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Fed up with being criticized - could they be right?
hey girls, first of all i want to say that i'm sorry for bleating on, i know some of you have got a lot more to worry about but could do with some advice...
I mentioned before that Braedon is crying when eating and suddenly getting loads of wind lately...spoke to HV yday and she was useless, just said "well, its a mystery - u know your baby better than i do so u should be able to figure it out" - wtf, what kind of advice is that? I think he tends to cry during sweet meals (fruit puree, fruit flavoured cereals etc) so suspect that he just doesnt like sweet foods. Just felt a bit crap that clearly she seemed to think that i shouldve sorted it and shouldnt need to ask her advice.
And have also mentioned before that some of my family keep commenting on how big n fat Braedon is (he's 27 weeks, 18lb 2oz n just grown into his 6-9 mth clothes) and my mum in particular says that i could be setting him up for obesity later in life and that i'm feeding him too much (he has 4 x 7oz bottles and 2 meals of puree a day). Its really getting me down that people keep criticizing me and my baby
And to top it all, my nan stayed with me last night n today and she was saying similar things, commenting on how heavy he is, how chubby etc and then when i sat him down to eat breakfast, she said "no wonder he's getting so fat, u cant expect him to eat breakfast - he only just had a bottle" (he had bottle 3 hrs before). she said a few times that im overfeeding him and even said that he has something wrong with his eyes (lazy eye i think) n that i should take him to doc before i damage his sight. His eyes r fine but now i'm wondering if i'm missing something...maybe i'm looking at him through rose-tinted specs and he is actually fat and squinty
thanks for reading girls xxx
I mentioned before that Braedon is crying when eating and suddenly getting loads of wind lately...spoke to HV yday and she was useless, just said "well, its a mystery - u know your baby better than i do so u should be able to figure it out" - wtf, what kind of advice is that? I think he tends to cry during sweet meals (fruit puree, fruit flavoured cereals etc) so suspect that he just doesnt like sweet foods. Just felt a bit crap that clearly she seemed to think that i shouldve sorted it and shouldnt need to ask her advice.
And have also mentioned before that some of my family keep commenting on how big n fat Braedon is (he's 27 weeks, 18lb 2oz n just grown into his 6-9 mth clothes) and my mum in particular says that i could be setting him up for obesity later in life and that i'm feeding him too much (he has 4 x 7oz bottles and 2 meals of puree a day). Its really getting me down that people keep criticizing me and my baby
And to top it all, my nan stayed with me last night n today and she was saying similar things, commenting on how heavy he is, how chubby etc and then when i sat him down to eat breakfast, she said "no wonder he's getting so fat, u cant expect him to eat breakfast - he only just had a bottle" (he had bottle 3 hrs before). she said a few times that im overfeeding him and even said that he has something wrong with his eyes (lazy eye i think) n that i should take him to doc before i damage his sight. His eyes r fine but now i'm wondering if i'm missing something...maybe i'm looking at him through rose-tinted specs and he is actually fat and squinty
thanks for reading girls xxx
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Replies
Gate crashing your forum to say I bet your baby is handsome and can see fine!
four bottles and two small purees does't sound a huge amount. My lo was not far off his weight at the same age and had huge chunky legs, she was taking four 5oz bottles with two purees. He'll prob lose the chubbiness when he starts moving around more. She's now a very slim toddler.
Re the wind you could try just keping foods really plain and see if its makes a difference.
Good luck x
Got that out the way so will tell you Tommy weighed 18 1/2 at 28 wks and was in his 6-9 month clothes. Sounds like you and me have both got pretty average babies hon - I personally dont think you are setting Braedon up for a life of obesity - methinks your mum has been watching too many documentaries on the tv or reading too many papers. All babies are different and as they get bigger and start moving around they tend to lose their "chubbiness." Dont be worrying yourself unnecessarily.
As for the lazy eye - it would be best to get your hv/doc to look at this. Keiran had this when he was a baby and it was looked into but I think some babies tend to grow out of it. Anyway no harm in getting it checked.
Sorry if you think I've been critical of your mum - I know my mum was very similar when I had Keiran, but it can worry you and doesnt help you relax and enjoy your lo!
i think i know where my mum gets her worrying - she was overweight as a child because my nan didnt supervise what she ate and she has struggled with her weight all her life and has wrecked her health through yoyo dieting..she was always really careful about we ate when we were kids too, she is quite obsessive about weight and i do understand where it comes from. i am really close to my mum and in some ways it husts more when she criticizes me. and as for my nan, she's a bit of a battleaxe anyhow lol.
the eating thing is so frustrating, Braedon eats half a meal fine then will open his mouth and when i put food in, he'll cry, eat the food then open his mouth for more and so it goes on...i tend to stop then in case he's full but not sure how to tell me. it seems to be when he eats his fruit stuff so maybe he wants to eat but doesnt want anymore of the sweet stuff...this doesnt happen with his savoury/veg purees. Anyone else had this happen with their lo's? do u guys think this could be the reson?
hadn't noticed anything about his eyes before, now ijust keep staring at him trying to see if he has got a lazy eye...maybe i'm missing it!
Not sure about the crying thing... i would have thought if he didn't like it he wouldd spit it out or refuse it... if he's opening his mouth for more it can't be that bad!
Sorry I can't help more xxx
"maybe i'm looking at him through rose-tinted specs and he is actually fat and squinty
Awe hun that is soooooooooooo harsh, and completely horrible that people have made you feel that way. Your baby is perfect and to be honest if he lost an onz all you would hear is omg you are starving the poor fellow... it's terrible. I think it sounds like you are doing a very good job. About the crying I know this is useless but mine go through phases of this too, and one thing my mother suggested was and please forgive me this could be complete nonesense, but she figured that babies get sensitive gums a different stages of teething and she figured we (her five children) would fuss at meals when our gums were all tingly and sensitive. It makes sense to me in that I can have a tooth and gum area be really sensitive one day and it goes off sometimes in as little as a day.
best wishes, you are doing a fantastic job
xx
Could he be thirsty when he is crying during his meals? Barney sometimes winges part way through being fed and it's normally because he wants some water, he has a slurp and then carries on quite happily with his dinner.
You're doing a great job, don't pay any attention to any one who says otherwise.
xx
With regards to the crying when feeding, are his teeth coming through? Ashton was like this last week and his first tooth has just come through and seems to be alot better now. Maybe try giving him something to chew on and see if that helps.
Lastly I would say that you have a perfect little boy and don't listen to other people! And you are a great mummy!!! xxxxxxxx
One thing Reiss has probably come first at is gaining weight I think!
He was 18lbs 8oz the last time I weighed him in November, so under 6months old and I know for a fact he's piled on more weight since he's been on ff - he's a right chubba. You know what though? None of my kids are big - Alex at 18yrs is a size 4, Jules is tall and lanky at 5yrs and Reiss will lose it when he starts the normal boy lunacy of tearing around etc, as will Braedon.
He's not even eating loads.
Weirdly, Reiss has started doing this aswell - although he's not windy, but he has started to scream when we start feeding him. It's really really odd, as he's always loved his food. I meant to reply to you when I read this in the daily catch up, so sorry I never got round to it.
The only thing that sometimes workks is actually taking him out of his high chair and feeding him on my lap - a pain in the butt, but he does sometimes eat more. If all else fails, I give him some milk instead as I also believe like Hedgie said, it can be their sensitive gums. The other factor that some of the girls havce mentioned about them being just too tired comes into it aswell. I think Reiss has got a bit lazy at eating now he realises he can have milk in abundance (poor little thing was getting so little milk being bf he doesn't know what's hit him now!)
As for your HV, par for the course with most of them - useless!
Ignore your rellies hon, they always think they're helping when actually they're just winding you up and making you feel crap!
Big hugsxx
I have my family and friends that I have made at baby groups tel my off for saying that Zacky is a chunky bum, But I only say this to make himlaugh as he finds it funny.
Like your LO Zacky has 2 meals a day and sometimes a pudding, along with 3-4 7oz bottles of hungry baby milk. Everyone thinks I have a well proportioned happy baby. Im so angry about the way your family speak of your LO and his weight - it has noting to do with them!! ANd if your LO is hungry you should feed him and ignore them.
Zacky's had a bit of a grumbly tummy the last couple of days. I think it has been due to introducing well diluted juice to his diet though. Yet again got it into my head that he should be drinking some water with his meals now but he was having none of it, hence the juice. Think I'm gonna stop though and just stick to his milk.
He has a high chair that is rarely used as at the mo he is happier being fed sitting on my knee or sat in the corner of the sofa. Problem with the highchair is he is a very windy baby and without being burped after a meal he is either sick or has stomach ache later in the day. This is when he screams and doubles up.
Sorry cant really help with the crying while eating as the only time Zacky does this is when he has finished what I have made and doesnt like to see his empty dish as he believes it should come with free refils. LOL.
I find I get better info, suggestions and support from the ladies on here than from my HV even if she is one of thase that doesnt always follow guidelines and will say what worked for her with her children.
Sorry these people are making you feel bad. With the feeding and crying, I heard that babies can get upset as they are realising food doesnt come in a continuous flow like milk does and it can take some getting used to. Milk is so much easier for them, so maybe he's protesting that he has to put in effort? Lol. Or like you say, maybe he's not keen on the sweet foods.
Hope you're ok hun, it's difficult to stand up for yourself when people say negative things but in a way which makes it sound like they're being polite (if that makes sense!) so you can't have a go. Maybe we should all practice the skill for our responses. Eg in my situation
MIL (smiling sweetly) says "Oh haven't you got fat knees" to Riley, then I could smile sweetly and say "You're going to be strapping and well built like your Grandma"
Lol. Maybe not, would be amusing though (hubby did say pot kettle black, but out of earshot)
xxx
Do you know what i say now f**k off, sick of hearing it, she is a small baby and yeah she may well grow but just leave her be ! argh x
you are doing a fab job hunny xx, how are you x
Braedon is still crying when eating fruity foods, put him on plain porridge for brekkie and had no probs, and then he's been scoffing his meat & veggie meals fine...as soon as fruit goes in his mouth he screams! A friend of mine has a daughter who used to do the same with fruit and it turned out she has an allergy to it and it makes her mouth sting...guess time will tell on that. could also be his gums, maybe the acid in fruit is irritating them? is bit worrying but feel bit happier now i have found a breakfast that he will eat so has 2 good meals a day.
I know i need to ignore the comments and usually i do, was feeling really fed up after listening to it off my nan all day on weds, esp the thing about his eyes as i totally cant see anything wrong with them. thank you all for your messages gorgeous girlies, at least i know i'm not the only one who apparently is doing a rubbish job!!! xxxxx
ooh now I think of it, when I eat certain fruits (including tomatoes which I hate - I don't know why I put them in my mouth doh!) my mouth stings aswell, maybe he's a sensitive little bee. As long as he's getting veggie, he'll be fine. Just a thought, maybe try stirring a little fruit into his porridge or yoghurt and see if you have the same result?xx
the whinging sounds to me like his peggys are coming through, thats what cam was like. it gets to a point when theyre feeding when it just hurts too much.
it sounds like your doing fab, just tell them "the hv says his weight gain is perfect and he is coming along wonderfully" (even if she doesnt say in so many words) that will shut them up!
xp.s cam has his bottles directly before his feeds, sometimes he will drink 7oz then eat a full stage 2 jar, then a full pud! babies will tell you when theyre full...usually by clamping there mouths shut or knocking the food right outa your hand!! !