Anyone else feel further from, not closer to, their mum?
Hi Girls
I was having lunch with some mummy friends the other day and they started talking about how much closer they felt to their mums since having their babies. I felt really sad that I couldn't agree as my relationship with my mum seems to have got worse since I had a baby. We're nice to each other on the face of it and we get along but she doesn't give any help or support. I sometimes wish we could have a big argument to get to the bottom of things!
My parents live about 3 hours away so I know it's difficult to meet up, but I think the penny dropped last night when I said that I'd like to stay with them for a week over Easter so they could spend some time getting to know their new grandson, and my mum was really non-committal about it and said she couldn't confirm as she wasn't sure about holidays etc (even though she'd just listed all the holidays they're taking in April and it wasn't the same week). I really wanted her to say that she'd be thrilled if I came to stay, but I got the impression that it would just be putting my parents out. They're retired now so I don't see why they can't make the time to see more of us - they've only visited us twice since lo was born. They've got 6 grandchildren who live around the corner from them (my sisters' children) so they put all their energy into seeing them, and I feel like my son will miss out. However, every time I go to visit them I just leave feeling hurt that the weekend hasn't gone very well and that they're not sad to see us leave!
I don't think there's much I can do about this situation, it just gets me down sometimes as I'd love more support (I don't get any help from my sisters either who have got 6 children between them!). I just wondered if anyone else feels the same? xx
I was having lunch with some mummy friends the other day and they started talking about how much closer they felt to their mums since having their babies. I felt really sad that I couldn't agree as my relationship with my mum seems to have got worse since I had a baby. We're nice to each other on the face of it and we get along but she doesn't give any help or support. I sometimes wish we could have a big argument to get to the bottom of things!
My parents live about 3 hours away so I know it's difficult to meet up, but I think the penny dropped last night when I said that I'd like to stay with them for a week over Easter so they could spend some time getting to know their new grandson, and my mum was really non-committal about it and said she couldn't confirm as she wasn't sure about holidays etc (even though she'd just listed all the holidays they're taking in April and it wasn't the same week). I really wanted her to say that she'd be thrilled if I came to stay, but I got the impression that it would just be putting my parents out. They're retired now so I don't see why they can't make the time to see more of us - they've only visited us twice since lo was born. They've got 6 grandchildren who live around the corner from them (my sisters' children) so they put all their energy into seeing them, and I feel like my son will miss out. However, every time I go to visit them I just leave feeling hurt that the weekend hasn't gone very well and that they're not sad to see us leave!
I don't think there's much I can do about this situation, it just gets me down sometimes as I'd love more support (I don't get any help from my sisters either who have got 6 children between them!). I just wondered if anyone else feels the same? xx
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Replies
No matter how hard I try not to feel hurt, I still am. Hardly got any sleep last night as I was so angry/upset that she doesn't make any effort. I think I will stop visiting them so much and hope that makes them realise, although I doubt it will. My mil is also quite good, although the in-laws live further away than my parents and still have full time jobs so they can't help too much but they're always there for us when we need them.
All we can do is make sure that we turn out to be better mums than they are! xx