Just when you think you're getting somewhere

Eyper · Jul 29, 2010 5:23AM

someone goes and says something stupid!

FIL said to hubby yesterday that when we visited Sophie seemed really hungry and we should consider topping her up with a bottle.

I really struggled with bf at first, and really didn't enjoy it, but persevered. Over the last couple of weeks I've started feeling more confident about it all as I've realised Sophie is content (I love the smiles and coos she gives me after she's finished) and she's been putting on good weight, so I'm happy I'm doing the right thing for her.

I now feel like I'm back to square one and I'm really paranoid that the inlaws think I'm a rubbish mother. They're not the sort to make judgements or suggestions unless they really mean it (we're lucky because neither they or my parents have interfered at all and have only previously offered advice when we've asked for it). People really don't think before they speak do they?!

squiggle2010 · Jul 28, 2010 9:09AM

No people don't think but I don't think you FIL said it intentionally to hurt. I honestly won't worry because you said yourself LO is happy and gaining weight. She is most likely having a growth spurt which is making her hungrier. You are doing so well bf for so long so don't let someone who doesn't understand or even know your baby as well as you do make you feel bad. Xx

miniday · Jul 28, 2010 2:47PM

Grrrr that has made me really angry. You do not need to top her up!!!! If she is "really" hungry she will feed and feed and feed to boost your suppy - mother nature at its best!!!!

Well done you, I am exclusively breastfeeding too and its bloody hard work even without people making stupid comments!!!

My mum said to me yesterday I should start to give Freddie a bottle! - we've tried and he won't take one - fact! They should all butt out!

xx

foxinsocksandbump2 · Jul 28, 2010 3:40PM

I think people are unaware of how much these kind of comments can hurt and frustrate us. Esp people who haven't breastfed (like FIL ha ha!). My MIL who I get on with well has said a couple of times "Oh he is such a big baby you should be giving him a top up bottle". WHY would I need to do that??? clearly he is thriving on my milk as he is healthy and happy and putting on plenty of weight. Why would i need to top him up??? Beside he HATES formula.

Eyper · Jul 29, 2010 3:52AM

Thanks ladies. I feel better today, hubby last night said he was annoyed when people kept "sticking their oar in", so I think it annoyed him as much.

I know that FIL didn't mean to upset me, he was just trying to be helpful, but if he says it again when we see him at the weekend I'll mention the good weight gain etc!

Even though they had 6 children I think they don't appreciate that bf babies have completely different feeding patterns to ff babies.

NurseCol · Jul 29, 2010 5:14AM

We have had exactly the same! Its so irritating when you've worked so hard to breastfeed and you're still receiving 'advice'!!

I think some people of the older generation just don't get breastfeeding! My Mum said that when she had children, it was always presumed you would be bottle feeding and she had a lot of criticism for breastfeeding us all (and I'm a twin ... respect to my Mum!!).

As you say, he probably thought it was helpful advice .... bring the red book and show him her weight gain next time! x

Eyper · Jul 29, 2010 5:23AM

Corky's Wife - my mum had exactly the same criticism as your mum. They even took me from her and gave me two bottles in the maternity unit until she stamped her feet. They then said we weren't gaining weight quick enough and then several months later said it was too fast. My mum also had to express all the time for my sister who was 11 weeks early when she was in SCBU, really don't know how she did it! Respect to your mum for feeding twins, feeding one is hard enough, but two?!

Just when you think you're getting somewhere

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