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Embarrassing sex question...

Following on from a post I wrote a few weeks ago...I have still not done it! (blush) There is a small reason, I had some discomfort from my operation and had to be referred to a specialist but its really not that bad...and getting better. A good few weeks ago hubby mentioned it when we were cuddling and I hadnt had my 6 wk check yet and was in discomfort so said we would think about it again later...well now neither have mentioned it and I dont really know how its ever going to happen. For a start I dont feel in the slightest bit like doing it...and then there is the fact James is in our room...and on week nights hubby mainly sleeps in spare room as he has to get up so early he needs a good sleep. We havent done it since April eeeek...what shall I do? how do you do it when the babies are around?!!



  • we don't image another here thats still not done it! I mentioned it recently and he didn't want to with lo in the room, but we are both so tired and he works such long hours that we just haven't got round to it!
  • We've done the deed ONCE since LO was born, and that was on our anniversary. It's a bit easier for us as LO is already in her own room.
    How about one night when you both don't have to get up in the morning, ask a relative or close friend to look after LO for the night and just have some alone time? If it leads to you know what, then yippee! :P

    For me I really don't feel like it, but my OH is constantly asking me for sexual activities, so I just pretend to fall to sleep. Hahahaha. Mean.
  • We've not done it either!! I've told hubby that something might happen soon though! lol
  • we've not either ;'( I'm just too tired to even contemplate it at the moment
  • I think we have done it twice or maybe 3 times but its so dificult with Alana being quite grizzly in the eveings and being hard to settle due to her reflux when she is finally asleep im too tired. Now she is settling im worried that the bed might wake her too as its metal framed and got rather noisey (*blush*) so not really sure, maybe when she is used to being in her big cot in the day time (which i am trying to start this wk althought not going so well so far lol) we might get a crafty cuddle under the sheets during the day hehe
    Im not worried about it tho at the mo, we have plenty of time for all that when she is older and at the moment we are both really happy that our priority is her. I am content for now and so is hubby but dont think it will last much longer, even im beginig to feel like its been ages now hehe
  • we havent done the deed yet and spare a thought for my poor hubby as its actually coming up to a year now since we last ;did it' as i didnt want too after i got my bfp cause i was so scared! he was understanding in the early days and then when my pregnancy went on as he saw hoe neurotic i was with bump size and lack of movement etc so understood that too and now he gets that im tired etc but thats not whats stopping me - i actually really want to now and i cant and prob wont be able too for a very long time yet as i still have an open gapey bit (tmi sorry) were my episiotomy stitches didnt come together and the thought of anything like that is wayyyyy tooo painful at the minute as it can still be a bit uncomfortable (Megan is 12 weeks tomorrow) and all i can do is wait and hope the wound heals itself although thats quite unlikely now - i have to wait until 6 months post birth and if its not healed then i will have to have a gynae referral and an op to fix it e.g re do it and the thought of that is horrible as i was in quite alot of discomfort with my stitches (i kept saying to midwife they were sore and gaping and she said no they were clean and healing and were apparantly meant to be done liek that as it is a 'new' way to do stitches - honestly does she think im an idiot?!) its bloody typical - hubby understands and knows im not intentionally trying to push him away and while we are still close as like loobylou says - megan is our prioroty and we have plenty of time but i cant help worryign when we do do it again it will be uncomfortable and no where near like before image

    Sorry whinge over but im so annoyed it had to be me espec after the whole not doing it when pregnant after birth i coped with the pain as megan was here - having to have them re done while running around after a 6 or 9 month old is a scary and painful thought respec as i have no one to help me out at all during the day if i need it...7

  • We haven't yet either!! I just don't feel 'right' down there. Seeing HV tomorrow and going to talk to her - think I still have a slight infection or something! Poor hubbies/partners/boyfriends!!! I feel guilty but he's very understanding. x x
  • We've done 'stuff''! I rarely feel in the mood for anything and I'm still quite overweight so feel like a blob and some evenings William gets overtired and it's a joint effort getting him to sleep so sex isn't top of the list!

    I haven't had my 8 week check yet but things feel back to normal to me, and hubby *ahem* said it felt the same! It kind of feels like loosing your virginity again so I had to stop and then the passion went, poor hubby! Though why he thought he would get any in the first 4 weeks after a 2 deg tear and lots of other stitches is beyond me!
  • we have once - and were going to on our anniversary but both of us were ill

    it's a bit different for us as i put Jayden in the nursery overnight but we are still both too knackered and usually collapse into bed
    hubby has suggested we get into bed as soon as Jay is in bed (7pm) and we've had dinner on Saturday so we can have some "romantic" time

    for those with babies sleeping in your room - can you put them in the nursery initially then move them to your rooms before you go to sleep? I give a feed at 10.30pm and this used to be the perfect time to move him into our room
  • we have twice Bella is in our room, she sleeps like a log at night and doesn't wake at anything seriously nothing wakes her we had a police helicopter circling the other night was over our house for a bit it woke us up not her!!
  • Our poor hubbies/partners!!!
    For the first time in AGES last night me and hubby had some 'us' time but didn't do the deed, mainly because I'm still having my period!!! It's been 3 weeks now!!!! Grrrrr!!
  • we have dtd a few times now but no where near when we used too, when we have caleb has been away for the night so we have not had to feel awkward with him in the room. If you really want to its best to set the scene, go out on a date, have a few drinks and remember life before the baby lol, it totally works for us:0) xxx
  • Oh thank god, I cant tell you how much of a relief it is to hear that other people have not dtd yet too! phew, I thought it was just me! Oh Lauz I really feel for you, my discomfort has been bad enough but it sounds like you have a case to make a complaint about that : ( SammyHam, you make me laugh, although I dont need to pretend to fall asleep, im always asleep the second my head hits the pillow! I am a bit nervous to be honest, really weird but I cant imagine what it will feel like! I think I will wait until James stays with my Mum or something - he hasnt stayed away yet - but then I can relax x
  • been watching this thread and am glad i'm not the only one either who hasn't done the deed yet. Poor hubby. I'm just not feeling quite right yet either after a 2nd degree tear. Hopefully we will soon but i'm on anti biotis again now as i have mastitus doh!! XX
  • Awwww maybe just speak to hubby about it, maybe when lo goes to bed make an evening together... have dinner etc... it doesnt always have to be in the bedroom???

    We very often dtd just after putting the kids to bed... our sex life to pretty much as it always was... but maybe we are old hands at it now cos this is second baba... and hes been in his own room from 2 days x

  • Maybe if I was motivated in any way to do it I would find a way but I just dont feel like it at all, I have never been this disinterested : (
  • Phew, I'm not alone!! I'm the same firsttime - never been this disinterested. I don't like my body at the moment so don't feel sexy AT ALL. I feel for my hubby but we talk about it and thankfully he's fine and wants to wait until I feel ready. Hopefully I'll get my interest back soon! x
  • Glad this thread is here - we've kind of done it twice since dd was born but not properly, I also don't feel quite right down there, it often feels sore and starts stinging for no reason at all! Also the last couple of times I've tried using tampons the pain is excruciating - anyone else had this??

    Evie was born by rotational forceps so I was cut and then stitched. Going to speak to HV when she comes for 12 week check on Monday.

  • I bled for 8 weeks after giving birth and Erin is 15 weeks on Sunday..... We have done it quite abit since i stopped bleeling, pretty much the same as before i was pregnant. Erin is in the cot next to us.... Is that bad?? She doesn't wake up though. Just have a 'US' time as mentioned and i bet you have a bit!! Wink Wink!!! xx
  • We've done it once a month so in total 3 times image( We are both so tired and having the LO in our room does not help. I dont feel sexy anymore x
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