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G/C FAO Sim75

Hello, don't think we've ever 'spoken' before, so hope you don't mind me gc from BIJ to ask a question? I think I read that you used 'sleep training' to get your lo to sleep during the day? I have recently started putting my lo down in her cot during the day, and used pupd to do so, as she would only sleep on me! The problem I'm having is that she won't sleep longer than 40 minutes at a time, which would be fine if she wasn't waking up tired. I was wondering if you had any ideas how I could get her past the 40 minute mark so that she has decent sleep? Any help would be gratefully appreciated. Sorry if I have the wrong person, please disregard this. Thanks, Vicki & Poppy, 20 weeks xx

Replies

  • Heya

    Black out blinds can help a bit if you are not already using them. The trick that I managed in order to get little one sleeping past 40 minutes (and you could time a watch by when she would wake) was to be in her room in the dark and pa/ssht her back to sleep before she properly awoke. I think I did this for several days in a row and then she started sleeping longer. Now she sleeps 2 hours every lunchtime.

    Hope that helps

    Sarah
  • Thanks Sarah. I did try the ssh/pat before she wakes, but only once! Strangely enough, this afternoon, she went down for a nap at 1:15pm, and didn't wake until 3:40pm! I don't know what I did differently, but was panicking & kept checking on her :lol: I heard her wake, moan, and roll over & go back to sleep!

    Have thought about the black-out blinds, but not sure that's the problem as she settles ok at bedtime, and doesn't wake when the sun comes up. May be worth a try though, thanks for your response, hope you have a lovely bank holiday week end xx
  • Hi Vicky

    Sorry not been on for a few days so only just seen this. Yep it was me that did the sleep training. I used the pupd but kind of went by instinct with the rest. I just found myself doing it one day after getting to the end of my tether with the 30-40 min naps and that he had forgotton how to sleep through. He was having 4 short naps during the day at the time - which was at 20 wks.

    By the way, the 40 mins is because 1 sleep cycle is 40mins (I only just recently realised this). So the aim is to get them to sleep for more than 1 sleep cycle.

    I will be honest up front, it was real tough to do it, but well worth the effort. Just make sure you have some support - even if at the end of the phone. I hadnt planned on doing it so didnt really line any up and ended up hitting a wall halfway through and calling hubby out of work before I did something I regretted.

    The approach I used for to let him have his morning and late afternoon half hour nap, but stretched the lunch time so he didnt leave the bedroom for 2 hours. I used pupd to put him back to sleep after waking within that 2 hour windown.

    Day 1 and 2 he only slept 1hr in total at lunch, but a fairly good start.

    Day 3, was a massive battle and it left me feeling quite broken. This was the hardest day to get through. At lunch he slept a half hour from 1230. The next 2.5hrs were spent with him getting so hysterical. In hindsight I probably should have given up at 230 but I was determined to get him to sleep because Im as stubborn as a mule! So my advice here would be to stick to your decided window and if she doesnt sleep more than the 40 mins any particular day and you reach the end of your window then leave it to tackle the next day. The night was awful too as he woke every half hour from 2am til the morning.

    Day 4 was like we'd gotten over the "hump". He still put up a fight to begin with for his lunch nap but he went down and slept well. Then he slept through that night 7pm to 7am with his 11pm dreamfeed!

    Day 5 he slept for 1.5hrs for his morning nap after realising how good this sleep thing is. And from thereon he slept well through the day.
    Now, nearly 2 months later (I will exclude the past 2 days because he has been a nightmare...teething i think!) he will sleep for 1-3hrs at lunch. Sometimes he does this in the morning instead. But as long as I get one long break in the day Im happy. And so is he. We also had him back sleeping through (except the past 2 nights arrrrrgh!!!)

    To put him to bed, I also later introduced a sound and light show in his cot and added that to his bedtime routine. I switch it on when putting him in his growbag, pick him up for a short cuddle, then put him down on his side and he usually puts himself off to sleep.

    I hope that explains it. If you decide to do it, be strong. You may, if like me, feel like you are getting nowhere but whatever you choose to do, persevere with it. Babies dont really like change so they will try to oppose it at first, but then succumb to it. The worst thing you can do is abort it and start all over. So expect 2 steps forward, 1 back! But hopefully Poppy will take to it like a dream!!!

    Let me know how you get on. Good luck image
  • Thanks for taking the time to reply, I will be referring to this for the next week or so I think! I was half way through saying I'd got her to go down for another nap this afternoon when she woke!! She was so close to going back off, but seemed to fight it and get more upset, so lots of pupd. We did stay upstairs for the 2 hours though, so it's a start.

    It took a week for her to get used to sleeping in her cot, so expecting kind of the same thing with this. I've chosen a week where we have little planned so that I can get it sorted. It's odd how I've grown balls of steel since being a mummy, although it's heart breaking when she gets upset...

    Oddly, when doing pupd, she gets to the stage where she wants to be put down & settles quicker, I just need her to send herself back to sleep too now :lol:

    Thanks once again, I hope your lo settles again for you soon, and will up-date you with progress (hopefully!) at the end of the week xx
  • It is heartbreaking when they get upset but always remember that you are the parent and you work out what's best for them. So once they are through that little bit of upset their life becomes so much better!

    Brody got to the stage where he just wanted to be put down with pupd - hence getting to a stage now where i just cuddle usually once and put him down and he goes off. He then moved on to settling himself which I guess was the next sleep milestone. So Poppy will hopefully do the same in no time once she realises how much better sleeping longer makes her feel. The more they sleep, the more they want to.

    You're off to a great start. Think of the end goal when it starts to get tough - you just be getting over that hump!

    My little man was a lot more settled last night, hubby took the shift all night so I could get some much needed rest. I feel normal again image
  • Glad you managed to get some rest, and feel normal again! As promised, although a little later, an update on us...

    I have persevered for the last week, and have remained in the room for 2 hours at lunch time naps. On saturday, she managed an hour at lunch time, and this morning, she's had 40minutes, and just gone back down again. I do think maybe she would have gone back off herself, and I did leave her before going up, but caved in and brought her down....bad mummy!

    We also had a bit of regression, in that she wasn't taking her late afternoon nap before bed for a couple of days, and becoming rather grouchy as a result. That seems to be back on track now though, fingers crossed!

    You're right when you say the more they sleep, the more they want to, so I'm hoping that she will sleep well this afternoon after 2 naps this morning!

    I do think that we're getting there (slowly), but not sure how much longer I can keep up the staying up there for 2hours in the afternoon without becoming a total recluse :lol:

    Thank you for your help & advice, it's great to have support from someone who has been there. Hopefully, I'll update again in another week to tell you that we have cracked it ;\) Hope you're still managing to get some sleep xx
  • You sound like you are doing a fab job. Just remember... it can be 2 steps forward, 1 step back! So don't lose heart. Halfway through when I was doing it I came on here because I was at breaking point. I was encouraged to keep going and I did. The worst thing I could have done was to stop. It's the hump!! You will get over it and you won't be a recluse for 2hrs every afternoon .. you will be able to do YOUR OWN thing!

    We've not had a great week with our little man. Every night has been pants for the past week. Bloody teeth!!! :x The old pupd is being given a big run in our household lately!!

    I look forward to your next update. Hope she sleeps well this afternoon. x
  • I hope things are going well for you. I just thought Id post a link to the PUPD section in the Baby Whisperer forum which is really helpful:

    http://www.babywhispererforums.com/index.php?board=31.0

    Im in there at the moment with the night wakings!!
  • Hey Sim, hope that this post finds you well & things have improved from a teething & night-time point? Thanks for the post to the baby whisperer forum, I have to admit, I haven't looked yet, but have book-marked it to look at soon ;\)

    Well, I would love to tell you that I've cracked it, and Poppy is sleeping longer than 45minutes at a time, but I would be lying :\( Despite perseverance and not leaving the room for 2hours in the afternoon, she still only manages 45mins-max! Sometimes, it can be as little as half an hour. Very occasionally, she will spoil me with an hour or longer, but that is rare. I really am at a loss as to what to do with my stubborn little madam :lol:

    I have to say, that her mood is very good lately & she is always full of smiles, so I may be trying to fix something that's not broken? I would love her to start sleeping longer during the day though, as I'm SO tired myself lately. We've found out that we are expecting our second in february
    imageimage so we are really excited about that image

    Thank you so much for your help with this, I'm not really sure which direction to go in now, whether to carry on with the 2 hour thing at lunch time, or just accept that she has short naps :\?

    Really hope that things have improved for you, and your persistence with pupd has paid off! Maybe it's a sex thing, they always say that men need training by a good woman, maybe your little man is starting early as he means to go on :lol:

    Take care, Vicki xx
  • they always say that men need training by a good woman, maybe your little man is starting early as he means to go on

    Oh I like that!

    Well congratulations on your new pregnancy! That's great news. And I can understand the tiredness at the mo as I too am expecting my 2nd - in Jan. I feel like Ive had a constant hangover every day for the past week after little sleep at night and the exhaustion so I empathise!

    Im sorry to hear that Poppy hasnt started to nap longer as a result of the PUPD. Maybe it's not the right thing for her. :cry: If only there was something that worked for ALL babies to make our job easier!! So personally, I wouldnt persevere with it, and would try something else for your own sake to get a break, or, like you say don't fix it if it isnt broken for her. What Ive learnt the past 2 months is that you think they are set in one way, and then they throw a curve ball! I had Brody sleeping really well until teething started (well for no. 3 &4 anyway, which STILL havent cut through after 2 wks!) Also, when they hit 6 months they go through another change and their sleep habits can change again anyway. Ive had to modify my technique with him after learning that at 6months the PUPD needs to lose the PU part, and Ive finally cracked him again with it. So we are getting there. But the stress of it all isnt good when you are carrying another lo. I was at breaking point last week!! :x

    So my point is, if you find something else that works, great. Otherwise, hold out and relieve yourself of the stress of trying to enforce change as Im sure she will turn a corner on her own soon enough and surprise you. I think sometimes the hardest thing can be our own expectations. GUILTY here!! Sometimes we need to lower them and we can be pleasantly surprised as a result.

  • Hey Sim, how are things going with Brody now? Hope those teeth have come through & you're managing to get more sleep? Congratulations on expecting your second too! Are you due in January? It's a good month to have a baby, lol.

    You're right about not needing the extra stress, especially when you're carrying. Also, I feel better for not stressing about how long she's sleeping for now too. Expectations have definitely been lowered, and I think we're both better for it image

    Pops is now napping anywhere from half an hour to an hour at a time, three times a day. It can be a bit hit & miss though. I have given up with the pupd as we weren't getting anywhere, but she seems happy enough in herself (most of the time!) on this amount of sleep. She is also sleeping well at night again too.

    The only thing that we have done differently of late is to bring her bedtime forward by about half an hour, as she was taking her afternoon nap around 3pm then being really tired and grouchy around bath time. So maybe this has helped a little?xx
  • Hey Sim, how are things going with Brody now? Hope those teeth have come through & you're managing to get more sleep? Congratulations on expecting your second too! Are you due in January? It's a good month to have a baby, lol.

    You're right about not needing the extra stress, especially when you're carrying. Also, I feel better for not stressing about how long she's sleeping for now too. Expectations have definitely been lowered, and I think we're both better for it image

    Pops is now napping anywhere from half an hour to an hour at a time, three times a day. It can be a bit hit & miss though. I have given up with the pupd as we weren't getting anywhere, but she seems happy enough in herself (most of the time!) on this amount of sleep. She is also sleeping well at night again too.

    The only thing that we have done differently of late is to bring her bedtime forward by about half an hour, as she was taking her afternoon nap around 3pm then being really tired and grouchy around bath time. So maybe this has helped a little?xx
  • I think the most important thing can be them sleeping well in the night and that they are happy. Poppy seems to be so she must be fine getting by on the naps she takes in the day. Particularly if you've brought her bedtime forward after noticing she gets grumpy come bath time. At 5 months she would be on 2.25 - 2.5hrs awake time. So just keep reading her queues and go with it! image

    Brody has been doing so much better. Teeth have settled and I got him back sleeping through the night again. Only yesterday his sleep routine was messed up in the day and we paid for it last night :cry: So getting him back on track today!


    Im hoping Jan is a good month for the next one. Only Im in sydney now so it will be bang on right in the middle of a very hot summer! A bit different to the last time being in the middle of winter over in London! x
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