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O/T Did you say "obey"?

I am being totally nosey now and having just watched The Wedding (!) I was wondering whether I am the only one to have said "obey" during my vows? Kate obviously decided against saying obey whilst also having the ancient marriage service.



The meaning was explained to me by the person marrying us. To "obey" was not meant as in obeying a command but rather in the sense that the right hand "obeys" the left hand etc. For that reason I said obey and never regretted and nor did anyone question it.



Just wondering, for those that got married in church, did you say obey or did you leave it out?



C.x

Replies

  • It wasn't an option for us as we got married in a Catholic church where it's not traditional to say obey. Had it been a C of E church I would not have agreed to say it as would have been a lie! I have heard explanations like yours for what it's about but the fact that only the woman says it leaves me uneasay. But I don't judge anyone who would say it - each to their own etc! x
  • We had a civil ceremony so again it wasn't an option. However I wouldn't have, to be honest, unless OH would have said it too. S goes on about this a lot (jokingly) that i never do what he asks because I didn't say obey.



    None of my business what other people do, though!



    xx
  • I agree. It does seem strange that only the woman says it, particularly as hubby agrees to everything I say most days :lol:.



    I am always a little surprised at how controversial the idea is but then I am a bit old fashioned anyway.



    C.x
  • If i went to a wedding where the bride said it, I wouldn't have voiced an opinion or anything like that. If you're happy to use that marriage service, then that's all that I would have thought about it. Weddings are so personal to the couple.



    OH and I have definitely morphed into 'old fashioned' roles since having Daniel, in that he earns most of the money and I do most of the childcare and household management. It wouldn't suit some people but it suits us! I think that's the key, isn't it, just finding what works for you as a couple!



    xxx
  • It wasn't an option for us either. But I wouldn't have, on the grounds that only the woman says it.



    I found it more strange that William didn't wear a ring.
  • I got marriage in C of E church and obey was not even asked, when I asked about it the vicar said that it was not used in their service - don't think I would have said it anyway.



    It was weird William not having a ring but apparently he doesn't like wearing rings.

  • I remember hubby being asked if he was going to be wearing a ring by the priest who married us. I don't think that traditionally the man has worn a ring - don't ask me why. A bit like the obey bit I guess!



    I agree that the vows are entirely personal to the couple saying them and that we all do whatever works. Luckily hubby hasn't decided to take a literal translation of the "obey" otherwise he would have got a swift thump!



    C.x
  • I was married in a Church of England Church and got the option, we chose not to have obey in our vows. Just because we believe marriage is about compromise with each other and has worked well so far! Mind you its only been 8 years, haha! Wouldnt think any less of anyone who chose to have obey in their vows, no matter how they define it. Marriage is a very personal thing, to each their own! xx
  • Me and hubby can't remember if I did or not, so thats my excuse and I'm sticking to it!



    As for the ring thing our vicar asked the same, the woman obeys the man gives gold were his words!



    I thought the wedding was fab, I did a lot of lip reading that day!



    Bets XxX
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