Feb 14, 2008 6:32AM
hey all just got diagnosed with post natal depression yesterday im 19 i shouldnt be feeling like this i got put on fluxine or some thing prozac in my eyes
i had my baby girl 15 days ago and it was a horrible pregnancy and a horrible labour lo was back to back with her head awkward she got stuck and had failed forceps and a c section i feel like im not a good mam and i cant cope i cant be in the house by my self with out having a panic attack its awful just feel like everyone will se me as a failier (sorry cant spell) as i am on anti-depressants and cant cope my mam and dad have been a god send i keep snipeing at my boyfriend and i dont feel like eating of sleeping i see the psycatrist every week i just dont like talking i love my baby girl more than anything i just cant give her what she needs xx
Feb 14, 2008 7:21AM
Hi hun, im sure you are doing fine. Its bloody hard work with a newborn but it does get easier. Keep your chin up and i hope the tablets kick in for you. Dont worry about snipping at your bf, you have just had a baby and im sure your still very sore, your hormones will settle down and im sure you will feel like your old self soon. Stress is high with a new baby in the house and im sure your bf and family know this so dont be afraid to ask for help. Im always here if you want to chat. xxx
Feb 18, 2008 11:06AM
Oh Marsha, im so sorry i havnt been on in days, Ellie was in hospital very sick and dehydrated. Shes home and fine now.
Im so sorry to hear about your mum. Is she still in hospital? Maybe she had some tablets left over from when she used them and started taking them again?
How is your dad?
What about your wee girl? is she any better? did you get out on your girly night out?
I hope things have gotten better, let me know how your doing. xxxxx
Feb 19, 2008 7:22AM
Im not pregnant! Sorta relieved and dissapointed at the same time. Ellie is much better now and the HV just left and she is now 14lbs!
Im glad your little girl is doing better and that you got out on your girly night. Im going to a dinner dance on Friday for a local charity and looking forward to it.
Hopefully your mum will get better soon, if not at least they can move her to a hospital that will help her needs better. I know its easy to say but try not to worry too much, its such a hard time for you now and you need to think about getting yourself in good form for when you go to visit. Your dad will be glad to see you and im sure your mum will be glad to see the girls. It might even help her.
What date do you go on? how long are you going for? xxx
Feb 19, 2008 9:38AM
Who are you getting to baby sit?
I am letting Garys sister keep Ellie but i will only be a couple of hours to show my face and we are going after the meal.
At least you are getting to go home soon. How is your mum today? xxx
Feb 20, 2008 7:52AM
I know, its so easy to knock them out, christmas was a nightmare, away visiting all the time and people coming to us, Ellie was terrible to get back into routine.
I hope your mum is better today, how are you? hows the sleeping going? xxx
Feb 20, 2008 5:14PM
I have to say i havnt taken mine today either, i am going to try and take them every other day again, my doc said this was ok but if i feel like im going off the rails again to come see her. I just dont want to be taking them in a year or two.
Im sure your mum is doing better and maybe seeing you in a few weeks will help her get better and out of the hospital sooner. Is your hubby going with you? xxx
Feb 21, 2008 12:54PM
Been posting about this on baby forum, thought i would join you guys on here!!
My lo is 9 weeks old, and i've been feeling crap for weeks, i've been to the doc and he has refered me for an assessment for pnd but i haven't heard anything yet!
i've felt abit better over the last week and thought it would sort its self out but the past couple of days i've felt really low again and i just really want this assessment so i can try and start to feel happy again, i'm so fed up of being fed up!! just want to enjoy my little boy!
trouble is i put a front on infront of people esp docs and i can't seem to open up and say exactly how i'm feeling and i'm afraid i won't get the help i'm so desperate for!!
Feb 21, 2008 7:01PM
Hi Sam, i put on a good show for everyone, even my hubby but one morning i just snapped and cried and cried and cried, if he had gone to work that day i really dont know what i would have done, i wouldnt have harmed my baby but i think i would have been dangerous to be left alone as i was so depressed i think i would have done something stupid to myself.
Try and open up, its so hard not being able to talk about it. Gary is the only one who knows i have pnd, my mum dosnt know and we are so close, im afraid she would be ashamed of me.
Marsha im glad you feel so much better, im glad the girls slept all night for you, whats your secret? Ellie still isnt sleeping through and she is 4 months tomarrow.
Im glad your mum is getting out, it will be one less thing for you to worry about. I love the girls names, i never heard Tatum before but brianna is georgeous! Where did you find them names? xxx
Feb 22, 2008 12:03PM
I liked Jake and Andrew for boys but i only changed my mind about Ellie a week or so before she was born, i had picked Abbie but everyone knew we liked that name so i wanted something no-one knew about.
Anyway i have to go because im going to my dinner dance tonight and i have to go and get my makeup done. I hope you have a good weekend.
P.s. im glad your mum is ok again. xxx
Feb 22, 2008 3:57PM
had a very very bad day yesterday and by the evening i got hysterical and started hitting my oh!!
he just let me then cuddled me!!! and made him cry because he said he didn't realise how low i was and that he was sorry! he asked me this evening if i had thought about harming myself and i told him i had, which made him really upset! i haven't thought i'm actually going to do it, its just crossed my mind that things would be easier that way, but as soon as i think of oh and lo i know i would never do it!
had an appt at the docs today for another reason but i burst into tears as soon as i saw the nurse and didn't end up talking about what i went there for lol but she was really good and chased up the referal for me as it had been 2 weeks since i saw the doc about it!
i have an appointment for an assessment on wednesday i just pray things will get better then!
I'm worried that if i tell the nurse i have thought about harming myself they may take my baby away, but if i lie they may not realise that i do need help!
Feb 22, 2008 5:09PM
hi thought i would join in
my name is anna my lo is george and is 11 months i was diagnosed 5 months ago with pnd i've been taking fluxotine (prozac)
hi sam you should just tell them the truth about how your feeling just let it all hang out that way they can assess you properly and get you the help you need, just know your not alone.
i never thought of harming myself but i came very very close to losing my temper with my lo, he use to cry for 15 hrs a day i thought i was losing my mind, we think that maybe he was getting headaches i've been taking him to see a cranial osteopath it's worked wonders.
my turning point when i asked for help was when i tried to leave the country it sound's funny now but i just wanted to escape packed and everything passport at the ready n one foot out the door.
i finally started counselling this week strangely it's over the phone if i want to see somebody face to face i'd have to wait even longer and it's already been 5 months, i think it went well once i started talking i just couldn't stop.
good luck all, talk soon xx
Feb 24, 2008 7:49AM
Hi Marsha, tell your hubby to stop being an insensitive ass and start helping you. He is well intitled to help when he comes home. Tell him that you need a break and to pull his head out of his arse and start being a dad.
Id kill Gary if he told me he would help with Ellie when it suited him. I hope you had a good night out anyway but i wouldnt say sorry to your hubby as it sounds like him that should be appologising to you.
Sorry for the rant, Gary is pissing me off today too. I have an ear infection and im in pain and want to lye down but everytime i do Ellie starts crying and he just sits and does nothing expecting her to shut up! MEN!!!!!
Sam i hope all goes well on Wednesday and im glad your oh knows how your feeling now. I wouldnt worry about telling them you have been having feelings about self harming, they are there to help you and support you. Let me know how you get on hun. xxx
Anna, welcome to our chat, sorry my first post to you was a rant but im not normally so much of a cow, hubby just driving me up the wall today! Look forward to chatting to you. xxx
Feb 25, 2008 8:50AM
Im glad you got it sorted out, im sorry for the rant reply i gave you, i was in such a bad mood with Gary, i could have screamed! My ear is still very sore and i got new tablets this morning so i hope they will help the mood a bit as i know i have been cranky as hell these last few days.
How is your mum now? Have you everything ready for going over to see her? What temp will it be this time of year? xxx
Feb 25, 2008 4:05PM
Your meal sounds lovely. Im glad you two are back on track. Gary said sorry for being so unhelpful over the last few days and i said sorry for being so short tempered and snappy. I explained that i am trying to come off my tablets and i feel a little dejected these past few days. I hope we will be ok after our long talk.
Im glad your mum is doing better, dont worry about getting ready too early, its half the fun of going away!
I would love to get away and i might get to France for a week or so. Will have to see how the money goes over the next few months. xxx
Feb 26, 2008 7:51AM
Saw your posts about PND and just wanted to add my 2 pennies worth....
I have two kids, aged 5 and 18 months. I got PND with BOTH my kids. My first PND took nearly 3 months before it was diagnosed....i didnt eat, didnt speak, didnt want my child...i went to specialist after specialist and no-one diagnosed PND....eventually a gynae took a look at me and immediatley put me on meds....
Second time around, i was much more aware and the PND actually started in hospital about a day after my youngest was born....i still had to wait for a month before the meds would kick in properly....(as i had gone off my meds)....it was the worst month of my life...and it was supposed to be the happiest!
I have just started weaning myself off the meds again...(18 months later)....i still dont understand why i get PND....wish i knew...i has certainly made me fearful of having anymore children!
It has been a very long and LONELY road to recovery!
Best of luck to all the moms still experiencing PND - please email me if you want advice or a chat!
Feb 26, 2008 10:14AM
Hi Jen, i was diagnosed early with pnd, about 3 weeks i think, its very lonely as you say because i didnt want to admit what was wrong with me, i felt ashamed of not bonding with my baby but put on such a good show that everything was ok.
Im glad to hear you are weaning off you tablets, i am too at the minute and feel a little down, not just myself but this time i dont mind spending time with my lo, she is the most important thing in my life and i feel so glad to be fit to say that now as i didnt always. Feel free to drop in a chat anytime. xxx
Feb 26, 2008 3:10PM
Well done to you! Im sure the girls loved the trip. Hows the teething going now? have they any through yet? x
Feb 27, 2008 4:17PM
hi all anna here
had my second counselling session today and she's given me some homework to do i feel like i'm finally making some positive steps, saw my dc yesterday an got more tablets she said next month we will talk about me coming off them, how's that working for you guy's?
she want me to come off them this month but i'm back to work next tuesday for the first time in a year, i'm really dreading it i've been put in a new dept and don't know any one and i'don't even know the job, i'll be a mess by next week.
and just to add to my woe's my grandad's got alzimers (sorry spelling) and my grandma's got bowel cancer so she can't look after him so he's gone into a home and i've just been in for a visit and he's just turned violent on my grandma the look on her face was awful she was so scared, i knew he was bad but i just hadn't seen it with my own eyes, it's taken me 3 hrs but i've finaly stopped crying.
you have my full sympathy over the teething george's first finally came through at 9 1/2 months and he's been getting more this week he's been waking every hr on the hr i haven't had a good nights sleep in 6 days.
were off to the zoo tomorrow for a family day should be fun george thinks animals are hysterical.
talk soon xxx
Feb 27, 2008 5:09PM
Hi Anna, sorry to hear you havnt had much sleep. Im sure work will work out ok and it will take you a while to get back into the swing of things but when you do you will probably enjoy getting out of the house for a while.
I am a lot more tired coming off my tablets and find im getting very sore heads and i know im getting snappy at hubby again but i am trying so hard for all our sakes to try and hold my temper. I always had a short temper but from i was diagnosed with pnd its been better due to the tablets.
Im sorry to hear about your grandparents, it will take time for your gran to take in that her husband is changing and im sure she has a lot of worries on her shoulders without the added strain.
Good luck with the zoo tomarrow, i hope you have a good time. xxx
Marsha, i hope you get your first teeth soon, well not you but you know what i mean. xxx
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