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Message for Ricechristy and anyone else RE. breastfeeding

Hi Chris!

I can't do it!!!

Stop breastfeeding that is.

I've been cutting down but I just don't think I want to stop yet in my heart. I didn't prepare myself for this sort of emotional attachment. What am I like?!?

Plus I do find the first and last feed of the day convenient to BF. He jumps into bed with me in the morning then goes back to sleep straight after. I'm sure this wouldn't happen if I come downstairs and prepare a bottle.

You say you don't want grief from you family this Christmas. What do you mean?

My Mum and sister-in-law are very in favour of BF-ing for as long as you want. My SIL is still feeding my 1 year old nephew, BUT my in-laws were really supportive of it when Samuel was little but they don't get it now he's older. None of my husbands family every BF and they're always asking me how much longer I'm going to do it for. It's so annoying and I wish they'd stop asking me. I think they're secretly afraid that they're going to have a "weirdo" in the family and that I'll breastfeed him when he goes to school :lol: .

Do you feel that you're judged differently by some people / society in general now you've past the 6-month mark? I had loads of support in the early months but I do feel that some people aren't used to the idea of nursing an older baby. I just think our culture isn't tuned into it yet. It's ridiculous really. Why do I feel like I need to justify my decision to carry on? It could be me being too sensitive.

Ramble over.

Just wondered what you thought. I should probably have posted this on the BF-ing forum really. I hope nobody minds me posting it here!

Jo x

[Modified by: Jo1976 on 15 December 2008 21:09:00 ]


  • Hey Jo, I have sucessfully fed lucas only morning and night for 4 months now. It really is ideal for me because I work. I agree about the morning feed totally! I get an extra half hour in my bed before work!!! I'm not ready to stop either so if you dont want to, dont! If you want to phase it out why don't you only feed him in the morning or something or even just morning and night to start Hardly anyone ever sees me feeding Lucas now, not that it bothers me to feed in front of people but I am starting to get less supportive comments from people. It used to be "youve done well for doing it so long" now its "when are you going to stop?" I'm so sick of it!

    You know whats best for you and your wee man so go for what your heart is telling you to do. I am!!
  • hi hun well done for deciding to keep going, if your not ready to stop then you should not feel like you have to to please other people. freya is still ebf and wil not take a bottle at all which is a bit of a pain now i work 2 evenings a week but i just feed her before i go and graham just puts her to bed with out a feed it takes her a bit longer thsn usual to settle but it seems to be going ok so far.
    i am no way ready to stop yet, i have decided im going to let freya wean herself off, obviously if it gets rediculous then i will have to step in but im hoping that it wont come to that.

    my mum was a breastfeeder and fed all of us until over a year and one of us until we were 3, so she is fully supportive of me carrying on feeding, but OHs family are bottle feeders and cannot understand why i am doing it for so long, my mil even asked me at what age she has to go on the bottle? hmmmmm never ithink ws my answer. appart from any thing else i am saving about ??40 a month by bf, thatas how i justify it to OH any way, he is supportive but i think that he is secretly hoping i wont go pst a year, ha ha.

    people in this country just arnt used to idea of extended bf, most peoplr go by the guide lines 'for the first 6 months'. one of my SILs even thought that you had to put them on formula at 6 months ( not that she even tried to bf), if that was the case then how the hell did the human race survive before formula was invented?. i dont want to slag OHs family off, they are very nice people and we get on well, but i just cant understand how seemingly inteligent people can be so badly imormed.

    any way rant over well done for deciding to carry on. x
  • ooh Jo i cant do it either i keep chickening out. i wanted to carry on til a year but i go back to work in Jan had i got the job i went for i would have been able to go accross and feed him at lunch etc.

    i havnt had any bad reactions when i have fed him in public but i do feel uneasy as now he is above 6 mmonthd i feel like people will think im a bit odd especially as Sam looks about 2.

    i come from a very run down council estate where i dont think they have caight up with modern times. when i went home last Sam was only 3 months old and i got loads of comments like 'when are you gonna get him onto formula' 'dont you think its time he was on the bottle' it just went on and on. my foster mum told me i shouldnt be feeding him on demand that i should put him on a diet and this was when Sam was 3 months!! there next door neighbour is a social worker who looks after young mums and she was really negative about bfing as well which i think was shocking she even went to say that one of her charges was a bad mum for bfing her lo until they were 18 months luckily the girl stood her ground and carried on.

    my local day centre do a stay and play and conversation crept round to bfing and everyone had stopped at 6 months or earlier and when i said i was still bfing i expected a negative reaction but everyone was like omg thats amazing and well done. my hv keeps asking me to be a peer supporter. i keep expecting a negative reaction but so far i have had really positive.

    i am going to try and stop this weekend. Sam had some premade formula yesterday which was encouraging as he normally hates all formula.
  • just as a p.s i spoke to my hv about stopping and her suggestion was to carry on the morning and night feeds and just stop they day feeds and make sure he has plenty of calcium from foods. just an idea for you rather than stopping. its not a choice for me as Sam wont take formula we are gonna have to go cold turkey and also i have to leave for work at 6.30am and i need lots of sleep lol

    oh as a p.p.s the international guidelines for bfing are that you do it up until 2 years

    i am gonna stop my ramble now lol

    [Modified by: Ricechristy on December 11, 2008 04:04 PM]

  • Chris... i really feel for you! To stop due to others reactions is so unfair on you. You should be getting support and love not awful comments. I really feel for you.
    I too need to give up. Just for one else! OH is very supportive BUT i just feel tired, run down and i am using BF as excuse not to exercise and diet....bad!!!!

    Good Luck

    d xxx
  • Thanks loads for chipping in everyone! Well I got my first AF today so I'm obviously producing less milk! Partly coz I went to London yesterday and didn't feed much. I'm back on 2 feeds a day now.

    Nic - yes good advice. I think the morning feed will be the last to go.

    Nik - I do understand what you mean about the babysitting. I'd say just go with what you feel is right as they're babies for such a short time. You SIL can help out when you're ready. I think 4 feeds a day is fine if you can't do 3. We've rarely done just 3.

    Flick - way to go! I hope some of the March Mummies BF longer-term. I do think it's a lovely idea and I might do that next time around.

    Chris - I think we've all done well to stick at BF-ing through the hard times in the early days, but I do think you deserve a medal. It's hard to stick to something when those around you aren't doing. Of the Mum friends I've made, the ones who stuck to BF-ing were from BF families, and the ones who didn't were FF as babies. It obviously makes a big difference to most people but you're a shining exception to the rule.

    Dee - sounds like you're ready to wind it down in the new year too. A friend said she thought she'd really miss it when she stopped but she didn't surprisingly. Hopefully this will happen to us!

    Jo x
  • So are there not many of us left not thinking of stopping yet? I like feeding morning and night but I also express at lunchtime in work so lucas has an afternoon snack. Will stop expressing after Christmas but will still feed morning and night. I love BFing and didn't really know before I had Lucas I'd feel this way. I didn't think I'd last this long!!! My aim is probably just to a year but who knows!
  • Just want to say an a formula feeder I wish you all the best of luck!
    I think BFing when baby is no longer a baby like about 5 or 6 is wrong but that's my opinion & in my opinion I think BFing when your baby is still a baby which yours all are is a great thing.
    Pressure from family etc is unfair. It is your choice as the mother of your child to do what you feel is right & suitable for them & for you. You are providing them with something that is essential & very important for their development....would they tell you to stop spoon feeding them??????

    Anyway my little rant done just wanted to say I hope that those of you who are stopping but want to continue find a way to do so & those of you who are stopping all together good luck!! xx
  • i think tha every one should be really proud of them selves for getting this far!! So a massive weldone to all of us!!!!

    If you feel that now is the time to stop then dont feel bad you have given your little ones the very best start in life, and they will reap the benifits for years to come.

    with my first i felt that the time had come to stop at about 7 months and we were both happy with that, but this time i havent reached that point yet, i still really want to carry on and freay will not take a bottle so it wouldnt be fair on her to stop now. i wouldnt feed past the age of 3 though i really think that that is where i would draw the line.

    Any way weldone every one. xxxx
  • Hi Jo,

    I don't think that anyone should stop breastfeeding for any other reason than it's time for them. I am still B/feeding Zara and she has just turned 8 months.

    I started off saying I will do it till she is 6 months, then it was 9 months and an now on I will carry on till 1. I love it though.

    I have not had any negative comments, although I do feel a bit strange now doing it in public, as she is sooooo big, it must look a little odd.

    I think you should do what feels right for you and your baby.

    Must stop sooner rather than later after laughing my head off at one of the Supernanny shows, when it turned out that the little girl (7) asked for mimi and this was breastmilk, mmmm not good at all.


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