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bedtimes

We are trying to get Jen down in the evening a bit earlier so that hubs and I have some time together. She gets grumpy and tired around 6.30-7 so i figured that is a sign that this is bedtime. I tend to eaither bathe her or wash her face at this time, then change her into her night clothes in our room (dimmed lights) then feed her and rock her and sing to her. Well thats all well and good, except that when she finishes feeding, she either cries or looks at me and says 'what game and we going to play now mummy?!' We can do this quiet settling routine until 11 when she has another feed and beyond that sometimes til 1am. She sometimes snoozes in our arms, but never for long.

We're going a little bit insane, she looks exhaused and we just dont know what to do with ourselves.

Any ideas?

Em x

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    We bath Brody at around 630pm then massage, feed and bed by 730pm. But 9 times out of 10 it takes a good 2 hours to get him to go to sleep. This is the only feed I give him with formula so that he has a good big feed in a shorter time (compared to bf) and gets full and goes down but we battle every night. Hubby does this feed and often he will fall asleep in his arms and he will try burp him which often never happens cos he is zonked out, then he puts him down but of course he wakes up with wind pain within 10 minutes. then it takes that 2hrs to settle him! I left him to it for a long while tonight but then went in and rescued. Somehow I managed to get his wind up, then put him on my boob where he suckled for a few mins and fell asleep. Then he was down. This basically happens every night.

    I cant remember, are you bf or ff? Is she getting enough at this feed to satisfy her to go to sleep? I only ask as this was our problem with Brody a few weeks back until i realised he wasnt going down and staying because he was still hungry. (Now we just have to deal with the wind problem!!)

    Oh and the other thing I have found is the day time nap. If I cant get Brody to nap in the afternoon then I find it so much harder to get him down at night. Thats when he would go on a sleep strike!
    xx
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    I'd second the final feed thing - I wasn't giving Jak enough straight off and so I thought he just wanted booby rather than being hungry, but I think he was just stocking up! Also I second the nap thing - Jak needs his naps or he gets overtired. He took a bit more time to settle this evening because hubby had taken him out to meet his old work collegues and let them see Jak, so he'd missed his lunch time nap.

    Also, we don't leave him to cry as such, but he does shout a bit before he settles himself. If he gets at all close to crying, I go in and pat his back and shush him until he's calm again. He's learning, albeit slowly, to settle himself. He is the same at nap time, he needs a little bit of patting and shushing before he'll calm down enough to settle to sleep. It's as though he's indignant at being put to go to sleep, yet his eyes are closing at the same time! Bless him! x x x

    x x x
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    Not sure if I have any advice but maybe you need to tire her out more before settling her for the night?
    We never tried a set routine with G and just let him fall into one himself which luckily worked for us as he is a really laid back baby. He now goes down at 10-10.30pm and sleeps until 7-8am. Ideally I'd like to start getting him down at 9ish but I'll be honest I'm just delighted he's sleeping through. He is 13 weeks though (he was prem but his due date was end Nov!) and has been sleeping through for a fortnight. Hubby and I do keep him entertained from 7 onwards so he is tired after his last bottle.
    Hope you get it sorted xx
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    we have the same problem with toula and i thought i must be doing something wrong as all 3 boys at 6 weekd slept from 7til7 and she was still wide awake and doesnt settle until 10pm i saw the HV about it and she said i was very lucky with the boys and she is just normal lol she said that if at 3months plus still doing then to put her on hungry baby to fill her more but also said that do bedtime routine give feed at 7pm then again at 10pm then each night bring the 10pm one earlier ao 7pm then 930pm then 7pm 9pm etc until having a bottle at 8pm and hopefully going to sleep im going to try it see how it goes im going to put her inher own room too x

    amanda
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    i was struggling with toby and it was taking on board advice from Emilyb (jaks mum) that has improved our routine greatly.

    1) He feeds every three hours during the day
    7am

    10am

    1pm

    4pm

    6pm - 7oz

    bath

    7pm - rest of 7oz feed

    BED

    normally a small feed at 4amish

    We have done this for just over a week and i am very strict about the three hour feeding - then i keep him amused until an hour before his next feed then i have abit of a fight for the daytime nap.

    If he wakes up an hour earlier or an hour later then i just move the days routine an hour forward or back.

    As soon as we put him in his bed at night he drops straight off - never crys.

    It has truly transformed our lives and he fell into this routine really easily - it was almost immediate though we had 2 bad nights but even they were 100% better than previous. I really think the key is to cluster feed in the evening really fill them up.

    Emilyb you deserve a medal x
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    thats the routine i had with the boys and i do with toula perfect in the day but its night time but once she is asleep at 10pm she stays til 7am x i think the cluster feeding is gonna work x
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    thanks girls for your advice. We feed her 3 hrly through the day too, sometimes she lasts a little longer if we're out. We also give her good sessions of play, so I think she does get quite tired. I think i might try the cluster feeding in the evening...

    Em x

    ps, im BF'ing so i guess that makes a difference too...
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    Dylan goes down really well in an evening, we start his bedtime routine at 6, bath, massage, dressed in pjs, bottle, story then swaddled up in his basket he goes down awake but is asleep in minutes.

    Wish it was that easy during the day, but we try 3 hour feeds, nappy change session of play till he yawns then nap time. This morning he had just 40 minutes today he was babbling on his play mat I nipped into kitchen came back to find him spark out. I want to get him into habit of napping in his cot but its like he doesnt want to miss anything!

    x x x
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    Olivia feeds every four hours. So we do her last feed at 8pm. With the reflux she has to be kept sitting up for an hour after her feed so we put her down around 9pm or just after and then she sleeps until 8-10am. We are going to start putting her down around 8pm soon.
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    I find that Matthew is very hungry in the evenings and starts to ramp up his eating from about 5 or 6 in the evening to two hour feeds so either 5 - 7 and 9 or 6 - 8 and 10 this depends on his last feed in the afternoon. He will then go to sleep at either 9 or 10 for the night and will wake between 4.30 and 7.00 am depending on when he gets hungry, but he is still on 7 weeks 6 days.

    HJS
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    We have never tried to set a routine feeding wise for Amber, so she has just settled into this routine herself but tbh for the moment we are happy with it. I think with Amber we were lucky but Im sure bathing her and changing her at the same time and taking her to her cot at 9pm helps her to know when her bed time is. The only thing is - sometimes we notice her get really tired at 7pm and she fights it until it's time for bed, so she'll be grumpy and unable to settle for a couple of hours but she always wants a feed so we think it's to make sure she gets enough milk before her bed time even if she's tired.

    Wakes up 8am for a feed - top and tail and change into ther daytime clothes. Then she normally has a morning nap till about 11am

    After that she feeds every 2 hrs during the day and either naps or plays in between feeds

    Hubby gets home from work at 6 usually straight after a feed and he baths her and puts her in her bedtime clothes

    She usually then pretty much sits downstairs with us feeding/burping/napping continuously until 9pm

    9pm we take her upstairs - I put her a fresh nappy on and take her into our room for a story and a quiet natter. We give her one final feed - which is usually a big one.

    10pm - we put her in her cot in our room and she's either asleep or she drifts off with a dummy if she's still awake.

    5am ish she wakes up for a feed and she goes straight back to bed after

    8am she wakes up again

    xax
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    Hi there ladies - gosh I havent been on here for ages - hope everyone is doing really well! .. as for bedtimes we have got into a bedtime routine - starts at 6.15pm with half a bottle - then bath - then dressing for bed after a massage - then the other half of the bottle - swaddle then bed ... she goes down about 6.45 and is down in her room until around 10.30 when DH gives her a dream feed which now sees her through until 7am ... it took ages to drop the 3am feed but we slowly reduced the amount she was taking once she got to 11lbs until she was only taking 30mls - the next day she didnt wake .. im sure it will all go wrong once she has her next growth spurt / teething etc etc but glad we have got to where we have at this point ...
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    Lucky ladies. I have given up. Now do bath etc at 6 ish and massage and feed but he sleeps in swing for a while and then feeds on and off all evening til 11 or half 11. THen some nights sleeps in basket for 2-3 hours and rest of night in bed with me and oh, Deep sleep is a thing of the past image x
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    oh my god now i feel even more depressed! what am oi doing wrong!????

    we have a 2 year old so things are slighlty manic and we have to obviously stick to his routine a bit as he has bath at 7 and bottle on sofa anf off to bed...

    mason is 7 weeks tomoz and i just want to cry as hubby still having to sleep on sofa as we dont have seperate room for baby and he is hard to get off and wakes in night several times etc that we cant seem to think how we can have him come back to bed!!!

    my day varies depending on what the night was like - this doesnt help as i never know whats happening!

    if he wakes at 8am he will sometimes have feed but depends on when he had last one in night so this morning he had a feed at 5.30 so had most of bottle about 8.30

    then he has 2 mins under play mat or i entertain him or toddler then i put him in swing as need to get on

    he then usually nods off or dozes around 9/9.30 but wouldnt in cot.

    then next feed could be anytime bewteen 11.30 and 12.30

    and again next feed between 3.30 and 5

    in between this time there are no set naps as i just cant seem to get him down as such, if we are out he naps in car seat, in arms, or when home swing

    toddler has nap around 1pm every day for an hour so would love to try getting him down then easier said than done!

    thenhe is bathed at 7 and we all sit on sofa for feed - sometimes takes whole bottle others faffs...

    i have then tried putting him down for night as sometimes seems sooo tired but if he does go in cot wakes after 10 mins and is wide awake...

    so what usually happens is he is down with me and iput in swing about 8ish if grumpy and he may drift off for half hour then again wakes wanting to play etc then gets crying./wingy so between 9.30 and 10 i take him up in our room in dark and feed and then try lay him down, but basically he wont go off however tired so i have him in bed with me until he is asleep then move him - or sometimes i conk out and wake in night with him in bed (not good)

    if he goes off about 11pm then he will wake around 2ish then again 5.30ish and when ever he wakes takes a good hour and half before he is off - also have noticed he is waking and trumping etc and cries out and gets upset and i try dummy etc but this goes on for while and he has woken up so have to get bottle to try get him back off...

    any tips please please help!!!

    i feel like i just dont kknow what to do and as we wont have a seperate bedroom until we build it which is ages away i need to get things settled so hubby cancome back in bed!!!

    oh he is bottle fed and i make 6oz bottles up sometimes takes all others 4/5oz


    xxxxxxx
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