Nightmare bedtimes! Any advice?

Replies

• kayssis

  Jul 29, 2010 3:53AM

  Ryans no different at night to during the day, but unless he's really sleepy he often won't settle unless he knows your nearby. At night I always read him a bedtime story, not that he has a clue, but listening to my voice seems to help him settle enough that he's calm and we can go downstairs and he'll sleep himself. I don't actually know if that made any sense but can't read it back on this blimin phone x

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• HappyMrsG

  Jul 29, 2010 3:57AM

  Hiya, im afraid im going to be no help, we have the opposite,day time naps are a mare and nightime ok ish, she does cry sometimes when she goes down but she stops in between so i know it cant be that bad for her then.
  Maybe try earyler as they do seem tougher to get to sleep if too tired don't they!
  I'll be watching this with interest as i want to get madam to go off in the day would like her to go in her cot sometimes!
  Oh she goes to sleep between 8.30 and 9.30 mostly but does seem to get really upset about 5-6pm like she needs to go bed but then thats too early really, would be impossible to do that everynight cos of dd1's clubs and tea time!
  Sorry i realise i've been no use whatsoever! Xx

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• Eyper

  Jul 29, 2010 4:02AM

  Is she getting over tired in the evening? Sophie behaves like that when she is over tired and I have found that keeping things quiet in the evening and putting her to bed earlier when she is begining to look like she might get over tired helps. If we miss the window then it can take over an hour to get her to sleep.
  
  We've also reserved one of the tunes on the mobile for bedtime only. I play that when she goes into her cot, and after about a week it was sending her to sleep quicker each day.
  
  Our woes at the moment are the early hours of the morning. Last night she woke at 3am, 4am, 5am and 5.30am and was wide awake by 6am so we got up. She isn't hungry as I can pop the dummy in her mouth and she goes straight back to sleep. She only actually cried briefly at 3am last night, at the other times she was cooing and wriggling. It is getting darker in the mornings now, so it was still dark at 3am and 4am and it wasn't the light that was waking her. It's just so annoying as I'm sleeping on her bedroom floor at the moment and it keeps waking me up!

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• megsmum

  Jul 29, 2010 4:17AM

  Megan is the same and wouldn't go to bed until 11 at earliest. The last couple of nights we've managed to get her in her cot by 10pm though. I've been giving her a bottle just before putting her down (just an ounce as she has a bottle at 9 so isn't hungry it seems more of a comfort thing but she won't have a dummy) then reading a story and then leaving her with mobile music and she settles quite quickly.
  
  I'm going to try and bring this forward to just after her 9pm bottle over the next week, just worried she'll get up earlier or in the night. Although she went down at 10pm last night and has woken up a few times this morning, stretched and gone back to sleep and doesn't seem the slightext bit interested in her morning bottle yet!

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• NurseCol

  Jul 29, 2010 5:08AM

  Archie will only settle in the evenings if I put in the top I've been wearing all day next to him! He pulls it over his face (I do take it away once hes dropped off by the way!). He also has a slumber bear which goes off every time he makes a noise.
  
  He never used to settle until 11ish but was getting so over tired that it used to take hours to settle him. We now start the bedtime routine at 630!! Still takes some time but compared to the evenings we used to have its amazing! x

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• Mitxi

  Jul 29, 2010 5:10AM

  What a naughty bunch the maybies are
  I was wondering whether she was getting too tired and I was leaving it too late. Tonight I can't test the theory as I have to be somewhere at 7pm but tomorrow I'll be trying to get her into bed no later than 8pm. See what happens. I think any earlier than that just isn't realistic as she has a bottle anytime between 6.30 and 7.30 and I always bath her before bed.
  1st-timer, I've noticed that bedtime doesn't seem to have an affect on what time she wakes up for feeds or finally gets up in the morning. Corynn wakes up at 10am, not a moment before! She does have a feed around 5 and stays up until 6am and has had a dreamfeed at 11pm.
  Mrs Bear: uff, sounds terrible! I moan because she usually starts making noises and moving around at about 2am for half an hour or so but I put her dummy in and she drifts back off. Must be awful to have to do that from 3am onwards! I'll be shutting up now about my woes!
  We'll get there ladies... let's keep each other updated if anything works!
  xxxx

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• Mitxi

  Jul 29, 2010 5:13AM

  Corky's Wife: Showing my ignorance.. what's a slumber bear? Bless him, he must love his mummy very much
  xxxx

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• 2littleboys

  Jul 29, 2010 6:24AM

  Hi ladies. Hope you are all well. I have missed not being on here, just been so busy.
  
  We have nightmare afternoons mitxi but really good nights & mornings (touch wood). It will probably all go wrong next week though as we are going away for a week. Anyway this is what we do, hope it helps. Its sort of a military operation but its working:
  
  - Feed is due at 7.30pm but I give him half at 6.50-7pm then bath.
  - After bath i give him a massge with olive oil & take him into our room in the dark, night light on only & he has the rest of his milk.
  - In his basket by 7.40pm
  - He settles straight away with dummy in his mouth. We also have a slumber bear, its an absolute god send. Google Prince Lionheart slumber bear. It plays differnt sounds to help a baby settle. Ellis loves the heart sound which is meant to sound like what they would hear in the womb. I also read him a story ( difficult with night light!). So with the mixture of dummy, slummber bear & my voice he is asleep but 8.10pm at the latest.
  - Dream feed at 11pm
  - He wakes for feed at 4ish. Back to sleep with dummy & slumber bear playing.
  - I then wake him up at 7.30am to start the day. Feed him straight away.
  - Then cuddles, wash & dressed followed by tummy time on his play mat.
  - The in his cot in his room i put him down at 8.50am & he is asleep by 9.05. I leave him to sleep until 11am.
  
  I would advise all to invest in a slumber bear, it was the best ??30 I have ever spent, haha.
  
  I just need to sort the afternoons now as he gets over tried by being so nosey when we are out & about.
  
  Hope it gets easier Mitxi xxx
  
  [Modified by: babymay2010 on July 29, 2010 11:25 AM]
  
  
  
  [Modified by: babymay2010 on July 29, 2010 11:26 AM]
  
  

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• kayssis

  Jul 29, 2010 7:16AM

  I looked at those slumber bears and wondered if they were worth it...something to consider. The last few nights ryans started gettif unsettled and noisy around 2am and 4.30am he's still asleep so he's sleeping through but I'm not! Know it's bad but I've just been giving him his dummy which quietens him back down enough for me to go back to sleep

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• foxinsocksandbump2

  Jul 29, 2010 7:35AM

  I have been very lucky with Sam's sleeping but I think a small part of it might be that I have followed the advice of the Baby Whisperer. At this age the shouldn't be awake for more than about 90 min at a time in the day. So he will wake and feed (half an hour) then have play time and after about an hour and 15 min I will pick him up, give him the dummy wrap, him in a blanket and shush him until he is sleepy (couple of min) and then put him down. Sometimes he goes to sleep easily on his own and sometimes I have to pick him up once or twice. He has two sleeps in the morning of about 45 min and then a long sleep in the afternoon of about 2 and a half to three hours. Wakes up at about 5pm. Feed then bath then cuddles and then goes to sleep about about 6:30/7pm. So in the day he is never awake for more than 1.5 to 2 hours at a time. He has a dream feed at 10/11pm and then wakes for a feed at 6am and sleeps until about 8:30am when he has another feed.
  
  So our day is structured by the EASY routine (eat/activity/sleep/you time) but I am baby let in terms of how long he sleeps for. But he is pretty predicable now.
  
  Last week we had three days in a row when we were out and about and in the car A LOT and all three nights he was a nightmare to get to sleep. One evening he was awake from 5-10pm and nothing could get him to sleep. Routine is KEY as far as I am concerned. I try and plan activities in the morning so that his long afternoon nap isn't disturbed.
  
  I can HIGHLY recommend the Baby Whisperer book.
  
  Good luck hun x
  Bryony & Sam (14+6)

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• miniday

  Jul 29, 2010 9:57AM

  HI Mitxi - I had the same with Freddie and now having followed these principles he now goes down at 7pm (maybe needs resettling once or twice!)
  
  He wakes at 6.30am and I get up with him - whereas before I would do everything in my power to get him to sleep longer so he would lie in!!!
  
  As foxinsocks says I never let him go longer than 90mins/2 hrs in the day without a sleep.
  
  I try and get him to have a good 2 hr lunchtime nap and then he is not as sleepy in the afternoons.
  
  Between 2.30 and 7pm he will only have one (sometimes two) power naps of 15mins. I bath at 6 - 6.30pm and massage his tummy as a wind down, he then feeds and has a quick cuddle and story and then he crashes. For us the key is the afternoon if he has to much sleep he will not go down at 7pm as he is not tired enough......
  
  we only cracked it this week and no once he is down at 7 I don't get him back up - it has meant earlier mornings though!!!! xxxx

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• apple-pie-73

  Jul 29, 2010 10:29AM

  I put lo to bed at 7/7.30pm every night and to start with she did fight in but after about a week she started to settle much easier - nowadays I only have to go into her maybe once or twice most nights just to stroke her cheek or set of her mobile again - I never let her get so worked up she cries as that would wake her up too much so in the early days I was in and out like a yo-yo! lol.
  
  I do find she gets really irritable around 6pm and so often it's a relief to do bath-time as she instantly calms down then - so I put it down to her getting over-tired at that time of day so bed time at 7/7,30pm is probably about right for her really.
  
  Sorry probably not helped at all lol - but might be worth trying earlier bedtime now and get her in the habit? Lo still wakes up once at night between 3-5am but goes straight back to sleep so I don't feel quite so sleep deprived by that xx
  

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• Mitxi

  Jul 29, 2010 11:33AM

  Thanks ladies for all your replies. From what I can see the only thing left to try for me then is an earlier night! We do have a routine during the day and LO never goes for longer than 1 and a half to 2 hours without a nap. She has an hour in the mornings, a long 2 or 3 hours at lunch and catnaps in the afternoon. I believe that afternoons are our problem because after waking at 4 or 5 o clock she rarely gets a proper sleep although I do put her down to try. No more than 10-20mins I guess so she goes around 5 hours with no real rest, but not for want of trying on my part! To put her to bed I give her half a bottle, bath, take her into my already darkened (and cooled! It's 35 degrees here) bedroom, put on some wave sounds I use to calm her and give her the rest of the bottle before laying her down. Then all hell breaks loose! lol
  So, as from tomorrow we'll be starting an earlier night routine to see if that helps. If not, then we can just deduce that she's a little madam (but I still love her).
  For those of you who have said you get LO up early, how do you keep them awake without them getting grumpy? As I mentioned, she won't stay up for longer than an hour at 5 or 6am and then sleeps until 10!!
  I'm sure an earlier morning might be key for us too
  xxx
  xxxx

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• foxinsocksandbump2

  Jul 29, 2010 12:01PM

  I have found that if Sam goes to sleep at about 8pm then he wakes at 8am... 9pm to 9 am... which would maybe explain why Corynn sleeps until 10am if she is only going down at 10am. Maybe getting her up at 8:30am might help?
  Bryony

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• Mitxi

  Jul 29, 2010 12:10PM

  I'll certainly be giving it a go. I'm hoping an earlier night means an earlier wake-up, although secretly I'll also be mourning a bit of a lay-in ;o)
  So tomorrow it's early to rise, early to bed for my little lady!
  I forgot to say, somebody bought me the Baby Whisperer and I did read a few chapters. Since then, I've been letting her put the patterns and it's pretty much as the baby whisperer says anyway and she has a pretty E.A.S.Y pattern. I did find the first chapter or two incredibly useful though for my first few weeks when I really had no clue at all what to do with a baby. It helped me to determine a basic pattern which we're still using and which she is comfortable with. Thanks again for all your ideas, much appreciated!
  xx

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• flutter-by

  Jul 29, 2010 12:16PM

  foxinsocks, With the easy routine d o you do the second cluster feed at night. We have got our bedtime routine really sorted and he wakes at 5 from nap, feeds until 5.30 plays untill 6.15 misses out on his nap, relaxes in bath, has massage feeds at 7.15 and in bed by 8. i havent been doing DF he wakes at 1 and 4 then 6.30 to start day! is it a problem i miss out a whole cycle of easy a the end of the day??? I didn't realise i was doing this routine until i read this thread!
  
  Many thanks,
  Flutterby

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• arlik

  Jul 29, 2010 2:50PM

  Hey mixti
  Can I ask does your lo always fall asleep a bit when being fed? And do you feed her and then bath her and then put her to sleep?
  Reason I ask is I was feeding Leo, he would be really tired after but I would then bath him which would really wake him up and then he didn't want to go to sleep! Solution I've cone up with is I make the bedtime bottle a bigger amount than usual. I feed him till he's happy, then he has a bath and I take him in the bedroom, making sure lights are off and curtains are closed and get him ready for bed. I then feed him some more. I've found this way helps as the feeding right before bed makes him sleepy and by splitting the bottle into 2 sessions he ends up having more than normal which sees him through the night. I start the process at 6.30and by 7.30 he is fast asleep. Whacked our from the bath and so much milk!!! He now sleeps through until 6am. I've always made surei put him down when he's awake too. I don't rock him to sleep or anything. I kiss him goodnight and leave the room. This was hard work to begin with as had to keep going back in but now he goes straight to sleep. I'm very lucky he's taken to it so quickly though
  Hope u have luck with the earlier bedtime x

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• 2littleboys

  Jul 29, 2010 3:51PM

  Im pleased you said that the baby whisperer works FIS, I brought the book last week & plan on reading it next week whilst we are away. Hopefully it will give me some helpful hints to stop our crazy afternoon tears.
  
  Thats a really good idea arlik, I spilt the bottle pre & post bath like you do but I didnt think to put more in it. I will try this soon & see if its gets him through the night xxx

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• Mitxi

  Jul 30, 2010 3:42AM

  Arlik, that's a really good idea, I'll be trying that later on too! She does get sleepy on some bottles but not on others. But usually she does after her bath and bottle.
  
  Well ladies, last night I managed to get her sleeping around 7pm even though I was out and about. She woke up about 9pm for a feed then refused to go back down until around 10.15pm but she wasn't as hysterical as usual and just needed a small cuddle. Then I had to keep coming back to her to give her a dummy because I could see her moving around a lot on the monitor but not yet crying. Then she had a feed at 4.30am (so 7.5 hours after last feed), and this morning we both got up at 8.30! She's just drifting off now at 10am nearly for a nap. Feels good! Hopefully this means tonight she'll go down between 7 and 8pm without problems. Tonight I'll start the night routine at around 7 I think....
  Thanks for your wonderful ideas and reading my woes!! I'll keep you posted tomorrow
  xx

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• Mitxi

  Jul 30, 2010 3:44AM

  oh, and Arlik, I agree about rocking to sleep etc. We've never done that with Corynn either and I think my problems would be much worse if we had 'cos she's a stubborn little madam hehe. She's a proper Taurus!
  I'd love her to be more cuddly to be honest but she really hates being held most of the time! x

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