🚨 Advance warning 🚨 This forum will be closing on 1st May – please see our pinned thread for more information.
Options
Baby Group Nightmare
So, Benjamin and I went to our first baby group today. I want him to meet some other babies and I am starting to go a bit crazy working from home and watching him 24/7. Benjamin really is quite a content and happy baby. The only times he really cries is when he gets his shots.
There was a speaker at the baby group talking about baby temperament. There were lots of babies, too, maybe 15-20.
Benjamin screamed the ENTIRE time! Only if I stood up and walked to the back of the room would he stop crying. He has never cried this long. It was like he was getting shots for an hour. I had to leave early. Everyone was just staring at us with their quiet little babies. No one said anything.
I take him out in public once a day. We regularly do things with friends, including a friend who has a baby. Am I not socializing him well enough??? Should I bring him back to baby group? I don't know what to do. It was so stressful my hands were actually shaking...oh, and I lost my car keys!
It is just that he never cries...and usually laughs and smiles at people...?
There was a speaker at the baby group talking about baby temperament. There were lots of babies, too, maybe 15-20.
Benjamin screamed the ENTIRE time! Only if I stood up and walked to the back of the room would he stop crying. He has never cried this long. It was like he was getting shots for an hour. I had to leave early. Everyone was just staring at us with their quiet little babies. No one said anything.
I take him out in public once a day. We regularly do things with friends, including a friend who has a baby. Am I not socializing him well enough??? Should I bring him back to baby group? I don't know what to do. It was so stressful my hands were actually shaking...oh, and I lost my car keys!
It is just that he never cries...and usually laughs and smiles at people...?
0
Replies
Firstly, don't panic...its just one of those things
my DS cried the 1st time I took him to a baby group....I think its just a lot to take in when there is lots of people...DS used to cry and cry but I think that the room got soooo hot that he was just uncomfortable....
I worry about taking DS out as he is such a happy and quiet baby up until he wants his bottle and he screams the place down and doesn't stop until the bottle is in his mouth...hahaha
Everyone might have had quiet babies this week but I bet you any money some of the others will kick off next week....
DLAMxxxx
I keep worrying I'm messing him up somehow because I have never been around babies before. I never even babysat.
I might try again.
It was awful because they were also talking about temperaments...and everyone was saying how good their babies were...and then the speaker kept looking at me and smiling in a way I didn't like and talking about how difficult some babies are - as if to say Benjamin was so difficult. And that their temperament now is their personality and they've had it since the womb. He was screaming so loud she had to keep stopping.
our HV's just kept talking and talking when any of the babies cried.....at one point there were about 7 or 8 babies crying - the HV said lets take a break as no-one could hear her....we all laughed
DLAM xxx
We're all going to get into situations where our LO's are going to get crabby and I'm Little Miss Paranoid at the best of times. (I always feel like everyone's judging me)
I'm a bit shocked that everyone glared at you, it must happen all the time at these sorts of places. Jeez!
I don't think it's anything you're doing but agree it's going to be strange for your LO when there's lots more people around than he's used to.
I'm sure you're doing a great job with your lo so don't let yourself get wound up after a baby group. Maybe try to join one that just wants to have a bit of fun and where the other ladies want to have a nice chat! xx
The session lasted 2 hours and consisted of baby massage to start followed by talks on various things.
Every other baby loved the massage and my LO screamed all the way through. No one could hear the relaxation music so i had to leave the room with him.
I did return with him the follwing week and even though he still doesn't like the massge bit he wasn't as hysterical!
Keep trying with him...it will do you good as well to get out
If it were me, i'd write that group off for now and start smaller and friendlier!! Maybe a soft play type of group, or more informal mum's and tots group would be an easier starting place where you can just relax and play together as at home, just with other mums and babies around so he can get used to the idea. As 15-20 other babies, plus mums must be a lot to take in for a baby, especially if mum's a bit nervous and it's a bit boring for them!! The speaker sounds like a bit of a cowbag too!
UIve been to a few both large and small and some people are more clicky than otehrs. Our local one has between about 15-20 people and I find it more friendly than the smaller group which is more clickly. I would say just try idfferent ones out and oyu will find one that you like.
As for your lo crying don;t worry about it, every one who is a mother has experienced a moment when there baby cries at a time when you prefer them not too. Sorry but I'm sure half the mums in that room were lying saying there babies are good as gold 24/7! I saw a mum at our local toddler group jsut ebfore Christmas who spent most of the time crying because he was suffering with bad reflux.
When I took our ds for the first time when he was awake, he just laid on the floor staring at everyone. nLike someone else said, there is lots of people and lots more noise to what they are used to at home so it will take a bit of time getting used to it. Its not because you havent done enough socialising, just a new enviornment for him. Please don;t let this group put you off. In adddition you sound as though yo9u may have been slightly tense/stree with your lo crying, people glaring at you, you lost your car keys, your lo slightly unsettled etc. Your lo would have picked up on this (there clever!) which may have made him more anxious knowing his mummy wasn't her usual calm self which could have made him cry more. If your not sure about going back there try other groups out.