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pnd/anxiety



did anyones pnd hit them the same day their baby was born?

ethan (5mths) was born at 7pm and by the middle of that night i had a major panic attack that felt like it didnt entirely stop for 2 days til i got out of hospital. i have suffered anxiety/pa's in the past but have never experienced anything like this in my life. i was terified id get to the stage where i had to jump out the window to get out..i was also unable to tell anyone how i was feeling for fear that they would think i wasnt a good mum, didnt want the baby or whatever...so i suffered in silence for 2 whole days. i felt relieved when hubbie was there to visit, casue then i felt ethan was safe, casue he didnt just have me to care for him, i felt how could i possibly care for him when im in this mess, and couldnt stop crying thinking im all he has in this hospital and im a mess.

i just kept thinking how the wee thing only has me, and how i am so not good enough.

hes my second and never had anything like this with my first.

the panic attacks and anxiety havent stopped, but i have had both pnd questionnaires and they say its not bad enough score that ive got it, altho i did lie on the first one, then told the truth on the second one and they said my score was getting worse (higher).

i do love ethanand have never felt like i dont want him or that hes ruined my life or anything like that, i just have extreme anxiety in general and esp a few days before period, and first few days after it comes i feel terrible, like i cant be like this anymore and cant cope.

i feel like im getting worse and have gp appt on thurs. im scared to say how i really feel. i think theylly think im silly for waiting 5 mths to say anything.

please help, i cant stoip crying worrying about why im like this x

Replies

  • Hi Laura,

    I just wondered how you were getting on? Don't feel silly for not saying anything for 5 months. You can get help so that you enjoy the next 5 months more. Do be honest with the doc or HV if you can as it will only help you and your LO.

    Take care,

    Jo x
  • hello laura i had my baby a year a ago on new years day.. mine started the day i waked out of the hospital i got home and had a really funny headache i didnt tell anyone how i felt i kept crying but than in april i got worse my body started shaking and i didnt no what was happening i would get in the car just to be out the house i live about 30 miles awayfrom my mum and dad and i would drive up there and just sit near the shops i hated been left on my own.. my mum said i had to go the docs right away i sat worrying that they would take my beautifull baby but the docter took my blood preesure and said to me claire you have severe aniexty he said my body had been taken over and i would take about a year to get over it... please see your docter just sooo you can live the res of your life like you use to and with your beautifull children i have been naughty and nt been back and i am suffering terribly, but like you i am scared i can always tell everyone else what to do but not myself.. when your feeling alone just think loads of people have it i found a lovely site that tells you what you could do maybe go swimming or have a little time to your self. they wont judge you they wil help you.. if your like me i kept it hidden and my poor husband thought it was the time of the month everyday because thats now it made me feel.. i am back to th docs on monday 5th jan for a talk with doc i will message you how i got on we are here for you... i think us woman worry more than husband... sorry to go on but i wanted you not to be alone
    love claire poppy maisie x
  • Hi - I would just like to say that i can totally see where you are coming from, i have suffered from panic attacks and anxiety attacks since the birth of my first daughter 12 years ago. For me it started where if i was left alone i'd freak out and panic and was convinced i was going to die and my daughter would be on her own. I'd put my baby in the pram and just walk and walk so i was always around someone, then it started to get worse and i started thinking about "what if" i freaked out so bad that i harmed my baby (even tho deep down i never would). I didnt want to tell anyone incase they thought i was a danger to my daughter. in the end i told my parents and once i'd told them it was alot easier to go to see my doctor, and at first i did hold back on the info i gave, but then one day i just sat with my doctor and told him everything i was feeling without holding anything back, and from that moment i felt a weight lifted, i realised that he was there to help me and not judge me. i still have the odd panic attack now but i can control them so they dont get too bad, i have a 4 week old baby and while i was in hospital with him i started to have them again but just for a night, maybe its to do with hormone change, and tiredness. Anyhow the bit of advice i can give is that its ok to talk about it, dont hide anything from your doctor as they will help you in the right way once they know all the facts, talking and getting everything out in the open makes a huge difference and then you'll ask yourself why you didnt do it sooner.

    Nat x x
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