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Always look on the bright side of life :D

As many of you know I struggled with severe pain in my left shoulder from about 21 weeks towards the end of my pregnancy my arm stopped working suddenly. I went back and forth to the docs and was told several things mainly that its muscular and that id trapped a nerve.

After Dylan was born I went to the docs they referred me to a neurologist and on 23rd I had a scan, gp rang this am wanting to urgently discuss the results, they did a home visit. I have a lump in my shoulder that is compressing some spinal nerves causing the issues.

They have said they dont know what it is but I have to have an urgent scan with contrast to determine what it is, but with my history its possible the cancer has returned.

I just know and its been written all over my hubbys face all day, its back I thought 3 years since my op and beating the odds to have my baby boy despite all the intense treatment I could be normal again, now im looking at tests and treatment for something they now wont be able to cure. Its not fair I want to see my little boy grow up, give him a brother or sister and grow old with my hubby is it too much to ask?! I dont want to go through this again and I cant tell my mum until I get a definite diagnosis as with my dad so ill I think this may kill her :cry:

I just needed to write it down, I know right now I dont know for certain but what else causes a lump in your shoulder, everythings moving so fast and I just want to get off this rollercoaster :\(

[Modified by: dylansmummy on 11 January 2010 17:16:16 ]


  • oh Em, Im really sorry to hear this. I dont know anything about oncology really, but try and keep some hope, it could be somthing else, a cyst or something. If it is cancer, you have such a lot to fight for and as you say you've beaten the odds before, so you'll do it again.

    Do you have a scan date yet?

    Please feel free to use the forum for support whne you need it.

    Hugs Em x
  • Hi

    I'm so sorry you are having to go through this after the joy of your beautiful baby, I know its easy to look on the black side especially with the things you have gone through in the past but it may be something harmless and only the scan can give you a definite diagnosis. Have they given you a date for your scan yet ?
    Please look after yourself and if you need any support or to just sound off about anything we are always here to listen.

  • My scan will be later this week or early next the neurology department are going to be in touch apparently.

    Thank you ladies for you support I just want to cry I look at everything ive achieved since last time and so dont want to lose it!
  • Im sorry to hear your going through all this must be horrible for you. Try and think positive as hard as that is. xxx
  • oh my goodness - i am so sorry you are going through this. Please try and focus on your wonderful family and we will all hope and pray that your fears are not so.

    hugs to you and your family x x x
  • Oh sweetheart..Im so sorry your first scan has revealed a lump. We all knew that was giving you lots of grief in the latter half of your pregnancy but I didn't expect you to find this. Try to stay positive until your next scan though honey. It may not be the cancer returning, or it could well be a lump that is benign and it can be removed quite easily. I understand you being worried but jump off that speeding rollercoaster. You needn't be on it. Take one day at a time and just wait for your scan to know what you are dealing with. Try not to worry that it is something that cannot be treated or cured. Like the girls have said, you have beaten this before so if it is the cancer returning it doesnt mean you cant beat it again! So focus on seeing little Dylan growing up, his 1st birthday, his first day of school, his graduation, 18th birthday, his wedding. And giving him a brother and sister - or both! - to share in all the family stuff. All those things you can be a part of and share it with your hubby growing old together. You are a fighter so dont give up hope now. That's not you.

    We are all here for you love so use us for what ever you need leading up to your scan and after. I hope you get a date this week to put your mind at rest. The not knowing what it is can be a lot worse.

    Big hugs to you honey.
  • Hi Em,

    I don't really know what to say other than I'm sorry that you have been dealt this news - as hard as it is and as easy as it is for me to say please try to remain positive as nothing is certain until your scan - and even if that shows the worse - you have beaten it once and now you have even more reason to beat it again - and I'm sure you would!

    We are all hear to listen and support - big hugs xx

  • Thank you ladies you've made me cry more wih you being so nice!

    Sim your right the waitings worse, I felt awful waiting for the scan had managed to forget about it over xmas but was woken by the docs this morning and my positivity is now gone :cry:

    I will be better tomorrow its another day, just hope im not woken by hospital!
  • Thank you ladies you've made me cry more wih you being so nice!

    Sim your right the waitings worse, I felt awful waiting for the scan had managed to forget about it over xmas but was woken by the docs this morning and my positivity is now gone :cry:

    I will be better tomorrow its another day, just hope im not woken by hospital!
  • Oh honey I've just seen this. I can't add anymore than the other fab advice you've been given by the other girls. Just wanted to send you a big hug, it must be so hard to stay positive, but you can definitely do it! You've achieved so much, you've made a whole new life against the odds with the man you love. Focus on your beautiful boy, don't dwell on negatives that might not happen. Massive hugs sweetheart x x x

    Em + Jak x x x
  • Sorry to G/C but just wanted to wish you luck and I am hoping it is good news for you xx
  • wishing you good news Em.. Here's hoping its something simple.! x
  • I haven't been on here for a couple of days and am gutted to read your post. I didn't realise the extent of what you have been through in the past, so I can only imagine how worried you must be and can understand that you are thinking the worst.

    Hopefully you will have your appointment now and the quicker that is the better and then at least you will know. After that, like Sim said (I think she should be a counsellor coz she gives fab advice) just take one day at a time.

    Keep us updated hun. I am thinking of you xx

    Nici xxx
  • I'm keeping you in my prayers.
    Like the others have said, don't panic, wait and see what your scan results are. I have a friend you recovered from cancer twice, so if the news is the worst it doesn't have to be the worst if you see what i mean.

    take care

  • Thank you to all your ladies for your support, feel better today no leaking as my lovely hubby puts it image

    Just been enjoying my boy hopefully scan date will come through soon and then I can get it over with cant say im looking forward to being in an MRI machine again bloody noisy things they are!

    Will keep you all updated thank you all for your support

    x x x x
  • Oh Em, I've just seen this & I am so sorry you're facing this. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I really hope you have positive news following your scan - you are strong & I really do hope you get good news.

    Thinking of you hon,
  • Em - I'm sending you a massive hug, a big kiss and a ton of postivie vibes.
    We're here for you.

    Laura & Edward
  • Em - All the other girls have said it so well, but am wishing you all the best. I really hope that its positive news for you and that you don't have to wait to long. Hubby sounds fab, he and little Dylan will have to make sure mummy's ok with lots of hugs.
  • I hope it turns out to be okay - I cant imagine how scary it must be for you. Just wanted to send you hugs
  • Thinking of you hun and hoping all's well.

    Can't be easy to stay strong with all this going on but I'm sure those big smiles from your gorgeous Dylan are helping

    Sending hugs

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