baby blues/formular feeding/anyone else feel like this?

Replies

• BeckyWoo1

  Dec 6, 2010 4:28PM

  Hi Stace, I'm Becky and I've come over from DID as my LO decided to make an early appearance. I just wanted to reassure you that I believe the Baby Blues are very common around Days 3 & 4.... I was told to expect it myself and sure enough 'bang' there it was on Day 3! My Mum came to visit (she says delibrately knowing I'd be down) and I burst into tears! No idea why or where it came from. So, please feel reassured it's entirely normal and I can vouch for the fact it soon goes. Please try not to worry.
  
  Becky & Heidi 9 days old xxx

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• Socksxx

  Dec 7, 2010 4:32AM

  Yep hun don't worry days three and four are awful. The adrenaline of the birth and having a baby are wearing off and the hormones, tiredness and everything else that comes with it are kicking in. Even If you thought you were doing the best job in the whole wide world you would be crying because it was going so well. What you are feeling is perfectly normal. Don'y beat yourself up, you are giving your baby the best start, switching to formula was what was best for you and your baby. It would be no good for Zoe to have a stressed out mum. I spent days three and four in tears because my bf-ing wasn't going to plan and worried I didn't love her enough because I didn't cry when she was born, how rediculous is that!! xx

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• MumOf2andBump

  Dec 7, 2010 5:35AM

  Hi hun, I'm another from DID as Daniel showed up early. Please do not feel bad for not bf, I tried with ds1 and couldn't do it and felt like the worst mummy in the world and like I'd let him down and I thought I was a failure! I ended up with pnd and was on medication until I got pg with Daniel! I honestly felt I didn't deserve my son cos I couldn't give him 'the best start' cos all the posters in hospital make you feel you have to bf and that you're a sh*t mummy if you don't! We all know 'breast is best', but is it really? If you're getting into a state trying to do it then baby will sense that, if you're relaxed while giving a formula feed baby knows, so what's better for baby? A relaxed and chilled out mummy, a happy mum is a happy baby darl and at the end if the day your dd is happy as long as she is getting fed, she doesn't care if it's breast or formula.
  
  I really feel there is too much emphasis put on bf, and for mummy's like me and you who were unable to do it we end up feeling terrible cos we can't. I think it's nice if you can but the posters all over hospital just shove it down your throat and made me feel worse at a time I already felt like a failure!
  
  Sorry for waffling, just please don't let it bother you, it was the start of a downward spiral for me and I know exactly how you feel. Your daughter is getting food and that's all that matters, you made a big decision to put her on formula, which shows what a brilliant mummy you are.
  
  Sam, Harrison & Daniel
  xxxxx

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• SplashPurple

  Dec 7, 2010 10:53AM

  Easy to say but much harder to do I know but try not to worry about the tears - I was just the same, anything could make me burst into tears - even just looking at N and thinking how lucky we are to have her. Your hormones are all over the place and will be for a few days yet - you've just been through a major life changing event. Again I know it's easy for me to say as I felt like this just a couple of weeks ago and it is easier for me to put it into perspective even with a small amount of distance.
  
  As the other ladies have said BF is really pushed and there is a lot of guilt associated with it but you have done the right thing for you and your baby. Nobody else can make the decision for you, you've made it and it is right - it means that your baby is getting what she needs and is happy. The stress that can go with breastfeeding is astronomical and something you really can get your head around until you've tried it.
  
  You are doing a fab job and as you've said your little angel is happy. Keep doing what you are doing, talk to the people around you for support and come on here to vent, rant, ask questions whenever you need to. As you know from the due in forum everyone is so supportive and the advice and encouragement that I have had from the ladies on here and in Baby has really kept me going.
  
  It's not easy but we will all get there in the end!
  Sending much love and good wishes!
  SP xx

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• jumpingzebra

  Dec 7, 2010 1:39PM

  awh i felt exactly the same. I bf for 4 days but son became dehydrated and jaundiced supplemented formula tried expressing but dried up after day 6. Day 5 a became engorged and felt v guilty.
  I ws happier knowing the amounts he was taking. He is great now a right guzzler even tho he made an apperance in oct 4 weeks early.
  I felt teary and still do now thought i was suffering with pnd but its just lack of sleep now that makes me feel down.
  Socks- I didnt cry when my boy was born and felt guilty too but i love him with all my heart. I did take a few days to bond with him properly after spending time with him .
  xxx

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• Stace180709

  Dec 8, 2010 8:05AM

  Thanks for your lovely supportive replis ladies !
  
  MW came today and wants me to see the dr as she is concerned I may have a bit of PND coming on ! Bit scared, but its so early, so hopefully I can get some help and nip this in the bud! xx

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• -kia-

  Dec 8, 2010 8:43AM

  Oh hun please don't feel bad about the bf-ing.. yes it is the best start for baby but it isn't the be all and end all of everything and formula will not do your baby any harm at all. This is the thing that really annoys me about all the pressure to bf- it makes people feel bad if they can't or don't want to. At the end of the day the best thing for your baby is a full tummy and a happy mummy however it happens.
  
  I have to say I haven't had any of the day 3/4 blues (in fact I was so happy everything went well compared to my son's birth, and in shock for about a week that she was here 3 weeks early lol!) but I have struggled with bf-ing and I have to top up and have had several moments of upset and guilt that I've not managed to do any better for her. Tbh I've come to the conclusion that so long as you try to do your best for your child thats all that matters - whether its bf-ing or formula feeding.
  
  I didn't cry when she was born either.. I cried later on when high on gas & air after stitches but that was out of relief that everything went ok and I could hold her and hadn't passed out due to blood loss.
  
  Hormones are stupid thingsi and I'll be glad when mine have died down.. I'm fed up of feeling teary over stupid things!
  
  Hope your dr can help and you feel better soon
  

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• skinny-latte

  Dec 8, 2010 11:27AM

  Oh you poor thing. Im not sure why but i escaped the baby blues this time, but i do know all about it as i suffered with them with my other babies & had PND with my first. I reckon your HV/MW is being super cautious worrying about PND already its natural & normal to feel this way when your milk comes in.
  
  As for the bf if you feel that strongly about it do you have a pump? would you like to try & express now its milk & not the thicker colostrum. You may feel like its drying up but you'll be surprised how much you might get. (my baby is 7 weeks & im still leaking milk even though ive not expressed for weeks) I am so far away from the breast is best brigade who ram it down your throat, im not trying to apply pressure, its just an idea even 1 or 2oz may help you feel better. I tried to combination feed our little man it did not work out & i did feel bad for a while but ive gotten over it now as he is thriving on formula, much happier & i did not even try with my others. The fact that you tried & wanted to is alot to be proud of. Im sure you are just the best mummy & you are all your baby wants right now she knows you, your smell, your voice your touch & thats all she needs. Please hang in there it does get better. xxx
  
  4fab.x

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