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How are your OH's coping?

Replies

  • Hi Gem,

    How did you get on at the docs? I can only imagine after seing you go through what you did it has affected ur OH. In time he will be able to think about it less and focus more on you & ur little bundle of joy. Its must be hard for our OHs and I think really they must get the baby blues aswell, its a traumatic time for all 3 of us combined with sleep deprivation. I am no good to talk to as my OH has been brilliant but.... there are so many things that shocked him and disturbed him that he didnt know about during the birth as he never came to Anti Natal class with me, which if he had would have made things a lot easier. Also OH is having really bad nightmares at the moment (at least he's getting more sleep than me!! ZZzzz!)

    I think the best thing you can do is get him to open up and keep talking about it and get it off his chest.

    Big hug,

    Carly xx
  • It does sound like he was affected by your birth hon. If he felt out of control then, maybe he has carried that over a little to where you now both have a new baby that you are working out how to care for.

    For the first few days with Brody is was quite tough, especiall day 2 and 3 when it was rough as he had terrible terrible trapped wind and nothing we did seemed to soothe him or get rid of it. Thankfully my mum is here and she lets us get on with it but when it gets real tough she asks if we want her help which we have gladly accepted.

    Things definately get better each day. But if he is anxious then maybe you need to talk about it to him. Have you discussed your birth at all together?

    xx
  • There is no need to rush Gem so do take it one day at a time like you say. I know you were the one going through the pain, but it is distressing in another way for someone who loves you so much stand by and see it. Im glad you are both getting some help now. It will become easier with time.
    And don't worry if you dont think he is bonding just yet - it will happen.

    xx
  • I'm so glad to read that the docs have given you both some kind of advice and help and that your OH has something he can start to do about his PTSD. Just wanted to send you a hug, I really hope things start to improve soon. I think, very often, the men are forgotten in situations such as this because everyone focuses on the woman, as she's given birth. It's really good that you've stayed right on top of things and got your OH to the doc to sort things out. I second what Sim says - the bonding will happen, don't worry! x x x

    Em + Jak x x x
  • Gem im sorry to hear about you oh, im glad to hear though that the doctors are doing something to help with the stress. He must have been really knocked for 6 after the birth. Taking it one day at a time will help him cope better and he will start to get used to it all, I think a lot of people can forget that this can be just as stressful for men because for a lot of them they feel completly hopeless watching their wives and partners go through that pain and not being able to do anything, my hubby felt the same but I just told him that he was the perfect partner just by being there and holding my hand through it all. Baby wise hubby has been fantastic, especially after the birth I had real trouble with my stitches and couldnt sit up or feed the baby properly and he took over for me. Hopefully now that your hubby knows whats going on he can start to feel better and relax a lot more xxxxxxxx
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