Forum home› Archived Birth Clubs› My baby was born in Sept 2011
🚨 Advance warning 🚨 This forum will be closing on 1st May – please see our pinned thread for more information.

Totally fed up with feeding: c section, mastitis, antibiotics & now thrush

TulipRoseTulipRose
in My baby was born in Sept 2011
Hi Ladies,



I'm afraid this is a bit of a whinge post (as you'd probably gathered by the title).



I'm feeling really very low and totally fed up with breastfeeding. As some of you know we had a rough start partly due to Connor being a large baby and also the OC induction and c section which left me wiped and in hospital for 5 days after.



I was badly damaged but fed through it and we survived with one formula a day to help me get my strength back. It worked and then I dropped the formula completely which apparently can be hard to do according to our HV.



Then I got a bad case of mastitis which hurt like hell. Was very poorly and almost ended up in hospital on IV antibiotics. My husband took 2 days off and I was pretty much in bed for a week. Still feeling really crappy from the antibiotics etc.



Now I've developed thrush which is a pain in the @ss and I'm just wondering what the point of trying to feed is.

The more I try and the more pain I go through the more that gets chucked at me. image



Really miserable and fed up of being brave and feeding in agony.

Replies

  • KazzieMKazzieM
    Oh Tulip you have had a rough ride. Well done for getting through what you have as well as you have (many would have fallen at the first hurdle). Don't keep dragging yourself through the wringer thinking it's in LOs best interest, it will help a lot more having a healthy happy mummy to look after him.
  • shonsshons
    I feel your pain. I had mastitis which was painful then a week later got thrush which was agony. For me, breastfeeding was a constantly painful experience (and I know it wasn't a problem with Noah latching on). Despite the fact that Noah was thriving on being breastfed, I made the difficult decision to stop after nearly 8 weeks. I was so miserable and sore that it was the best thing for all of us. He's just as happy being bottle fed and more importantly, so am I.

    I think mums are made to feel incredibly guilty about bottle feeding which is wrong. Ultimately, as long as your baby is happy and healthy and mum is too, you can't go wrong.

    Really hope you feel better soon x
  • GlitterBug09GlitterBug09
    I didn't produce enough milk with my dd and had to stop bf very early. I was devastated - really didnt want to do formula but my GP told me I must in order for my baby to thrive so of course I did. She is now 6 months and although I am a breastfeeding advocate and will try again next time around, being on formula has not harmed her in any way. You are not a bad mummy if you decide to switch. I think you have done brilliantly to go as long as you have xx
  • KittleLittenKittleLitten
    Oh Tulip I'm sorry you're having such a bad time. I had a similar story, c section, difficulty establishing but we did it (took about 3 months), cracked nipples, mastitis, thrush, the pain just seems to go on and on sometimes.



    It's your decision what to do, you have to really look inside yourself to make it though. You obviously know the benefits of breastfeeding, and I'm sure you also know formula is not poison. It's really tough, weighing up your own physical and mental health against the bombardment of information from all sides pro and con everything.



    Whatever you decide give yourself a hug (and get your OH to give you one too!) and tell yourself you're doing what you have decided is best for your baby and yourself, and it IS good enough.



    big (((hugs))) xx



    ETA sorry for totally G/C this forum, I saw your post at the side and didn't look to see where it had actually been posted xx
  • TulipRoseTulipRose
    Thanks ladies. image



    I'm trying to feel proud and as though I've achieved a lot given that I wanted to breastfeed and have gone through a lot to continue.



    I know formula isn't poison and I do give Connor the odd bottle here and there when things have been bad (for the long term good) and to keep him used to a bottle for when i go back to work. I don't judge anyone for formula feeding but I do wish those who want to bf but had to give up had more support - its hard! We were 'lucky' to be in hospital for a bit so I kept demanding to be re-shown how to do it.



    I now feel that because we've been through so much that to quit now would waste all that effort.



    Going to take it one feed at a time and if I need the odd bottle to chill and keep us happy then that's fine.



    He's already showing signs that he's ready for weaning too so this will give my boobs a break - I'll just need to be careful to do it slowly x
  • GlitterBug09GlitterBug09
    I agree more support is needed. I was lucky, I was given lots of support but unfortunately the medical opinion in the end was to stop. My body didn't do any of the things it was supposed to. I didn't dilate during labour, I didn't contract properly and I didn't produce milk. The doctor actually told me that in 'the olden days' me and the baby would have died during labour, and if by some miracle we had survived, the baby would have died unless I could have afforded to hire a wet nurse!! I think she was trying to make me feel better and to count myself lucky that I had medical intervention and formula to fall back on, but it didn't work!! What upsets me is that most people just assume I didn't try hard enough. One mother at my baby group who fed twins said it made her feel physically sick when she saw a baby drinking from a bottle. She said that if she could do it with twins then people with one baby have no excuse. I hope I am more successful next time around x
  • TulipRoseTulipRose
    Oh Glitterbug! People are so insensitive!



    Its ridiculous to think that we're all the same and in the same boat when we are all made so differently and each pregnancy is different. Ignore people like that.



    I think I meant that there is a large number of people who truly want to feed (and physically able) but try it a couple of times and think because they can't do it instantly that they have failed. Just wish we were told more that you have to learn, practice and you really need a lot of support.

    I was lucky that I had hospital, midwife, bf counsellor and my step mum too. That said there is such a thing as too much advice!image



    This is totally going to come out wrong but I mean it in a reassuring way...

    I saw a MW on tv the other day who said it is true that some women simply can't produce enough milk and that it is true in other animals too. Hence the term prize dairy cow for cows which produce lots of milk. Apparently farmers report that sheep and cows can not produce enough milk for their young which is why they have to support them often with bottles.

    My point is that it is a fact which some people unfortunately refuse to believe!



    I honestly think that as a Mum you decide what works best and you do your best and that's all anyone can ask.



    Its so awful the pressure on both formula and bf Mummies. If you bottle feed you get the whole 'breast is best' thing and if you bf you feel pressured to continue, adopt a good diet and also the stigma of public feeding when you have already lost your confidence, are sleep deprived etc etc.



    Really saddening that other women seem to be the worst for comment too!



    I think the bf counsellors do a fantastic job though - they've not once told me to keep feeding but listened to where I am and what I want to do and supported me in that.



    Hope you can leave those negative feelings behind Glitter... it sound like you did all you could.



    We also discovered we would likely have had a stillbirth and maternal haemorrhage without medical science so very scary. But its here and that's great.



    I'm really glad I wasn't having a baby in the 50s like the program 'Call the Midwife'! image
  • datafairydatafairy
    Bless you - doesn't sound like you're having much fun - but also being quite hard on yourself.



    I had an emergency c-section, baby wouldn't feed properly - he would only feed lying down in bed and would feed every half an hour as he wasn't latching properly and my nipples were bleeding and sore. I was in hospital for a week and then at home in bed for another 4 as i couldn't leave the house. Looking back now it was obvious I had postnatal depression!



    I completely beat myself up about breastfeeding - i struggled on, crying as it was so painful and horrible, but eventually decided to go onto formula - and it was totally the right thing to do. I spent weeks agonising over what to do and my partner made the decision for me and we put him on formula and he fed really well, was much happier and i actually began to enjoy my baby and being a mum.



    You don't need to be brave - you're a mum and you're amazing.
  • AnotherLovelyBeanAnotherLovelyBean
    Anyone judging anyone on how they feed their baby is just wrong.



    DS had a tongue tie which was not picked up at all by anyone (3 midwives, 2 health visitors and 2 consultant paediatricians!) I was told to feed through the (excruciating) pain and I just had sensitive nipples or DS had a strong suck!!! DS was not gaining enough weight and I was in so much pain I had to stop feeding.



    I understand though what it feels like to put yourself through the wringer about it and after just 4 days of formula feeding I decided that I just really really wanted to bf so much and started throwing a lot of money at the problem... Home visits from private lactation consultants and a private tongue tie op solved the problem completely and we have been very happily and comfortably bfing ever since.



    WHat I am trying to say is that it is really sad that there is the 'guilt culture' fostered by the NHS but the support is totally rubbish! We feel like we have to bf and often feel so bad when we can't that we feed way way way beyond a rational pain tolerance level!



    You are amazing for feeding as long as you have. I hope that you have access to the support you deserve to be able to choose when you stop and not stop earlier than you want to out of necessity.

    xxxx
  • GlitterBug09GlitterBug09
    Thanks for your kind words TulipRose. I think you are right, look to the future and try again next time xx
  • candimumcandimum
    Hay tulip, I hope you are ok and hopefully the thrush is starting to go.You are really going through it.If you mean thrush in you milk the. You should get a long course in anti biotics to treat it.I had it with my dd, but didn't know until had Oliver and it is so painfully, I had to give you as I couldn't take the pain and the doctors didn't know what it was.You should be proud of yourself for even trying as that is an achievement in it self (not that it isn't if you don't).x
  • TulipRoseTulipRose
    Thanks ladies.



    Datafairy - (love the name!)

    What you say really sounds familiar and I do usually beat myself up quite a bit. image



    Still having real issues.

    Saw a different GP today and he thinks I don't even have thrush and said to give it a week and come back if necessary. Something isn't right though.



    Nipples are starting to crack and get sore, mainly because we are re-attaching a lot to get it right, Ds is teething so unsettled and I was told to dry them out for thrush.



    I think I'm now going to treat them with lansinoh as they need to heal really.



    Seriously thinking about calling it a day but wondering if I should go to the bf clinic/chat to a HV for one last shot.

    Maybe I need to do this for peace of mind?



    In the meantime I think I'm going to introduce one formula a day to give me a rest part of the day which isn't so frantic.



    I completely agree that it is rich expecting us to all bf with minimal support and GPs etc that are so unfamiliar with helping bf women. :roll:
Sign In or Register to comment.