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Surrogate
Hay Ladies,
Iv posted this on the baby forum as well, but im after as many opinions as possible if u dnt mind. My brother in law and his partner lost a baby boy at 20wks in january 2005. Since then they have been on and off trying for another baby and she finally fell pregnant in september and is about 8wks. However this weekend they ended up at hospital coz she was bleeding and having cramps, the hosiptal said all they can say and told them it wud be 50/50 and they've got to go for a scan tomorow, but its not looking gud. They're expecting the worse and i cnt imagine how they must be feeling. This might be really obnoxious and presumptuious of me but (Mel) is in her late 30's, is quite over-weight and seems to have real problems getting pregnant and then been able to carry a baby. I have discussed with my partner that if it did turn out she is unable to carry children for wateva reason i wud really love to be a surrogate for them.
My OH has real mixed feelings about this, the main one been he doesnt want me carrying his brothers baby, which i suppose is understandable, but it wud be nothing like that i wud just be helping to give them wat they so desperately want. Do u think my OH is been selfish or am i just been stupid for wanting to do this sort of thing so "close to home" where there cud be complications and conflicts further dwn the line. Hopefully the scan tomorrow will show a little miricle in there, but what do u think? Sorry for the long post. xxx
Iv posted this on the baby forum as well, but im after as many opinions as possible if u dnt mind. My brother in law and his partner lost a baby boy at 20wks in january 2005. Since then they have been on and off trying for another baby and she finally fell pregnant in september and is about 8wks. However this weekend they ended up at hospital coz she was bleeding and having cramps, the hosiptal said all they can say and told them it wud be 50/50 and they've got to go for a scan tomorow, but its not looking gud. They're expecting the worse and i cnt imagine how they must be feeling. This might be really obnoxious and presumptuious of me but (Mel) is in her late 30's, is quite over-weight and seems to have real problems getting pregnant and then been able to carry a baby. I have discussed with my partner that if it did turn out she is unable to carry children for wateva reason i wud really love to be a surrogate for them.
My OH has real mixed feelings about this, the main one been he doesnt want me carrying his brothers baby, which i suppose is understandable, but it wud be nothing like that i wud just be helping to give them wat they so desperately want. Do u think my OH is been selfish or am i just been stupid for wanting to do this sort of thing so "close to home" where there cud be complications and conflicts further dwn the line. Hopefully the scan tomorrow will show a little miricle in there, but what do u think? Sorry for the long post. xxx
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Replies
I am sure if you did go ahead and look into it you will all having to go for counciling to ensure that you all understand the risks involved and could deal with it practically and emotionally. Remember its not just a pregnancy you have to deal with but a whole lifetime!
Really hope that everything works out for Mel. Keep us posted.
xxxx
I know this is a subject that people tend to have strong opinions on but whether they wud want to use my eggs, or just as an incubator i wud really love to help them have a child in the future if that was the route they mite need/want to go down. xxx
I think there is no more a precious gift than a child.
This is something that takes a great deal of understanding, commitment and shoud be properly talked through between the four people (in this case) involved.
I know it's a very sensitive issue and I wish you all the best with it...xxx
i said 2 my mum a few months ago that once ive had all my children i might one day be an oven for some couples bun as long as it wasnt my bun, as i love being pg but i think you need 2 have therapy and for everyone else involved i think it would take a while to finally all agree to make the decision and to then get pg and carry it for 9 mths wud take a very long time, and things might change, relationships, ur health, money the list goes on but if its something that you really wanna do and after a LOT of thought then go 4 it, it would be an amazing thing to do x
Its a diff subject, but if you OH can say something in passing as you say, then maybe its an option they can consider for the future & at least they will know your there for them.
All the best with this, i hope it can work out for all parties whatever the decisions.
Sarah xx
again I admire you for what you want to do for your bro in law and his partner, I'd just ditto what others have said and a surrogacy so close to you could be quite tricky, it'd be so lovely to be able to help them out but all parties would need to be 110% sure of it for it to work, such a shame things didn't work out this time for them, I hope they do have better luck next time and hope it all turns out fine in the end.
Em x