Problem Parents

MummyDocker24 · Mar 16, 2011 2:39PM

Hi, just wanting a bit of advice really. Since I had Finley I feel like my mum and dad have become such a pain! When they come around and c me my oh and Finn or we go 2 c them they take absolutely no interest in me r my oh. Finns 5months now and since he was born this is what they have been like! Me and my mum had a big argument after I heard her talking about me behind my back 2 my dad when we were round so I asked her what the problem was and she said that I don't make an effort to see her and she thought things would be different, she always make everything about herself! She seems to expect me to see her like every other day or something! After the argument we both said we would make more of an effort because it's a 2 way street which my mum didn't seem to understand! (Id just had a baby and was still getting used to being a mum!) When she does come round she's far to fussy, I understand that it's her first grandson but it's just little things like if he falls asleep on her she won't put him down even though I've asked her every time when he has, I want him 2 sleep in his cot when he's napping as I can't be holding him all the time when she isn't here! Also when I change his nappy she will get down on to the floor and start fussing over him while I'm trying to change his nappy which is a battle these days anyway as he keeps rolling away!lol! And I don't need her getting in the way fussing about!! She never makes an effort to see me and expects me to do it all but it's not that easy with a baby!!!! When I talk to her she just sits there and doesn't answer me. The other day when she came around Finley was asleep and in his cot upstairs and she just sat on my sofa silently while I was trying to have a conversation with her then when Finn woke up and I brought him down she complete ignored me and started fussing again!! My dad always moans that he doesn't see him(not me) but he doesn't finish work till 5 every night which isn't really practical for me and oh. Oh mum and dad are nothing like this and they take more interested in m than my own parents! I don't know what to do as we have already talked about it but know my mum is just the way she was before! It upsets me so much that I feel invisible to my own parents!!!!!!

Xx Sorry for the long post xx

TriTread · Mar 16, 2011 5:45AM

I can't really offer any help but can certainly sympathise. Luckily this hasn't happened to me but I know a lot of friends who have found their parents can only speak about the baby and it's like they don't exist. I just wanted to say that you're not alone and it will get better once the LO is older.

Is he the first grandchild cos this seems to be a trend. Maybe you can get someone to watch Finlay (when you're comfortable) and you and your mum can go out shopping or for lunch?

MummyDocker24 · Mar 16, 2011 6:00AM

Thank u it really makes u feel like they dont care about me!Yeah he is the first,i really dont think she would be intrested i just spending time with me! If i go round and leave finn with his dad shes like oh wheres finley!! x

xxfairyxdustxx · Mar 16, 2011 2:39PM

I think it's normal hun! I only get to talk to my mum if lo's asleep! And in the early days I got really annoyed as she kept dancing around over my shoulder when I was feeding going; 'Ohhhh, she's looking at me!' Not helpful in the early days of establishing b'fing!

I try and just think how lovely it is that she cares so much as some grandparents don't. She also does the whole, getting in the way of nappy changes.....but rarely does the actual change!! I think it's grandparent's prerogative to get all the fun baby bits without the sleepless nights and poo! Saying all this, I do sometimes get frustrated and a bit hurt when I'm talking and she blatantly starts making googoo noises in the middle, obviously not listening to a word I'm saying, I think I do this to hubby tho....oops! I'm sure we'll get our parents back in time!

Problem Parents

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