Birth Story - , Updated with hubby's view

Ok here is my birth story, its really very very long because it has two parts..Labour up to the birth - about 16 hours but then also after the birth which is information I am sure people will want to read even though its afterwards.

I had been happily on BE chatting about planning eviction techniques on the Tues, no signs at all, no show and no BH. On Wednesday I had another mad nesting episode where I literally scrubbed the kitchen on hands and knees and then spent the day up relaxing in a friends garden. The only strange feelings in hindsight were I had a period of feeling faint during the day and another ???? min period where I couldn't speak the words I wanted, almost like I was thinking them but couldn't say the right word when it tried to come out of my mouth - I thought I had overdone it. That night/Thurs morning at 1:30am I woke up with the faint feeling and was sweating hot, I used the toilet and emptied my bowels and felt a little ill. Got back into bed and didn't feel right at all when I started getting pains - not like period pains, they were more in my bum but I even thought it might be food poisoning.

I got up with the plan of coming on BE but felt quite unwell and ended up hugging cushions on sofa and trying to get comfy through more pains every 20/15 mins until 3:30am when I realised this really might be labour and woke hubby. As soon as I woke hubby they started getting worse, I couldn't try and sleep in between them because when they came they made me feel ill. We were timing from 8 to 5 mins in between with them lasting 45 to 60 seconds.

I decided to have a bath which when I finally got in was bliss..ahhh, I just remember floating on my side and feeling a load better until I had this almighty pain in my groin and bum and suddenly realised I was going to throw up. I then (tmi warning) was sick and emptied my bowels in the bath.

From this point on the contractions were one bad one to maybe two easy ones however every bad one I was vomiting so Maternity Centre said for me to come on in. OMG getting dressed and in there was so hard, I felt really unwell and not happy at all.

Midwife examined me and I was 2cm - oh I wanted to cry! , I also took a gulp of gas and air to try and vomited again she said however my contractions were strong and she actually thought my own anxiety was possible going to make it harder for me, so she suggested pethadine and a good rest in between contractions for the next 4 hours ish and then I could try birth pool etc.

Well that worked great for me because the pethadine comes with an anti sickness drug and I felt much better and well able to then start my labour as planned with relaxation and breathing through.

At 12 midday ish I was examined again and was 6cm - again I actually felt so disappointed but I was coping well. The pethadine had worn off so after discussing options I decided it had actually worked so nicely for me I would have another shot which should take me up to 4pm ish and with how I was progressing baby shouldn't be too sleepy on arrival!

From then things became more of a blur, I went through an irritable phase where I remember hubby annoying me with drinks and every time I wanted his hand for a bad contraction he didn't hold it in the right place and it annoyed me. I shouted at him to ???????talk to me??????? several times as I was getting lost in the pain and couldn't stay focused.
He and my Mum then stepped it up a gear taking turns to talk me through each contraction, because when they didn't they sure knew about it!

I grabbed the gas and air again at some point and it then became my best friend. Hubby and Mum took turns to focus me to open my eyes during contractions and breathe right to the end of them which really helped, every so often I couldn't stay calm to breathe to the end and I would start breathing fast - almost gulping air and the pain would intensify so much, it was a hundred times better when I focused everything I could on relaxing the muscles and breathing through. I used the gas and air as soon as I felt a tightening until the peak just started to ease off and when I timed this right it was also great. Hubby seemed to be able to tell more than me and would tell me when to take the gas and air. All this really strong contracting became more and more of a haze of me focusing on hubby, breathing through and then feeling like I was just coming round to being clear headed again before it would come all over again.

Every 20 mins or so I was aware of the midwife checking the heartbeat with her Doppler thing and telling me I was doing really well.

Then came the bearing down urges...OMG the hardest thing of all was when with each contraction I started to get to the end of it and there would be this sudden and incredible urge to bear down in my bum muscles - like to do a poo. I know at some point I felt a warm sensation and lots of liquid and I felt like I poo'd too but I still do not know if this was my waters and show or poo and wee because the MW cleaned it all up and called it a big show?

I was worried about pushing when I shouldn't be so much but MW seemed calm and kept just saying try to breathe through it - every so often I also heard her say ???????Ellen your not pushing are you???????? and I would say no no, I am trying not to but I cant stop it doing it! It came to a point where towards the very end of each contraction I was having such an urge to push I was having to give in a tiny bit...I secretly thought no one knew this and I focused so much on trying to get through the whole thing and then just giving in at the end - but I was giving myself away by the immense groaning type noise that I realised I was making. All this while I was also squeezing both of hubbys hands and almost rowing his arms back and forth.

Then the MW said ???????Ellen if you feel the urge and want to have a little push next time you could try it??????? - I was utterly confused as thought my guilty pushing was way premature but I was helped onto my back with my knees drawn up and then the most almighty contraction and I waited taking deep breaths until the third breath I went for it - the MW. hubby and Mum all started praising me and exclaiming - the midwife seemed surprised there was so much push in me but it was such a relief and I was actually loving this part. Second push and MW said hold it and pant, which I did and she said I would feel the burning (which I already could) but funnily enough at this point she didn't need to tell me a thing, it was like I had waited my whole life for that and knew exactly hat to do. I held the contraction and panted and felt the head inch out and then relief. I waited for the next contraction which actually felt like it took a while and then only one incredibly long push and the body wooshed out with a lot of my waters.

Then gobsmacked at how quick and easy I found that part I had baby on my bare chest and hubby cut cord and we all oohed and ahhed and marvelled at him. I have never felt so proud of myself in my life. He was born at 16:45pm...and I didn't tear at all!

Part two.
The MW gave me the injection for placenta and I put baby to breast, he was so great and alert and made 5/6 good sucks and then lolled around on there. Some time passed 15/20 mins or so and the MW had a little tug on cord but no sign of placenta coming free. Someone else came to check and suggested a catheter to make sure my bladder wasn't stopping it, I refused initially and suggested I would rather carry cord and all goop to walk to loo and try and wee and be a bit active, they agreed. Unfortunatley nothing happed. I then had catheter put in and again nothing happened. Several more attempts by me to push it out, jiggle around whilst standing up and for various MW's to pull it and it wouldn't come. After my wonderful birth away from Hospital I was told I would have to go up to have a drip to bring on contractions and get it out.

This is where it got worse and worse, the ambulance came and I was standing in bathroom holding the cord all wrapped in a maternity bed mat thing with blood dripping on the floor and they didn't want me to even attempt to clean up myself or put on clean nightie. I had to just wrap a sheet around my middle and get on ambulance trolley with babe in arms. We went up with blue lights and I was so uncomfortable from the pressure of the placenta still there after all the tugging etc.

Drip put in about 8/9pm, nothing happened. Several more nurses and a doctor had a good go at getting it out and I was in pain and couldn't bear any more internals. Urgh. Finally - at quite a shock to me an anaesthetist arrived and began to share with me the risks of a spinal block. I was then told I would have to have a spinal block which would paralyse me from waist down for roughly 6-8 hours! And have the placenta manually removed - which in essence meant the doctor/surgeon using his hands to sweep it all out.

I was finally prepped about midnight and the whole experience was painful, frightening and I just wanted to cuddle my baby. In a nutshell an injection was placed in my spine after much banging and shoving of my hips and cold spray being applied here and there. I then lost the sensation in my legs to pins and needles type feeling and I was asked if a cold spray could be felt as he started at my feet and sprayed to my chest, I could feel it from my boobs up! They put up a screen and put my legs in stirrups - unfortunately when asked if I could feel anything I was able to say no - but I could clearly see what was happening in the big light above me which reflected everything. Urgh. Whilst I couldn't feel pain I could feel movement and it was horrible.

Anyway, all done and then the doc tells me he unfortunately caused a 2nd degree tear but it was all nicely stitched up for me - I just wanted to cry and cry at this point.

Horrible night spent in hospital then, couldn't pick up baby because of my paralysis so had to call nurse when he cried and had obs every 30 mins so couldn't get any sleep anyway.

Long day in hospital yesterday where I learnt the hideous pain that arrived when the paralysis wore off, I eventually started the process of self discharging myself at 5pm last night because they were so short staffed, I had missed roughly 48 hours sleep, they took four hours to produce me even a paracetamol despite my tears and the ward was so hot baby wouldn't feed - he just slept and slept. After hubby and I agreeing to sign anything they wanted to let me leave they finally actually got round to discharging me anyway at 6pm.

So today was first day at home. I am weary and in quite some pain, I have bruising everywhere from my back to my feet and my neck/chest/back aches so much I cant use my left arm to lift anything. I am also very swollen down below.

I am however so happy, and able to separate my birth experience from the complications that came after and am just so happy nothing bad happened to my little babe, I don't mind this pain one bit for he is so peaceful and wonderful and all will be well with a little rest and lots of cuddles. We haven't named him yet! Its quite hard now but we will hurry up!

I am sorry for going on forever! Good luck everyone still waiting and I cant wait for your own announcements.

xxx
...............................................................................................................................................................

Woken at 3.30am to find Ellen had been having contractions since 1.30am. I went and got her a drink, and some more pillows. Ellen was finding it hard to sleep (obviously) and wanted to try but laying down was not possible it seemed. So pillows were there to prop her up a bit. Didn't work un-surprisingly. She claimed that in between the main contractions, she would have little mini ones. No idea if that's normal or not?

Came downstairs around 4.30am to run a bath, and we sat on sofa waiting. Contractions coming quite irregularly at this point. Seemed to be anything between 5-8 mins apart. The only consistent thing at this stage is that they lasted about 50 seconds each time. Rang mid-wife at 4.50am who told us to monitor the contractions to be a regular 5 minutes (or less), with them lasting around 45-60 seconds. Ellen had some paracetamol. Bath had gone cold so had to run a new one. She got in the bath around 5.30am. Ellen says she's not certain whether they're getting worse or not.

Ellen gets out the bath at 6.25am. Feel completely useless. Not much I can do but fetch and carry for her. She keeps saying its not fun. Rang Julia at 6.50am. Rang mid-wife at 7.15am. Ellen is throwing up whilst I'm on the phone. Told the maternity hospital we are coming in within the half hour as contractions are under 4 mins apart now. As soon as we hang up, contractions go back to being about 7 mins apart.

At 7.45am, we leave the house. The contractions are getting worse and getting Ellen to the car is proving to be slow and hard work. Hoping that when we get to the maternity centre, they don't send us home saying she's only 1 or 2 cms. We're driving through rush hour which doesn't help matters.

Arrive at maternity centre at 8am. Michelle takes us to Birthing Room 1 and settles us in. She's writing notes on a piece of paper towel. Bit strange. I know the NHS is a bit stretched but surely they have A4 paper somewhere they can write on? Ellen's contractions are coming through more regularly now. They are back to 4 mins again. Dana, the mid-wife we're supposed to have, arrives...late. We all get to know each other and explain everything that's happened til now. Julia arrives shortly after and then Ellen asked that her mum and myself leave the room, whilst Dana does an internal examination. We wait outside.

Dana comes outside to us. Tells us we need to calm Ellen down as she is wound up which is making the birth harder. Also turns out, Ellen is 2cms dilated. Bad news as this could mean we are being sent home. As it turns out, the maternity centre is completely empty and both birthing rooms are free, as well as the four post-natal beds. We can stay. We are not being sent home. What a relief. Dana arranges tea and toast for us all and tells us to make the birthing room our own.

Dana suggested Ellen try the gas and air to help. Ellen expressed the worry about her vomiting. I guess there's only one way to find out, eh? Ellen tried it, and promptly threw up (into a ridiculously small cardboard tray that wasn't really fit for purpose). She went through about 3 of those. It was then suggested Pethadine (+ anti-sickness drug) was going to have to be considered. Hoped and prayed Ellen decided to go for it, as it wasn't in the original plan. Ellen gave the nod and the injection came shortly after. Ellen keeps asking what the time is. I decided to ignore her requests for the time as I believed it was one of the things stopping her from relaxing properly.

1.30pm comes and goes, and another internal examination takes place. We don't have to leave the room this time. Waiting to hear how dilated is like waiting to hear who's getting evicted or voted out on tv shows. Seemed to take forever, but we find out she's 6cm gone. On that, we could deduce that 4cm at 1cm an hour means a 5pm delivery. Ellen takes more pethadine, and is some considerable pain now. She tries the gas and air again, and apart from one small vomiting episode, she takes to it, and from this point onwards, doesn't stop using it.

Julia and I took shifts with Ellen. She kept asking me to talk to her when I was -on' but had no idea what to say. I listened to what the mid-wife was saying and Julia, and then repeated what they said. They seemed to know what to say. After a couple of goes, I seemed to saying what Ellen wanted to hear. Thank god for that. Ellen was gulping gas and air like no tomorrow by this stage. She kept shutting her eyes and taking short breaths during the contractions, which I learnt to realise wasn't right so ensured that she kept focused and breathed deep and long. I also remember Dana saying that the gas and air took 10 secs to work and that Ellen was waiting for the contractions to start again, before she took her first gulp. Obviously, she needed to start taking them earlier that the first signs each time so I started anticipating this for her. She was sometimes starting on the gas and air 30 secs before the first signs, but at least that way it didn't matter. I was happy to take -the blame' for that, haha.

Throughout this whole process, I became more and more aware of how much the mid-wife wasn't doing a great deal anymore. She would pop in every half hour and take Ellen's blood pressure and monitor the baby's heartbeat, but stood back to let us experience the moment. I was so glad she did this. I felt more part of the birth than maybe I would have if she was there all the time barking orders. I wasn't aware of how little she did until the end when I thanked for all she did, and she told us that she didn't do anything and that it was the three of us that did everything. Made it all worthwhile later on, having played such a major impact on the delivery of my child.

I've got to admit at this stage I was pretty scared. Ellen was in immense pain, and I knew she was coming up to the later stages of the contractions, prior to the pushing phase. I wanted so badly to be able to help, but it seemed me talking to her, the gas and air and my new job, which was to have my hand crushed as every major contraction came through. I have no idea where she was getting this strength from, but my god, was it hurting me. She wasn't far from drawing blood with her nails (gents, get your partners to cut their fingernails - if you can persuade them to) and I thought at one point she might even start breaking bones in my hand with the grip. Thankfully, when Julia was -on' I noticed Ellen not using -the grip' on her. Otherwise, she'd have been in A&E I think long before any sign of baby.

4.30pm. Using my extremely limited knowledge on childbirth, not to mention lack of experience, I decided that we're probably about 30 mins away from delivery. Not a bad guess afterall, as it turns out, as at 4.35pm, Dana tells Ellen she can finally start pushing. The baby's head has about an inch to go. Its time. Ellen always told me that at this stage she wants me ???????to stay at the head end???????. I decided at this point, she'd be concentrating so much on her pushing that she wouldn't notice me walk down the bed quickly to take a look at my new baby's head. Luckily for me, the plan worked. It was amazing to see. Two pushes and the baby's head was out. It only took one more push and the body comes out at 4.45pm. It's a boy. Everyone knows but Ellen. Baby is placed on her chest. Ellen still hasn't asked. Eventually Dana asks her is she wants to know. She's so taken aback by how amazing baby was, that she forgot to ask. I've never been so proud of anything or anyone in my entire life as I was of my wife at this point. It brought a tear to my eye as a I realised she had provided me with my first child and had given so much to do it for us both. It truly was a wonderful and amazing day.

Sadly for us all, this was the last time we would feel that elation for some time. Ellen had to deliver the placenta. She was given the injection, and whilst Julia and I shared some first amazing moments with my son, Ellen had to push this thing out of her - and it wasn't coming. Two mid-wives have a go at pulling on it with no joy. Ellen gets up and sits on the toilet hoping to dislodge it herself - again nothing happening. 7pm. A catheter is attached to Ellen un-successfully as she claims its hurting her too much and the mid-wives cant see properly due to Ellen being so swollen. 8pm. Another trip to the toilet by Ellen and another attempt to pull on the cord to no avail.

The decision is made to take Ellen up to the main hospital. An ambulance collects her and the baby and away they go. Julia and I head up in separate cars. When we finally meet up with Ellen again, she's been placed in a private room. One guy comes in and explains he's going to attach a drip to my wife which would induce the contractions again, and this is how the placenta is going to be delivered. Not 5 minutes later, another guy comes in, explaining he's an anaethestatist and he's going to place an injection into Ellen's spine and remove the placenta manually. Quite clearly, they cant be doing both and I express my concerns over why there seems to be two completely different methods in place for my wife. As it turns out, the drip was tried and failed, so Ellen was taken to theatre for the spinal block at 12.50am friday. Julia and I waited. At 1.40am, we were told that the surgery was a success. Julia left the hiospital only to find that we had a parking ticket each in the hospital car park as we were 20 mins overdue. ??60 each too. I stayed with Ellen til 2am before heading home.

Back to hospital at 10.30am. Ellen is now in post-natal. Mid-wife tells us thatEllen cant go home til she proves she can breast-feed. Also, baby has to have a wet-nappy (i.e. urine in his nappy). The hospital is seriously under-staffed and its about an hour between the mid-wife leaving us each time and re-appearing again. Add to that, we're in a ward with other screaming babies and loud visitors to other patients. This day was such a contrast to the lovely day we had spent only 24 hours before. IT couldn't have been any more different. Ellen asks for pain-killers at 11am, as she is so much pain, she's bursting into tears in front of me. I go to the desk to ask for some, and they tell me ???????...the drug run isn't until 1pm, so she'll have to wait until then. There's no way of them getting the pain killers any earlier from Pharmacy???????. I couldn't quite believe what she was telling me. I pointed out to them what my wife had been through, and asked them to realise how ridiculous what they had said sounded. They agreed with me, but stuck to their guns on the ???????drug run???????.

1pm came and went. No pain killers. I was about to go out to reception and stamp my feet once more, when at 1.09pm, the painkillers arrived. The mid-wife explained ???????...that Ellen's notes had been lost and then found under some other stuff and that's why the delay for the painkillers???????. I thought the reason was because she couldn't get them until 1pm? More lies it seemed. Anyway, I didn't want to make a scene as I saw this as an opportunity to get my wife and son out of there. Wrong! No wet nappy, no exit. I'm trying my best to not to lose my temper, and at 3.30pm, we decide enough is enough and we are leaving. Mid-wife arrives at 3.40pm with another mid-wife from NICU (and a machine that goes ???????Bing???????), does a scan on baby to find he has a full bladder, taps his stomach, urine everywhere and we're given the green light to make a run for it.

Takes another 30 mins to wait for the paperwork to release us, but at 4.10pm we leave. Straight back into Friday's rush hour....

[Modified by: firsttime28 on 10 July 2010 21:05:15 ]