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INLAWS
Hi really need to get this of my chest mdoctor has said that i have poatnatal depression and that i sould start to tell peoe how i feel but i cant
Anyway i got my OH nan camin over to stay tonight but i really dont want her to.
You see when i went into labour with sean, i did plan for my mum and my OH to be my birth partners. But when i was in the labour room his nan, sister and mum all came in and they stay outside the room intill i give birth. I had soo much drugs put in me that i was out of it but when i did give birth to sean the baby doctor btake him away to test his blood (just to check his platelets.) When i was havin my stitches put in my OH nan, sister and mum all walk in again to see the baby left the door wide open now bear in mind that i was having my stitches done with my legs open. The nurses were going mad and his sister turn round and said "IT DOESN T MATTER WE ARE ALL GIRLS" My mum was going nuts, then his mum pick up sean even when i hadn t even had a hold of him, i didnt even know what he look like, then she was havin pictures with him. After 10 minutes she had the cheek to ask me if i wanted a hold, then telling me that i was holding him wrong i was so close to tears.
Ever since then all his family have been trying to take over and instead of me speaking i didn t i keep it all in. All i wanted to tell them was that i wanted to bond with sean and it felt like they didnt want me to, I hurt my OH because i was getting so mood with him and taking everything out on him that we all most did break up, when i couldn t take anymore i told him how i was feeling i he said that i hurt him by not talking to but i didnt feel i could talk to anyone, i felt like i was in a black hole were i couldnt get out. So my OH take me to see my doctor and she said i have postnatal depression and instead of my keeping it in i had to tell people hoe i feel but i cant, i have only been on these tablets for 2 days and they still dont seem like they are working.
My OH told his family about my depression and wat they have to stop taking over and they wasnt allow to pick sean up without asking me first but they are still not taking any notice. But now his nan is staying over so she can sort her new house out and i feel like i going to go back down hill why wouldn t they like me bond with sean he is my first child not theirs. All i want to do is get better not go back into that dark hole again.
Really sorry it is soo long but i really did need to get it off my chest i do feel a lil better writing all this down instead of locking it away.
Thank you
Fiona and Sean
Anyway i got my OH nan camin over to stay tonight but i really dont want her to.
You see when i went into labour with sean, i did plan for my mum and my OH to be my birth partners. But when i was in the labour room his nan, sister and mum all came in and they stay outside the room intill i give birth. I had soo much drugs put in me that i was out of it but when i did give birth to sean the baby doctor btake him away to test his blood (just to check his platelets.) When i was havin my stitches put in my OH nan, sister and mum all walk in again to see the baby left the door wide open now bear in mind that i was having my stitches done with my legs open. The nurses were going mad and his sister turn round and said "IT DOESN T MATTER WE ARE ALL GIRLS" My mum was going nuts, then his mum pick up sean even when i hadn t even had a hold of him, i didnt even know what he look like, then she was havin pictures with him. After 10 minutes she had the cheek to ask me if i wanted a hold, then telling me that i was holding him wrong i was so close to tears.
Ever since then all his family have been trying to take over and instead of me speaking i didn t i keep it all in. All i wanted to tell them was that i wanted to bond with sean and it felt like they didnt want me to, I hurt my OH because i was getting so mood with him and taking everything out on him that we all most did break up, when i couldn t take anymore i told him how i was feeling i he said that i hurt him by not talking to but i didnt feel i could talk to anyone, i felt like i was in a black hole were i couldnt get out. So my OH take me to see my doctor and she said i have postnatal depression and instead of my keeping it in i had to tell people hoe i feel but i cant, i have only been on these tablets for 2 days and they still dont seem like they are working.
My OH told his family about my depression and wat they have to stop taking over and they wasnt allow to pick sean up without asking me first but they are still not taking any notice. But now his nan is staying over so she can sort her new house out and i feel like i going to go back down hill why wouldn t they like me bond with sean he is my first child not theirs. All i want to do is get better not go back into that dark hole again.
Really sorry it is soo long but i really did need to get it off my chest i do feel a lil better writing all this down instead of locking it away.
Thank you
Fiona and Sean
0
Replies
I had a traumatic end to my labour and there is no way i would have wanted anyone in the room with me a part from my oh especially when your being stitched up!
Your inlwas are being totally ignorant and thoughtless...no wonder you have PND. It is true talking about it will help if only to have a rant, you've made the first step by seeing GP. Your OH needs to make sure that his parents etc understand what PND is and how they must back off and let you and your oh bond with baby Sean. Remember its not their right to hold him and fuss etc its a privelage that should not be taken for granted.
Good luck lovely, I hope things lighten up soon for you xxx
PS it can take up to 2-3 weeks for the tablets to kick in. x
Hope you get some space and respect from them soon - it's not fair that they force their opinions on you just because they had children all that time ago.
I would have totally flipped by now so you're doing well to keep it together.
Just remember that if you don't put your foot down now they'll take advantage until he's grown up. He's YOUR baby and YOU decide who gets to hold him, kiss him, fuss him etc.
Hope you getting enough support from your oh now. xx
Hmm
Could go on for hrs but advice is to speak to mil in private and explain how traumatised you were and try not to blame her just say that you need to bond with him etc and though you appreciate her advice (sticking nose in) you want to learn on own.
Good luck.Please let us know how you fare x xx
how old is your l/o?
you have every right to say that you want time just the 3 of you so you can bond as a little family and don't want people round all the time, you not up to it, feeling low etc.
how long will hubby's nan be staying for? (could she stay somewhere else?)
good luck hun **big hugs**
I've have always got on with his nan so when it was just me and her i tried to tell how i was feeling and told her about my depressian and i told that what happen at the hospital has made it worse, i told her i was having nightmares because of the way my labour turn out. But then his nan said that i should just get over it because when she moves into her house she doing a room out for sean to sleep so she can have him for a couply of days. i told her there was no way i will be letting him go she said i had to get over it because she his nan. When my OH came in i told him what his nan how said and he did stand by me and told her that we are both not ready for sean to go anywere without us. And sean wouldnt be staying over her house intill he is much older. And i really dont think she like it.
When my OH mum and dad came round my OH told them about my depressian and how i was feeling and they both said they understand and they will take it slow with me. I never throught his mum would be the one to understand, she now askeds me if she can hold him and when i say no she just smiles and says its fine. The only trouble i am having is my OH sister and nan at the moment.
Thank you everyone who replyed it did really help. Im just glad im not the only one going through this and i am glad i have got friends who know how i am feeling and know what i am going through. thank you.
Sean is 3 months on the 13 may.
Love fiona xxxxxxxxx
Also i know it's probably not on your mind right now but if you do have a second i am pretty sure you can be specific with your midwives as to who can be let in and when, they should have your best interests in mind not the other parties!
good luck, take care and thinking of you
your half way there with the family! and at least o/h is sticking up for you with his nan so she's just going to have to live with it isn't she!! lol!
enjoy your l/o hun =D
how you doing at the minute?
I hope every1 else is havin a gd time with the weather.
Thank you all so much for helping it means a lot to me.
love Fiona and baby sean xxx
Families can be so difficult to deal with but u had the support of ur oh and that always makes a difference. And a happy belated 3 month b'day wish to Sean xxx