🚨 Advance warning 🚨 This forum will be closing on 1st May – please see our pinned thread for more information.
Beware Incoming RANT
ops:I really really really do not know what I am supposed to do with Ellie!
She gets her bath then wee massage & dressed & her bottle then it is bedtime. Now usually I would let her lie on my bed beside me until she is in a deep enough sleep for me to lift her into her cot without her wakening but a few nights ago she almost fell off my bed so this put heed to that!
Last night I had had enough of cuddling, rocking, swinging her to sleep & I put her into her cot & put the mobile on...Well 2 hours later she was still in hysterics after banging her head repeatedly off the cot side & shaking the bars like a toddler with no sign of going to sleep.
My mum was cracking up because she was tired & wanted to sleep. my poor younger brother was demented looking & I just wanted to run out the door & keep running. All of her bottles needed sterilised & then filled with water or else there's have been none for this morning & they both wanted to go to sleep so I lifted her out of her cot & brought her downstairs with the intention of putting her into her bouncy station while I did what I had to then going to bed with her when I was done.
By the time I got down the stairs I was crying so hard I was gasping & I honestly couldn't cope because the more I cried the more Ellie laughed. This is at midnight by the way...
Anyway my Mum heard me crying & came down & lifted Ellie brought her upstairs & put her into the cot with the bedroom light off & told her to go to sleep. Mum then came down to me about 10 minutes later as she thought i'd went into Ellie because she was so quiet, I said No so we agreed another 5/10 minutes i'd check her. I did this & nearly had a heart attack as she was sitting bolt upright in the cot where Mum had put her but wasn't making a sound. I walked back out of the room again & about 20 minutes later she was crying so I was going to bed anyway & just came on up to her- she had fallen asleep where she was sitting & had kind of fallen forward bent over- so bloody tired she was! I gave her a quick cuddle, wrapped her in her blanket & put her into the cot.
She slept in her cot until about 6 then I out of habit brought her into bed with me where she slept until about 9.30am. We were so tired I didn't mind. Tonight though I decided once & for all this all needed breaking so.... I gave her 2.5ml spoonful of dozol because it relaxs her when she is in the hysterical screaming like a 2 year ol not 8 month old baby fit. I know there are some out there who will criticise me for this but to be honest I really don't care you do what you have to...
Anyway she had her bath & bottle then I gave her a cuddle & turned the lights off. As soon as I put her into the cot she started whimpering then progressed to her usual crying hissy so I lay in bed & reached my hand through the cot to stroke her face. Within about 3 minutes she was asleep & 10 minutes later I left the room without her stirring.
She's been asleep almost 2 hours now & I can't quite believe it.
Now the point of that whole story was I can't keep giving her dozol & I don't want to get into the habit of storking her face etc to get her to sleep. Please can someone give me some indication as to what I should do to get her to go to sleep without the upset? I can't actually cope with it any more!
Sorry for such a long post I really needed to get that off my chest
xx 0
Replies
If it helps I melt down the other night!!!!! I was so tired, mad and sick of them all moaning or griping etc.... Andrew was away and even the older ones were at it....moan, moan, want, want etc.... I slammed the stair gates we had just had made for quite a lot of money..so hard that they broke. Tell you what though it made me feel better. I need a punch bag in the garage i think!!!!
Back to your problem. My Lauren (she was a bugger) was prescribed phenigen (sp)at this age due to sleep probs. So long as you not gving too much or too long then dont worry. However, maybe you need to speak to gp so he can check things over????
sorry........will have to write more in minute. Joseph having a 4 year old fit.....
d xxx
I was prescribed it for \lauren but only for 10 days. I had to set up a sleeping plan in that time and wean her off the meds day by day. It workd.
I too was living with my mum as OH was working in Holland and he had a awful town house which was in horrible place (his mum and dad gave him deposit for it when he was 20 as they upped sticks and moved to Cheshire). Anyway, the house was broken into twice while I was asleep with Lauren so enough was enough and we sold it and i moved in with mum as we could not afford anything better. I too had a brother living at home but he was only 8 at the time. Mum worked and David went to school so i felt obiged to keep Lauren quiet..hence the bad sleeping habits. ....
Anyway, I got prescription from GP but HV and I had to set up sleep plan. Started at 6 with bath, quiet time, massage, reading book (no tv noise etc..) then I had to put her in cot and lay on bed igoring her... each night I had to move closer to the door. The first night was sheer terror. She screamed and screamed and was purple in the face. She was actually sick too... Every 5 mins, then 10 then 15 I would stroke her face through the bars as you did and then shut up again. By night 4 she was going down...whimpering but, going to sleep alone. It was heaven.
Go and see GP and HV and get some help......you dont have to do it alone.
Hugs
d xxxxxxxxx
First of all i'd just like to say what an amazing job i think you are doing. The majority of us on here have the support of our husbands/partners and to honest if it wasn't for Tony i think i'd have had a breakdown by now!
You've had a lot on your mind over the last few months with the court case etc and it's bound to get you down. Also Ellie would have picked up on that anxiety and would not have helped things. Also the fact that you are sharing with family and therefore Ellie does not have her own room has no doubt played a part but in time these things will improve for you.
It sounds to me as though she has bad separation anxiety. To Ellie you are her whole world and she needs to realise that when you put her to bed at night you will still be there in the morning. Routine wise i don't think you could do anything better but is there any chance that your mum could help on a bedtime rota with you i.e you do one night and she does the next etc. It will be hard to start but i don't think it would take long. I know you probably feel as her mum you want to do everything for her but she won't feel any less of you for getting a bit of support.
To Ellie you are the bestest mummy in the whole wide world and she doesn't want to spend a minute apart from you but i'm afraid that won't be healthy for either of you in the long run. Take pride in the fact that you are doing an amazing job all on your own but don't be afraid to ask for help. At the least speak to your HV to see what she can suggest.
I'm sorry if i've not been much help but i'm thinking of you - let us know how you get on.
Lots of love,
Claire xx
Sorry bout the problems you are having with little one and to be honest I not cristised as if you are knackered and you are tired then hey what the hell... sod eveyrone else...
We are in a similar situation as I have just stuck Phoebe in with her sister and her sleeping has got bad.. she will sleep in day but not at night...
So I know how easy it is to slip into the habit of sticking lo in bed with you til they are in a deep sleep and move them into their cot...
I agree with Dee to speak to the HV? How does Ellies sleep in the day? do you rock her or anything then??
At nighttime, you have a routine which is good, start from tea time then wind down and everything you are doing... by all means carry on stroking the face, then after a few days go to the hands and eventually work it so all you need to do is just have a hand slightly on her bum (if she sleeps on front) sometimes it is the reasurance they need.. eventually just sit/ lay on bed with hand in the cot so she knows you are still there and gradully move away... I dont know what routine it is but a lot talk about it...
It will take time, there is no quick remady for this problem, but persist as much as you can as it will benefit you in the long run.
If you feel down take your self out of the room and ocunt to ten or have ur tears and then go back in a try again...
Another thing I do is if Phoebe wont settle cause she has worked herself up so much, I cuddle her but ont rock, then when her eyes are going and she is nearly asleep I put her in her cot and pat her bum lightly then gradually get lighter and just rest your hand then move away....
I dont know if this is any help to you... its just some of the things I try... sorry I dont really know much about whats going on as I avent been here for a while, but if you are stressed from that then as claire mentioned (i think it was)she will pick up on your stress... I know it will be hard not to be tense, but try and relax and not think oh god its that time of day again....
Good Luck with everything... I know it will be hard but well worth it... I had the same problem with my first and I didnt sort it til he was a toddler and it was hard then..
PLenty of hugs to you
Lisa x x x x x
Don't know if it works but i'm sure it's suggested that you leave them to cry, go in with some comforting words and walk out, wait a bit longer, go in and say a bit less and walk out, wait a bit longer and then the third time go in and say nothing at all.
Have you tried a dummy? I know they're not ideal but Olivia loves hers and it really helps her to relax if she's worked up.
Also maybe sleep with a muslin cloth one night and then the next night put it in her cot with her so she can smell you or maybe sleep with a teddy so she has something to cuddle into.
I really wouldn't worry about getting her into bed with you first thing in the morning for an extra hr. Who wouldn't want to do that? I wish Olivia would - she'd just grab my face, start babbling and be wide awake! I'd try and stick to a time so it doesn't gradually get any earlier though, say 6 at the earliest if you're happy with this. xxx
[Modified by: Nicx & Lucas on November 28, 2008 11:46 PM]
Same with Claire, I find if Aimee is not awake for at least 3 1/2 hours before bedtime she wont go down.
Im a travel agent so wear a light scarf round my neck in the day. Then when I get home aimee goes off to sleep with it, I take it away once shes asleep.
You sound like you are doing a fab job just need to stick to it. When I did controlled crying it took about a week. Must be hard living with others though xx
As for me Nick is a real bad sleeper.. and even today he wakes up every 3-4 hours.. and I have sort of got adjusted to his routine rather than try and change him to mine... I have been told by elderly parents/ relatives that they will gradually start adjusting to our times at the most when they are 2-3 yrs old (yeah long way to go yet) but they will...
We all sail in the same boat... so lots of hugs to u
xxx
Bubbly
Thank you so much for all of your replies & advice, as always it is appreciated & even just being able to let off steam like I have done makes a difference!
I haven't given Ellie dozol from that night, just needed it to get her over at that point because I didn't know what else to do. I have been keeping her awake longer in the day & (fingers crossed) this has helped.
She has been wakening aroun 4/half 4 for a bottle & I think the extra 4oz has alsohelped fill her up a bit more. Going to see my HV on Tuesday to discuss weaning Ellie again & I am definitely asking about a sleep plan because although the past few nights she has been OK I am not convinced that this is her for good plus she's still not going down until about half 9/10 which is soooooooo late!
Thanks again ladies xxx