Constantly feel like a rubbish mum!
What the title says basically...
My LO is nearly 6 weeks old and I have been coping well, usually happy just a bit more tearful...but I just can't help worrying what people think, and thinking I must be a bad mother. I know this is a bit irrational as my LO is always changed and fed and bathed.
I think it stems from when I was in the hospital having him, tbh. A stupid woman I know told me (when I was pregnant) that the hospital tended to keep younger mums in longer, and when I mentioned off hand that I'd never changed a nappy, she looked shocked and said Well, they will keep you in hospital at least a week - making me think i must know nothing about babies....
I had a difficult birth and an emergency c section - went onto the ward where all the mums had c sections as well (I had own room though). Most of them stayed in bed for their 2-3 night stays, only getting up to go to the loo etc, and the midwives helped them with their LOs a lot of the time. But I was so scared what they would think about me as a mother (stupid i know) that I was walking 4 hours after the operation...I did everything for my lo never once asked for help, even getting up to feed or change or fetch bottles of milk when I was still attached to catheter and drips. When I left the hospital I felt like i could relax and stop worrying whether or not people thought i was a "bad mum" but this has proved incorrect.
My LO is not a cuddly kind of baby, he doesnt much like being held unless you walk around with him or give him dummy. He is happy to sit in his chair and be talked to or amuse himself lyin on his mat. I keep getting paranoid that he hates me.
Have to go now, he needs feeding but does anyone else feel like this?!?!
My LO is nearly 6 weeks old and I have been coping well, usually happy just a bit more tearful...but I just can't help worrying what people think, and thinking I must be a bad mother. I know this is a bit irrational as my LO is always changed and fed and bathed.
I think it stems from when I was in the hospital having him, tbh. A stupid woman I know told me (when I was pregnant) that the hospital tended to keep younger mums in longer, and when I mentioned off hand that I'd never changed a nappy, she looked shocked and said Well, they will keep you in hospital at least a week - making me think i must know nothing about babies....
I had a difficult birth and an emergency c section - went onto the ward where all the mums had c sections as well (I had own room though). Most of them stayed in bed for their 2-3 night stays, only getting up to go to the loo etc, and the midwives helped them with their LOs a lot of the time. But I was so scared what they would think about me as a mother (stupid i know) that I was walking 4 hours after the operation...I did everything for my lo never once asked for help, even getting up to feed or change or fetch bottles of milk when I was still attached to catheter and drips. When I left the hospital I felt like i could relax and stop worrying whether or not people thought i was a "bad mum" but this has proved incorrect.
My LO is not a cuddly kind of baby, he doesnt much like being held unless you walk around with him or give him dummy. He is happy to sit in his chair and be talked to or amuse himself lyin on his mat. I keep getting paranoid that he hates me.
Have to go now, he needs feeding but does anyone else feel like this?!?!
0
Replies
Kerry xx
Well after i wrote that message I had a really bad day basically! He wouldn't stop crying (because I picked him up), I wouldnt stop crying...argh...He just HATES being cuddled (unless its right after a feed.) I imagined having a lovely cuddly baby but no i have one who just wants to be left alone. I know some people have the opposite problem tho, i guess its worse for them.
I think it might be because hes discovering movement, and is really wriggly, maybe he just wants to move rather than be restrained by someone holding him? But I feel like I'm clutching at straws and the real reason is because he just doesnt like me?
I agree with you about them being more rewarding as they grow - it's nice when they're tiny (not that Gabe ever was, haha) but horrible when they're crying and you don't know why.
This sounds really nasty to wish time away but we saw a couple at the weekend with a 6 month old and he was so smiley and funny, playing with everything and it makes me think I wish Gabe was a bit older so I could make him smile like that (he is smiling now, but not often yet).
I don't think it is nasty to wish he was bigger, newborn babies are such hard work and really you don't get anything back at all. I am really excited about number 2 arriving but at the same time I am a bit nervous about the first few weeks as I can remember how much hard work it was last time round.
I found that if I took it one day at a time it was easier to get through and then suddenly you wake up one day and think 'god, this is easier than it used to be!' Just remember that he DOES like you, you're his mummy and his favourite person in the world even if it doesn't seem like it, he already trusts you to always be there when he needs you and he couldn't manage without you, he just isn't very good at showing it yet!
xx
I could go on.......... he is 5 mths now and it is still hard work but i feel like i know what i am doing now!
Good luck x