An overwelming urge
I was diagnosed with PND 2 months ago when my son was 8 months old, I'm currently taking anti d's and I am receiving counselling. Before I was diagnosed I was having horrible thoughts about harming myself and that something terrible was going to happen where my son would be taken from me or that I was going to be taken away from my son. These thoughts are gradually fading however, tonight when I was drying the pots, I picked up a knife that was on the draining board to dry and I had this horrible thought about stabbing myself and what would happen. Of course I didn't do it but I'm scared. What if I have no control over it next time? Its like I have these voices in my head telling me everything is going to be ok if I just end it!How awful is that. My son and my husband need me and i'm thinking of ending it all.
I was going to call my husband home from work as I was so scared that I could actually do something like that. I will mention it to my counsellor the next time I see her.