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Anyone else really lonely?

EmLovingSandJEmLovingSandJ
in My baby was born in Oct 2010
Just wondering if anyone else is in my situation...



I moved to a different area when I was 16 and left all my friends behind. Most of them lost contact with me and a few Ive kept in touch with over FB etc. I dont have any friends in my area (my SIL who has a baby 7 weeks younger than Jack lives in the next town but we arent that friendly really) and the days are becoming increasingly lonely image I tried going to a toddler group last week but no one spoke to me and I just sat with Jack on the baby mat by myself and wondered about with Sam for an hour and a half - it really shook my confidence as Im really shy as it is. I have 2 more to try this week and Im hoping I can make some friends as Im getting desperate for some company other than the boys and my OH. My mum comes up to see me on Wednesdays and I also go to my dads for tea in the evenings afterwards but the rest of the week I'm alone. Being a stay at home mum is hard enough as it is right now.



Anyone else as lonely as me? x

Replies

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    WoWbabiesWoWbabies
    g/c....not sure where u live, but i was similar, i moved to belgium and when i moved back at 6months preggers i'd fallen out of the loopwith a lot of my friends, and was living in the next town over where i knew no one...netmums has been a real life saver for me, much easier to meet up with one person for the first time, than to walk into an entire group where the all know each other, i tend to meet someone for a coffee in a child friendly place and then next time we go to a group together, so we both know each other, or can meet for coffee thenoff to group etc, if get on really well can start just hanging out with the kids, going shopping, round each others...most of my mummy friends are from netmums, and i'd say one of those is actually a very good friend now...my ds is 2 next month (so been back in uk for over 2yrs)and i'm only just getting a good group of friends about, and am in touch with some older mates (from school etc now) but only frm the last six months etc as they're all beginning to sprog now too, but really i only see one of them regularly (and she's my bezzy mate) and my other close mate i met on netmums...it's not easy, being a new mum can really shake the confidence out of even the most outgoing people...if ur at a group on ur own just sit near someoen who's lo seems a similar age and just say 'hi, ho old's ur lo?'...u'll soon get a conversation flowing..hth xx...ps i live in kent so if ur this way give me a shout image
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    MummyinbecclesMummyinbeccles
    G/C too but just wanted to say that it is totally normal to feel like this. I felt very similar when I had my LO. I would say go to lots of groups (is there a children's centre near you). Once you get to be a more regular face people will talk. Remember other new people will come after you and you can be their friendly face.

    I found classes like baby massage, yoga, weaning good because they are smaller groups where you can chat.

    Could you also try netmums.



    I would say try to get out of the house or you end up feeling worse.



    Chin up and remember that you are doing a difficult job.



    xx
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    melissajsmelissajs
    Aww sorry to hear you're feeling like this. I feel the same sometimes, I've lived in notts for 7 years now and we live in a village which although is only 5 miles from nottingham it still feels like its in the middle of nowhere, I have to drive to most places and find it stressful getting both in and out the car especially as izzy seems to have taken a dislike to her carseat! My family live 100 miles away so don't get to see them often and my hubby is working in luton at the min and out the house 5.30am-7pm.



    I have a weekly plan, Henry's at nursery on Weds am and all day thurs so I try and do something on the days he's around like go to baby groups. I'm very lucky that I have a close friend I met through a baby massage class I did with Henry and she goes to the same groups. I find school hols really hard cause they stop all the groups?! Afternoons are the hardest for me, my friend has an older child she has to pick up from school so we can't do arrange anything. Once the weather starts picking up am going to try and get out a bit more, Henry has so much energy!



    I do sometimes find baby groups are a bit clicky but if I'm on my own I tend to find someone else on their own its less scary and speak to them. I'm quite shy as well but as I have to do a lot on my own have become a bit more confident - I have nothing to lose. Hope it gets easier xxx



    Think I will also take a look on netmums



    Sorry for the ramble :lol:
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    MrsBinksMrsBinks
    Oh love you sound so down. I never realised how lonely having a baby could make you feel. I have developed a good group of friends through NCT and various groups but sometimes it even gets to me. Are there any smaller classes you can sign up? As others have suggested it's a bit tricky going to large groups where it's often more difficult to approach people. The other thing you could try is a group that is instructor led (I do baby massage, sensory and swimming classes). I think people generally mix a bit more in these classes and you just tend to start chatting to the person next to you. Also try to be brave and ask people for their numbers/ give yours or arrange a coffee. It's something that I think most people feel a little awkward about at first but you'd be surprosed at how many people are in the same boat as you and would love to meet up.



    xxx
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    xhappystrawberryxxhappystrawberryx
    It's horrible feeling lonely when looking after a little one image I have felt quite lonely at times since having my lo 4 months ago. I went to nct classes and met some nice people through that but lately I've been feeling a bit left out as my lo is younger than theirs and I live a bit further away from them. My family live about 4 hours away and none of my close friends have babies. My lo is attached to the hip as there's nobody else to look after him for a couple of hours (hubby gets home about 7pm, and I'm crying out for a break by then!).

    Anyway, I think the suggestion to look on Netmums is a good idea. You can join your local group and either meet up with a group or respond to an individual request to meet up. I agree that some groups seem a bit cliquey but I think it's a good idea to try to sit next to someone who looks like they're on their own too.

    Hope things get better for you - I'm sure the baby groups will get easier and you'll make some great friends! xx
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    xxfairyxdustxxxxfairyxdustxx
    Oooh, this topic is really scaring me!! We're about to move from the village I grew up in, leaving both sets of parents and our friends to give our lo more opportunities and do more things with her as the place I live is beautiful but very far from anything with very limited baby groups, things for older kids to do, well, everything really!! I'm quite shy and find cliquey groups really intimidating but I know this is something we need to do as a family so I'm going to have to be a big girl and throw myself into it!! We're renting our house out and just renting for now to give it a go which is a bit of a safety net. I'm worried that it'll be harder as lo is older, do people generally meet other mums through antenatal/nct? I'm going to try netmums now to reassure myself!!!
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    SnugglenushSnugglenush
    I was the same to be honest - spesh seeing as hubby works long ridiculous hours - was pretty much living as a single parent for weeks at a time. We moved just before i got pg so and i still work where we lived previously so all my friends are about 45 mins away. V tricky after the csec!

    I can't help i'm afraid much as the only cure for me was to go bck to work. Am feeling so much better now - just have more energy whic is strange!!Am buzzing now really.

    I hope you find something that works for u and start feeling better soon.

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    HumphreythecamelHumphreythecamel
    hi hun, i feel the same some days. i moved to hubbys area 5 years ago and apart from work colleagues havent really made any friends up here, so its just me and pops! apart from seeing my mom on wednesdays, and hubbys mom a couple of afternoons a week, im just the same! its not a nice feeling and i wouldnt wish it upon anyone. the only thing that i try and do is go out for a walk everyday with pops, it gets me out th house and gets me excercise at the same time.... i normally do about 4 - 5 miles! im gutted to have left all my friends and family, and although they live about 40 miles away its just too far to go as we only have car and hubby uses it for work every day! chin up chick, i cant really help but i understand what you are going through x x x
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    HumphreythecamelHumphreythecamel
    hi hun, i feel the same some days. i moved to hubbys area 5 years ago and apart from work colleagues havent really made any friends up here, so its just me and pops! apart from seeing my mom on wednesdays, and hubbys mom a couple of afternoons a week, im just the same! its not a nice feeling and i wouldnt wish it upon anyone. the only thing that i try and do is go out for a walk everyday with pops, it gets me out th house and gets me excercise at the same time.... i normally do about 4 - 5 miles! im gutted to have left all my friends and family, and although they live about 40 miles away its just too far to go as we only have car and hubby uses it for work every day! chin up chick, i cant really help but i understand what you are going through x x x
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    HumphreythecamelHumphreythecamel
    hi hun, i feel the same some days. i moved to hubbys area 5 years ago and apart from work colleagues havent really made any friends up here, so its just me and pops! apart from seeing my mom on wednesdays, and hubbys mom a couple of afternoons a week, im just the same! its not a nice feeling and i wouldnt wish it upon anyone. the only thing that i try and do is go out for a walk everyday with pops, it gets me out th house and gets me excercise at the same time.... i normally do about 4 - 5 miles! im gutted to have left all my friends and family, and although they live about 40 miles away its just too far to go as we only have car and hubby uses it for work every day! chin up chick, i cant really help but i understand what you are going through x x x
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    HumphreythecamelHumphreythecamel
    hi hun, i feel the same some days. i moved to hubbys area 5 years ago and apart from work colleagues havent really made any friends up here, so its just me and pops! apart from seeing my mom on wednesdays, and hubbys mom a couple of afternoons a week, im just the same! its not a nice feeling and i wouldnt wish it upon anyone. the only thing that i try and do is go out for a walk everyday with pops, it gets me out th house and gets me excercise at the same time.... i normally do about 4 - 5 miles! im gutted to have left all my friends and family, and although they live about 40 miles away its just too far to go as we only have car and hubby uses it for work every day! chin up chick, i cant really help but i understand what you are going through x x x
  • Options
    HumphreythecamelHumphreythecamel
    hi hun, i feel the same some days. i moved to hubbys area 5 years ago and apart from work colleagues havent really made any friends up here, so its just me and pops! apart from seeing my mom on wednesdays, and hubbys mom a couple of afternoons a week, im just the same! its not a nice feeling and i wouldnt wish it upon anyone. the only thing that i try and do is go out for a walk everyday with pops, it gets me out th house and gets me excercise at the same time.... i normally do about 4 - 5 miles! im gutted to have left all my friends and family, and although they live about 40 miles away its just too far to go as we only have car and hubby uses it for work every day! chin up chick, i cant really help but i understand what you are going through x x x
  • Options
    HumphreythecamelHumphreythecamel
    hi hun, i feel the same some days. i moved to hubbys area 5 years ago and apart from work colleagues havent really made any friends up here, so its just me and pops! apart from seeing my mom on wednesdays, and hubbys mom a couple of afternoons a week, im just the same! its not a nice feeling and i wouldnt wish it upon anyone. the only thing that i try and do is go out for a walk everyday with pops, it gets me out th house and gets me excercise at the same time.... i normally do about 4 - 5 miles! im gutted to have left all my friends and family, and although they live about 40 miles away its just too far to go as we only have car and hubby uses it for work every day! chin up chick, i cant really help but i understand what you are going through x x x
  • Options
    HumphreythecamelHumphreythecamel
    hi hun, i feel the same some days. i moved to hubbys area 5 years ago and apart from work colleagues havent really made any friends up here, so its just me and pops! apart from seeing my mom on wednesdays, and hubbys mom a couple of afternoons a week, im just the same! its not a nice feeling and i wouldnt wish it upon anyone. the only thing that i try and do is go out for a walk everyday with pops, it gets me out th house and gets me excercise at the same time.... i normally do about 4 - 5 miles! im gutted to have left all my friends and family, and although they live about 40 miles away its just too far to go as we only have car and hubby uses it for work every day! chin up chick, i cant really help but i understand what you are going through x x x
  • Options
    HumphreythecamelHumphreythecamel
    hi hun, i feel the same some days. i moved to hubbys area 5 years ago and apart from work colleagues havent really made any friends up here, so its just me and pops! apart from seeing my mom on wednesdays, and hubbys mom a couple of afternoons a week, im just the same! its not a nice feeling and i wouldnt wish it upon anyone. the only thing that i try and do is go out for a walk everyday with pops, it gets me out th house and gets me excercise at the same time.... i normally do about 4 - 5 miles! im gutted to have left all my friends and family, and although they live about 40 miles away its just too far to go as we only have car and hubby uses it for work every day! chin up chick, i cant really help but i understand what you are going through x x x
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    HumphreythecamelHumphreythecamel
    apologies for the 6 posts image
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    Dancing_like_a_MuppetDancing_like_a_Muppet
    I can certainly say that I have had a bit of cabin fever...these Winter babies are not good for socialising !! lol



    As most of my friends are at work I have been spending a lot of time with my parents.......they are in their mid 70's so my street cred is way down there..hahaha



    although I am going to miss my DS very very very much I am also looking forward to a bit of adult company again when I find a job !!!!



    anyone know of any jobs going in Leicester/Coventry,Lutterworth???????? just checking...



    DLAM xxx
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