Any advice girlies.....................

ColaBottlesareyummy · Oct 1, 2009 4:34PM

More related to those of you with older children but that forum looked fairly deserted and I know you lovely ladies won't mind me posting in here! DS is 4 and started reception class at the beginning of September. He was fine for the first fortnight, went to line up in the yard without a problem and went in and out of school with a huge smile on his face. Have to confess I felt a bit smug that he'd settled so well lol! Last week and today have well and truly wiped that smile from my face though. He cried every single day last week and had to be peeled off me this morning and taken in by his teacher. It's breaking my heart to see him like that cos he's usually such a happy chappy and quite confident for his age. I know he's fine when he's there as his teacher rings me and he's full of smiles and hugs at hometime. It is quite hard to get him to talk about what he's done at school but he was never that hot on volunteering info on what he'd been upto at nursery either, methinks toys and running around are more interesting than mummy! I've tried cuddles and talking to him, as has OH, about what's changed and all he says is that school's boring and too long. He used to do 2 hours a day longer at nursery, 3 days a week as I was working then so I don't understand that one. I've tried bribery (first with stickers, then with sweeties~desperate times = desperate measures!) and I tried being toughish this morning with the 'one kiss, one cuddle, now go and line up please' talk which obv didn't work! I just don't know where to go from here, nothing's changed at home, though I suppose OH is working away more as he's got a promotion at work but we can't change that and he was doing that before DS started school.
Please help a tearful mummy, any words of wisdom welcome and appreciated!
Zoe
Xx

flickaty · Sep 28, 2009 6:19AM

hi zoe, its horrible when they cry you really feel so guilty for leaving them. phoebe has just started in reception too and she has mostly been ok a bit hesitant for the first few days and then at the end of the first week and the beggining of the second we had tears when i left, but like you said i phoned up about an hour later and she was absolutely fine. after a few days of tears i got a bit tough as im sure me trying to comfort her was making it worse. at phoebes school you take them into the classroom so i would go in with her and just tell her to go and hang her coat up, put her reading folder in the box and then go and find her name on the table (which is what they are suposed to do in the morning), when she has finnished i just give her a quick kiss and tell her i will see her later and then go, and since then she has been alot better.
im not really sure what would help joe as his school routine is different to phoebes, if he is the sort of child who likes to please maybe you could get him to do a picture for his teacher to give to her in the morning, or putting his favorite treat in his lunch box, or if he has made a good little friend they could stand together in the playground and then go together to line up.
above all remember that he is most likely just doimng it for your benifit as as soon as you are gone he is fine, im sure he is just pushing his luck and will grow out of it in a few weeks. hope that things improve soon for you.xxxxxx

LimeCupcake · Sep 28, 2009 2:43PM

Hiya. Sounds like its just sinking in for him that he now has to go to school all the time and it might take a few weeks for that to sink in. The first week it would have been a novelty but now he has realised its hear to stay he's protesting. It's horrible I know but stick it out coz he'll be fine eventually!

ColaBottlesareyummy · Sep 30, 2009 3:16PM

Thanks girls, think you're right about the novelty factor Nic! Touch wood he's been a bit better the last couple of days. A result of a combo of fave lunches, Ben 10 sticker bribes at hometime (for WHEN you've gone into school like the big boy that I know you are lol) and the promise of a trip to his fave play centre this weekend with ??1 for every day he goes in with no fussing to buy himself rides on the go karts! Can't believe I'm paying my 4 year old to go to school lol!!
Xx

ChristineDean · Oct 1, 2009 11:57AM

i wouldn't feel guilty about bribing i've heard loads of people use the ol father christmas one as well. i work on the phone and while speaking to one mum she put me onto her young daughter to say that she had to be good or Santa wouldn;t come. apparently i have a direct line to santa lol. im sure he will be fine once he has got used to it all. its such a big change for them

Makka_Pakka2 · Oct 1, 2009 4:34PM

I don't have any great words of wisdom but I can empathise as Saumel has been bad at the old goodbyes since he started in nursery in June/July. I would support a routine but quick goodbye. We always hang up his coat and bag on his hook together then go back in the main room for brekkie. It's a quick kiss and cheerio; The good news from us is that in te last couple of weeks the tears have virtually stopped. He only whinges a bi now - more because he's in the habit of it than because he doesn't want me to actually go. So I'm sure the tears will stop. On a not so good news front, my job-share had this with her daughter. After Christmas hols / Easter etc. she had a tough couple of weeks starting over again. But she settled back in again after a bit. Good luck! J x

Any advice girlies.....................

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