Archived Birth Clubs
My baby was born in Nov 09
Always look on the bright side of life :D
Jan 5, 2010 6:00AM
Gosh I'm sat here sobbing reading your news and am totally lost for words. As much as it must seem so difficult right now there is still a chance that it could be a lymphoma no matter how unlikely it still isn't 100% definite that it is incurable - so there is still hope. Gosh Em I'm really crap at knowing what to say in these situations but I am thinking of you and am here whenever you need to chat just like all the other ladies, big hugs xxx
Jan 5, 2010 6:19AM
oh hun im so sorry to hear your news we are all ere for you x x x
Jan 5, 2010 9:16AM
I read this during my 4am feed and have been thonking what to write to you since..... its just so cruel ad awful Em. I am thinking of you from the bottom of my heart. We are all here for you hun.
You are a very positive woman & I am praying for you that there will be a positive curable outcome for you Em.
My thoughts are with you and your family, big hugs xxxxx
Jan 5, 2010 10:52AM
Oh god, couldn't get on here yesterday and I am gutted to read your news. I am so sorry.
I am like the other girls in that I dont know what else to say apart from take each day at a time and fight whatever is thrown at you. You can do it.
Sending big big hugs your way.
Nici and Sophie xxx
Jan 5, 2010 10:53AM
My thoughts are with you. Sending you all the PMA I can muster.
Sam & Isobel
Jan 5, 2010 12:58PM
I have just read your posts sobbing my heart out & I am so sorry to hear your news. What a bloody cruel words we live in, its always the good people that get sh*t thrown at them but you are a positive lady & you have a wonderful family & husband & gorgeous little boy that will help you through this fight & they will get you through it.
As the other ladies have said we are all hear for you, virtual or not we are all friends & are always here with an open ear.
Stacey & Jack
Jan 5, 2010 1:28PM
Oh my love, I too am in tears at your news. I cant believe it.
Though does the gp have enough info to make these assumptions (can I call them that?) before your scan and seeing your consultant? Also, if it were a recurrence, then why would this be incurable - only if its the same as what you beat before then whats stopping you from beating it again?
You have proven you are a fighter. You can fight what ever battle is coming your way. And we are all here for you sweetheart. Whenever you need us.
Lots of luv and hugs
Jan 5, 2010 2:08PM
Thank you for all your messages they have made me cry (in a nice way)
Today I am doing better than last night, this thing will not beat me, curable or not it is not winning I will not let it turn me into a depressed, negative moping wreck, it didnt last time and they didnt know if they could cure me then and it wont do this time. I will have bad days but when your house is filled with as much love as mine is its impossible to be miserable regardless of the circumstances!
Sim the reason it is incurable is I was told on diagnosis if it came back within 2 years it would be incurable now were slightly over that but its a cancer they know more or less nothing about and so treatment options are limited if they didnt kill it first time its very unlikely they will this and thats if its only in my neck and not elsewhere and since its in the old treatment field I may not be able to have radiotherapy (main cure for this type) again. Dont get me wrong I will fight and fight hard regardless of prognosis I promised my husband and little boy that much. If its incurable (and as I say they werent sure till they tried last time that it was) if I get a few more years like the last 3 since my last diagnosis I will be happy.
Nothing will shake the pain of the high possibility of not seeing my little boy grow up and even worse him not even remembering me and making the most amazing human being I have ever met a widow and single dad before hes 30. But im trying to focus on today and not think of all the things I may miss, helps to get myself ready for the fight.
Im very greatful to you all, people I have never met for wishing me well, thinking of me and offering such great support
Em x x x
Jan 5, 2010 3:32PM
It just breaks my heart reading this. You are such an amazing young woman and your positive outlook and fighting spirit counts for so much in your battle with whatever you are faced with. So dont lose that as it will take you far (and yes you are allowed bad days!!)
We started a video diary when we were pregnant and included the birth and the weeks after and we are still carrying it on. This is for Brody when he is older. Are you doing anything like that for Dylan? I believe you will fight this Em so you will be around for many years to come, but at the same time it is a lovely thing to capture the memories on film to look back on. Just a thought .. he will then be able to remember this time when you brought him into your lives. Its also a nice way to capture your thoughts and feelings, and their developments.
Jan 5, 2010 4:38PM
Sim ive started taking more photos and have started a baby book religiously from when it was given as a gift when he was 6 days old. If it comes to it ill write him letters for important days of his life that I wont be there for and I might start writing a diary most importantly so he knows (even if I am here and im yelling at him for waking me up on way in from pub at 3am when hes 18! :lol
just how much I love him, wanted him and how I absolutely adore his daddy and abit about our relationship etc. Or better still print out some of these posts, including our overdue one before due in November goes so he knows how desperate I was for him to come and meet us
Everyone says the same about being positive, strong and a fighter but to me its just me, I dont feel like im doing anything different to what anyone else in the same situation would. Its odd as heartbreaking as some of my thoughts are and as horrendous as the situation is I feel lucky, ive been with my hubby over 7 years and I have never been so happy laughed so much or felt as loved and loved anyone as much as I have in that time, we have built a wonderful home have a brilliant dog and this year a person that is half me and half him came into the world I watch him change every day and love him so much. I may not live to be a pensioner but I have had more joy in my life than some get in 70+ years and you cant help feeling blessed with that!
Jan 5, 2010 5:46PM
Can I just say what a fantasic person you are xxxxx
That last post was really beautiful, I know you dont feel any different but you are strong and so positive, I have seen people crumble when they are told news like this and I have seen fighters and you are one of them xxxxx
I am sure Dylan knows what a fantastic mummy he has xxx
Jan 5, 2010 7:28PM
You are definitely a fighter, I can't say how much I admire you I coudn't put it into words if I tried! Even if you have moments when you don't think you are, you're so immensely positive and that will count for a lot in how you tackle this. I know you will, but get a second opinion on anything the docs say, just to make sure you have all the info. We're thinking of you honey.
Em + Jak x x x
Jan 6, 2010 4:12PM
So sorry to hear your news. Don't get on much and am amazed at what's happening for you reading through this. Hope that things are curable and just want to repeat what everyone else has said. My prayers for you and your family. x
Jan 6, 2010 4:47PM
is it too corny to say that i can actually feel yourstrengh whilst reading your posts.
You are an incredible woman and an incredible mother - and i agree with emily that i class you as a true friend even if it is cyber - and friends support each other so always remember that we will always support you.
a big hug to you, hubby and of course your gorg little man x x
Jan 6, 2010 5:41PM
Thank you again ladies
I try to be strong for Dylan, I want to enjoy him never thought id get to have him and so every minute with him is precious (even when he insists of vomitting all over me :lol
I love this website your all amazing people and I know I can vent on here when I need to and I class all of you as friends.
Much love and hugs to you and your bubbas
Em x x x x
Jan 6, 2010 6:12PM
A big teary bear hug from me too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jan 8, 2010 7:47AM
Biopsy is Monday combined with a CT scan of my neck and chest. I should hopefully be home Monday night, as long as it all goes well. So there just going to do this to confirm what I know is the inevitable.
Results possibly week after, the oncology team are discussing me on Tuesday but they cant do anything without the biopsy results but they will then set me an appointment to discuss a treatment plan.
I told my manager last night, he cried which really upset me. Had dinner with a friend yesterday and she was upset and im meeting my best friend today, shes in pieces and I love her so much that this is going to be hard! So basically im upsetting all the people I love!
Me I feel ok, I still leak at least once a day but I smile more than I leak! Its hard not to when you have a gorgeous little man thats trying to laugh
I have some amazing support from all of you and my amazing family and friends just wish I wasnt doing all this again!
Will keep you all updated
Em x x x
Jan 8, 2010 8:54AM
I've just found this forum (didn't realise we'd all moved over!) and thread and i just wanted to say how brave and inspirational you are. Hopefully you'll have more information in the next week or so which may help. I always find knowing more about wha'ts going on makes it easier to process things.
I am devastated for you but you can "hear" your strength in your words. I truly hope there is positive news for you.
We had life shattering news recently with lo. Whilst it's nothing like what you and your family are going through I have felt the feelings of guilt and devastation that hubby and I will most certainly outlive G. With the great suport of family and friends we have adopted PMA and have decided to live our lives and help G live his to the absolute full. Please do not feel any guilt. Dylan is a blessing and he is so lucky to have you for a mum.
Take strength from your hubby, family and friends. It sounds like you are blessed with people around you who will support you in everything you do. I really admire your strength and positivity.
You are all in my prayers and I hope you get positive news from oncology. xx
Jan 8, 2010 2:00PM
Im glad you now have your appt hon and its only after the weekend for you to wait for it to come round. I know youre scared but you have an amazing support network around you with your family and friends and with all of us too so together we will help you get through this. I can only say what I have said before, along with all the other girls, that you are a strong and amazing woman!! We are all here for you and its ok to have your leaks when you need to. And you are not hurting the people you live. Life can hurt and the cards you are being dealt are scary for you and others. It just goes to show how much love you have all around you.
Wait and see what the results reveal, you never know you might be wrong in what you expect them to be. I hope so!!! But we will all help you deal wih whatever is around the corner.
legalbeagle - we werent hiding from you, honest! Nice to see you on here. Though Im sorry to hear youve had some bad news with Baby G. Remember we are all here for each other if you need to talk so don't hesitate if you need some support from us.
Jan 8, 2010 2:52PM
Ok ladies I thought i'd share how I feel right now with you, just been singing it to Dylan and it seems quite apt, hope you dont mind
Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad,
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle.
And this'll help things turn out for the best.
And....Always look on the bright side of life,
Always look on the bright side of life,
If life seems jolly rotten,
There's something you've forgotten,
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps,
Don't be silly chumps.
Just purse your lips and whistle, that's the thing.
And...Always look on the bright side of life.
Always look on the bright side of life...
For life is quite absurd,
And death's the final word,
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin,
Give the audience a grin,
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.
So always look on the bright side of death,
Just before you draw your terminal breath,
Life's a piece of shit,
When you look at it,
Life's a laugh and death's a joke,
it's true.You'll see it's all a show,
Keep 'em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And always look on the bright side of life,
Always look on the right side of life,
Always look on the bright side of life.
x x x