Need some advice

Mini_Moo · Sep 3, 2010 7:45AM

Hey Ladies,

How are you all?

So as you all know Im expecting #2 and am 25 weeks today. I've never actually managed a return to work after maternity with Z due to different health probs. I was due back May 5th but suffered with Hyperemesis and was in and out of hospital again so got signed off and then because I fell pg so quick I started to suffer with SPD and so continued to be signed off. Im signed off until im 26+5 and work have asked me to take my 31 days holiday straight away which takes me up until 33 weeks pg they then want me to go straight into maternity leave.
Im really good friends with my boss so am in a right dilemma. On one hand I understand why they are asking me to do it as they don't see the point for me to potentially come back for like 6 weeks only to then leave again. However there is a good chance I could be signed off again when the last cert ends.
They can't actually force me into maternity until 36 weeks and I really don't want to take maternity leave until as late as possible so that I can spend as long as poss with bubs but then I realise this makes me look like im using the system which makes me feel really guilty. Im happy to go back to work at 26+5 if the doc is happy to sign me as ok to go back but work are saying whats the point.
I had a massive convo with them this afternoon and somehow ended up agreeing with them so they think im gonna go on maternity from 33 weeks.
What a mess

Its a really big firm and they employ something like 4000 people in just the office i work in so im just a number in the big scheme of things but I feel terrible as my boss has been so good to me and i get on really well with him currently and don't want to jeopardise my relationship.

HELP?!!!!

mummabear-72331 · Aug 13, 2010 7:45PM

Before I left I worked for a big corporate bank, and several before that. What I have learnt over the years is TAKE CARE OF YOU!! While you may have a good relationship with your current boss, who is to say he would remain your boss by the time you went back? Moreso, who is to say he has any say in your return to work situation. My guess is that he wouldnt have much influence at all as particularly with something like maternity, HR drive it all the way with their rules and regulations. Over the years Ive seen many people "managed out" of their jobs and it's not nice, but it's business. It took me a while to realise it, and being burnt on a few occasions myself, that no matter how loyal you are they can easily swing back and sting you in an instant. So my advice would be to look after yourself. If you arent comfortable with being pushed into the decision of going on maternity at 33 wks and feel you would be better off to go back in for 6 wks then have another meeting with them, or email them (so it's in writing) that you have thought about it some more and have decided the best option for you is to go back for those 6 wks and start maternity later. They cannot force you to do anything, though they will probably try ! But it's not legal for them to do so and they would have to tread very carefully. Know your rights.
So much could change by the time you do go back and you dont want to kick yourself if you were loyal to them and agree to their terms when they dont suit you, only to go back and find out things arent the way they used to be anyway. Sorry if this sounds a bit pessimistic, Ive just seen it so much and been victim to it myself (not maternity related) to know better to remove any emotion from such a decision and go with what your head is telling you. It's "just business" to them, so treat your decision as "just business" too. Good luck with your decision hon. I know it's hard but you are well within your right to refuse their offer.
xx

Dylansmummy-17577 · Aug 14, 2010 5:09AM

I agree with mummabear look after YOU and your family.

You will only get that time with bubs once you want it to be as long as possible and it will be much more important than your relationship with your boss.

Its not going to be easy for you hun and I dont envy you but personally I wouldn't be taking my mat leave till as late as possible. Good luck with your decision and I hope your feeling better

xxxx

summer_76 · Aug 14, 2010 4:01PM

er i dont think you cant take mat leave that early unless bubs arrives. Go on sick leave even if it is stat mat pay. I never used the system but have leanrt that my company dont give an arse about me so when i fall agian (hopefully soon ) i will have not an ounce of guilt x

Ps congrats on reaching 25 weeks fab fab fab news x

Mini_Moo · Aug 17, 2010 6:02AM

ARRRRGGGGHHHHH

This is now stressing me out so much.

My boss has just called and reiterated what was said before. They are saying there is no point me coming back to work only too leave again really soon and that I should now stay off and make sure me and bubs are all well. (I've got high BP and some SPD and can hardly move some days)
Im seeing the doc again on Monday and fully expect he will now sign me off for the duration of the pregnancy. Work however have initiated my holiday to start and then for my maternity to start when im 33 weeks. OMG
What do I do? Im trying really hard to keep a good relationship with them so that I don't get managed out of my job as big companies have a habit of doing. If the doc signs me off on Monday will that force them to push back my maternity?
I said I was seeing the doc on Mon too which the response was - Luckily you don't have to ask for a sick note because its all sorted right?? Errrrr

OMG OMG OMG $:\$ ?

[Modified by: Mini Moo on August 17, 2010 11:04 AM]

mummabear-72331 · Aug 17, 2010 6:45AM

I would phone the citizens advice bureau and seek their opinion. By what you have said they are voicing their OPINION by saying there is no point you coming in. Sounds a little bullish to me :evil: and Im pretty sure your legal right is to go back to work if it's your choice. So get a legal opinion - I think you can get some advice over the phone from the CAB. I would then keep all communication in writing with your work as it's less stressful than a face-to-face or phone conversation and keep it strictly business, no emotion, based on the legal facts. If they were to try to manage you out they would have to tread VERY carefully with you being on maternity!! so unless they did it with your agreement and a golden handshake, you could quite easily take them on discrimination. Most big companies wouldnt touch you with a barge pole due to their being an association with maternity. My previous company had a massive law suit regarding this and it was splashed all over the media a few years back - not good publicity at all.

Im so sorry you are going through this. It isnt fair but unfortunately it's not uncommon. Keep us posted hon.

Ems101 · Aug 17, 2010 1:44PM

Read your mat policy. I think ours say that if you are ill due to your pregnancy after week 28, you start your mat leave early... maybe its the same for you?

Good luck honey.

Em x

Mini_Moo · Sep 1, 2010 10:36AM

Hey Ladies,

Well I am signed off by the docs until 32 weeks. Work have called to advise they are forcing my Mat leave at 36 weeks which they are perfectly entitled to do. I am however losing all my holiday

I suppose I cant have everything. Im hoping I have a planned section at 38 weeks so will be with bubs until he is 5 and half months old.

The whole thing is so stressful. I hate feeling like im letting people down.

xxx

mummabear-72331 · Sep 3, 2010 7:45AM

Who do you feel like you are letting down? Your work? If so, please dont! Remind yourself that it's a big company. As my old boss used to say, no one is indispensable in a big company. So dont feel you owe them anything or are letting anyone down. They could very well let you down in an instant, which they've already done!
Well Im glad at least that your mat leave is delayed for a few weeks. It's not perfect but like you say you will prob have a planned c-s at 38wks so you are only talking 2 weeks difference. Although there is the holidays you are now losing.

Are they including your holidays before you go on mat leave then? I thought it was policy that you accrue holidays while ON maternity leave - so won't you at least accrue some holiday for the 6 months you are off on mat leave?

Need some advice

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