Fed up with OH

Daniellef82 · Nov 26, 2009 12:30PM

Anyone else getting fed up with their oh? He usually does the 1ish am feed then je gets a food few hrs before work and I do the rest. But today harry woke up 15 mins later and refused to do it. So muggins here has to be awake all night. What a idiot. Last wk harry was awake from two am and he saw how shattered I was and how hard it was to survive the day, and then he goes and does this at the beginning of the week!
We keep snapping at each other as we are tired too. What happened to the happy couple we once were?!
D and H x

kelmo · Nov 24, 2009 4:37AM

oh hun i feel ur pain! my hubby is quite good gettin up with ayda in the night (though she now goes from 10 til 6 most nights) however on sat night she just wouldnt settle and we were taking turns getting up with her but by about 4 he had had enough and it was just down to me, then during the day ayda was asleep most of it as she was up most the night so i went for a lie down and asked hubby to have a tidy round as the house was a tip but wen i came down an hour later he was sat on the xbox and the house was still a mess!!!!

men aye!

xxx

kelmo · Nov 24, 2009 4:38AM

oh hun i feel ur pain! my hubby is quite good gettin up with ayda in the night (though she now goes from 10 til 6 most nights) however on sat night she just wouldnt settle and we were taking turns getting up with her but by about 4 he had had enough and it was just down to me, then during the day ayda was asleep most of it as she was up most the night so i went for a lie down and asked hubby to have a tidy round as the house was a tip but wen i came down an hour later he was sat on the xbox and the house was still a mess!!!!

men aye!

xxx

SLOW · Nov 24, 2009 5:06AM

Anyone had the 'well your at home all day' comment yet. I have been waiting for it and it came yesterday. Arrrr this drove me mad, i think he thinks i lay watching tv all day ad Seth sleeps all day. Oh yea if only! Bloody men

Luc86 · Nov 24, 2009 5:18AM

My hubby only does the middle of the night feed and does'nt do any others at all!! When I brought this up the other day he got realy upset that I though he didn't love her! He said last night that when we are together he likes me to feed her for some reason!! Makes me very tired doing all the feeds but never mind I love my time with dd anyway so it's his loss!!
I keep snapping at oh too as I am so grumpy when I'm tired lol!!
Anyway enough moanin from me lol!! Oh does do other things for me so must not moan!!
xx

lucylooandbabykins · Nov 24, 2009 8:16AM

I feel this we have been having similar problems but because im partially deaf hubby says he is suffering anyway as he has to wake to wake me lol!!
He gave me a throwaway comment other day about time management but later apologised after i shouted at him.... But we will get there am sure it just men for you!!
He had Luen on fri for 3 hrs whilst i went out at night i came back to a bombsite and they Luen hadnt had briliant night hubby was hoping to chill now he sees what happens in day for me sometim es x

ProudMummy1 · Nov 24, 2009 9:51AM

Yep, same here.
I don't want to berate my hubby as he's lovely but yes, he really doesn't do much to help. The only feed he'll do is the 11pm one - but more often than not i've done it and she's zonked enough then to sleep through. I do all the feeds. Sometimes he'll do the 8pm one when i want to go and have a bath, but that's it.
To be fair to him, he's extremely busy at work. We have our own business and it's a busy one at the best of times so now i'm not there he's having to do double the workload, we have one member of staff but she can only work afternoons so it's tough. We're taking someone else on, but it's just finding someone. So, i don't like to moan at him really. Plus we always said that when we did have children i'd be the traditional Mummy and he works. That's fine by me but sometimes i would like a bit of help. He works 7 days a week too so not asif i get a rest on a weekend. Most Sunday's he takes a few hours off and we'll go out and he does help so we can sorted to go out early enough.

Yep SLOW i've had the "you're at home all day" comment too!! I tend to get to the end of the week then tiredness hits me, that's when i start having a little moan at him. Doesn't help that i've felt so low lately. I sent him an email on Friday saying i just needed a chat, it was an hour before he replied and said he was busy so i then said i was busy too so not to bother. He then put "Doing?" as if i was doing nothing grrr, this aggrevates me.
Yes, i do try and get some time to myself to come online most days but it isn't always easy.

I've spoken to other Mummies and they've said that most men are like this at this stage. When our babies get older they tend to do more as it then becomes more "interesting" for them! Charming! So we get the first year - 2 years then they get the rest hahahaha!!!

Sorry for having a rant, once i started i couldn't stop and looks like we're all feeling the same
xxx 5+3

nessie76 · Nov 24, 2009 9:57AM

My OH half does no night feeds, we are sleeping in seperate rooms! I was breast feeding to begin with and he went into the other room when he went back to work. He does do the evening feed and bath's him and get's him ready for bed. My OH say's I am at home and can sleep whenever the baby sleeps! I was really annoyed to begin with but now i just think that men are just not cut out to do these sorts of things. I would love a long lie at the weekend too but when I mentioned it he says he needs his long lies as he has been getting up at 7 for work all week, this is also the time I get up! My little one is now 8 weeks old and I am hoping he sleeps through the night soon so we can get back into the same bed at least. x

Daniellef82 · Nov 24, 2009 12:28PM

Im glad im not alone then ladies! I always get the 'sleep when he sleeps' comment. Ok sometimes thats possible, but i also have to clean up the mess he makes in the morning, get harry sorted, put the washing on, hang it out, iron, hoover and mop the floor and try to get a shower, eat and drink myself etc etc!! He's also going away this wkend for his sisters bday, i wish i could plan a weekend away and see how he copes!!
Dx

BabyBlue1980 · Nov 24, 2009 12:29PM

My OH does all the feeds when he comes home from work, but doesn't do any night ones as he works the next day and I don't think it's fair him having to get up early in the morning and go to work when he's totally shattered (he works with machinery so can't afford to be sleepy or off the ball). He does a Saturday night feed as well and lets me sleep in the morning (LO stays with his nan on a Friday night or he'd do that aswell) so really can't complain because if I'm really tired my mum or MIL will take LO for a few hours and let me sleep. xx

Gemstone_26 · Nov 25, 2009 6:10AM

My OH isn't like this at all - he helps so much it's hard to make him stop! I do all the night feeds as I'm breast feeding and he sleeps in the other room. He is a teacher in a private school so its very long hours but still when he comes home he feels guilty for sleeping in the other room so he tries to do all the house work for me! I have to get him to stop doing things so I actually have some time with him! He thinks our Noah is amazing and he always changes nappies and holds him in the evenings - he tells me this is their special boy time! My OH has long holidays though, like 3 weeks for christmas so we can all rest up and enjoy eachother properly then - I can't wait! I think compremise (sp?) is the key - you both have to respect what you do. Being a full time mum is just as hard as a full time job and I can't believe your OHs don't realise this - they need a kick up the backside! It's also very hard to adjust to being a family and not just a couple so they probably just need time to get used to the change.

Gemma and baby Noah - 7 weeks today!

gemmiebaby · Nov 25, 2009 8:49AM

Im with Gemstone actually. Hubby is desperate to help but cant. He works 18 hours a day 6 days a week (will be 7 days a week now as its Christmas and he's a chef). He's gutted if he gets home and the boys have already been fed and put to bed (I have to do it sometimes otherwise I would never get any sleep!). Its harder now im bottle feeding them as he knows he could help but I darent wake him in the night as he works with ovens and knives and has a habit of cutting/burning himself quite badly when he's tired. He will do all the major housework though, normally at 11pm when he gets home! He doesnt moan at me either, for the house being a mess or anything.

He knows I work just as hard as him (in fact, he commented the other day that he believes looking after the boys is HARDER than what he does as he has been doing his job for more than 10 years so it comes naturally!)

I definitely agree with Gemstone that some of your blokes need a kick up the backside. J would give anything to be home in the evening to bath and feed the boys. If I wake him at night because both boys need seeing to at the same time, he never complains and will get up and change nappies for me.

Must admit, after reading some of your posts, I do now feel very lucky. lol!

Gemma, Ryan and Alfie (7+2)

nessie76 · Nov 25, 2009 9:51AM

I have made my OH out to look really bad, he is quite good actually. I was having a bad day yesterday as I was so tired. He does help as much as he can and takes Owen from me as soon as he get's home and deals with him and does that feed and bath so i can relax and have tea. I am just sad that he is not here all the time with me helping out. We are also staying with relatives at the moment as our house is not ready for another 5 weeks and that has been quite stressful with a newborn baby.

julie2009 · Nov 26, 2009 5:12AM

OMG I am so glad I am not alone my OH is pretty good but I am glad to know I am not alone

lucylooandbabykins · Nov 26, 2009 12:30PM

Think this is why it good to have this forum lol.. We can moan and release tensisons, as i know my hubby is good too after listening to my friend yesterday BUT he does still do little things that irritate me but guess this is men for you..
Can you imagine what house and babies would be like if we listened to goverments propoasl of sharing mat leave with hubbys!!
I know my house would be so upside down and hubby doesnt like pooey nappies, when he has changed them he uses loads of wipes and Luen ends up putting his foot in it lol, bless my hubby for trying though xxx

Fed up with OH

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