • truemantrueman
    Thanks again for your replies girls, theyve helpped to get my head clearer as well as the caffiene hit, LOL.

    Feeling alot better now. I have these phases every so often, it just annoys me when they creep up on me so to speak.

    I am on 3 days off now, so im trying to relax, especially as OH is off as well.

    This maybe mad, but im actually looking forward to our Supporting People Inspection. I know i can walk the bits i need to know (and most of the management) stuff easily.

    Elaine - Im always being told that its normal to worry about LOs when they are left with someone else. Personnally I have no concerns about LO when my mom has him (have more concerns about how much LO is winding them up and lack of discipline LOL). I have concerns when OH looks after him though. He has had to learn how to warm jars for LOs dinners, o and whenever they pick me up from work LO still hasnt been dressed LOL.

    Gravida - SOunds like you have made up your mind about not going back. There is no easy way to make the decision to say im not coming back to work. There is the guilt and feeling of failure to contend with, but after a while these fade. And you can always find another job if and when your ready. How long have you got left until you have to let work know? Dont know if your works policy is the same as mine but, if i had decided to not return to work towards the end of my leave (or left within 3 months of my return to work) i would have had to repay them all of the extra money they had paid out extra to SMP throughout my leave if that makes sence. So just be aware of this.

    Beck
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