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I don't want to feel like this


My LO is seven weeks old and I am beginning to feel like a failure of a mother, all because she is a bit restless at night after her feed. My OH doesn't help much by saying things such as I upset the baby, that maybe he should take time off work to look after her if I can't cope. Last night he even suggested that I go back to work and he look after her. I am beginning to resent him and find holding a conversation with him such a chore. I love my baby to bits and would do anything for her, but I feel as if I don't know what I am doing and maybe I should let OH give it a go. I don't go out of the house, I don't see anyone as all my friends work full time and are busy, my OH is out from 7am till 6 pm so I am all alone with the baby. I don't know what to do I resent family coming to visit as they never did before but now they do and all they are bothered about is the baby. I am beginning to feel as if I should go back to work as she will be better off without me if I feel like this.

Sorry I am rambling

Kelly x

Replies

  • Hi Kelly

    I totally understand how you feel. Please feel free to email m for a chat xxx
  • Hi Kelly
    Do you see anyone from your ante natal classes? I think you need to get out and meet some other new mums. talk to your health visitor. She may know of local mother and baby groups that you could join. If you feel nervous about this ask if your mum or OH could come too.
    everyone feels a bit overwhelmed and like they don't know what they are doing at first. But it will get better.
    hugs,
    Lauren
  • HI Kelly. I felt the same when my little one was born. My DH seemed to be much better with Ollie that I was and I just felt panicky all the time. What has helped me the most, is getting out. I am lucky in that I do have a few friends with babies, but I have also gone along to local baby groups and postnatal groups and have just joined Waterbabies. It is scary at first, especially when I felt so fat and had no confidence, but I have met some lovely people and made really good friends with one girl, and we see each other lots. All I can say is, force yourself to go along to whatever groups you can find. It will help to realise that most Mums feel the same way and you aren't the only one, I promise. Ollie is 4 months old now and I finally feel confident in dealing with him., I promise it gets better, despite me not believing everyone when they told me it would!!!
  • Bless you!! you sound perfectly flipping normal to me!

    I'd like to bop your bloke over the head! you are doing a fantastic job! alone with a new baby all day? and you aren't totally doolally!!?? my hat goes off to you.

    My suggestion is to tell your bloke "thanks for your support darling? shut up and I'm fantasic mother thank you very much, babies do get restless you know, you stick to what your best at and so will I!" lol

    I feel exactly the same about family suddenly wanting a piece of you (only so they can get their sticky mitts on our babies!!) do they think we are stupid??! because I like my baby with me ALL the time (thats why I had her) and am very happy about it thank you! my mum tries every sly trick in the book to get my baby away from me so she can play dollys and push my pram round town reliving her youth or something weird!! she' even thought seriously about buying one of those lifelike baby dolls that are handmade by some looneytoon that can be modelled on actual photographs of dead babies! ?? nice!? not. She even tried paying me off to take my other son to the cinema so she could have my baby! when I turned it round on her "well YOU take him to cinema you haven't done anything with him for years" I then got "oh no I couldn't sit in the cinema chairs" excuses excuses! "but I'll give you all the money to go and I'll have the baby while your gone" KISS MY **** nice try!!

    Take my advice and get OUT THE HOUSE! go out, and get busy, it lifts my spirits no end when I'm feeling naffed off with everyone, just go and window shop, go to tesco for some milk and bread, go to Mothercare/babies r us for a browse around, walk to a park, or go for a drive, get yourself busy!

    I've heard on here there are now special cinema opening for mummies with babies too (might have to google it though)
    Also google your local surestart centre, its where I have to go to see my Health Visitor and get baby weighed. Theres loads of like minded mums depserate for an adult to talk to!! sometimes they can be 'clicky' but just introduce yourself or get your health visitor to to break the ice! my local place even do a buggy push parade! where they go for planned walks and stuff, what about that.
    However I honeslty am very happy with just my own company most of the time! I dont have many friends myself, in fact about two! but I hardly see them, they have jobs and kids themselves, or try and get me out for a night out drinking! (no thanks!)

    If your OUT when annoying in-laws etc turn up at your door, it s bloody big bonus in my book lol!!

    How old is your little one? my daughter is 16 weeks and one day! she's restless after feeds, unless its the dream feed between 10pm-11pm she is zonkoed and doesn't even opened her eyes for it lol!! I let her go on the floor on her back or belly and kick away most of the evening so she knackers herself out! then put her in bed now at about 7.30pm, sometimes she goes to sleep sometimes she kicks about until she's out like a light.

    I'm no where near a perfect mother, but I have confidence that i'm a good one! you just need to believe in yourself which must be hard if your bloke is knocking your confidence like that.

    I have to say she sleeps better and is better rested on days that I take her out round the shops, or out for fresh air! I have a 7 year old so I have no excuses, I HAVE to go out to do school runs, although my hubby does the morning run, I do the afternoon one!

    You'll be fine I reckon, just get yourself some fresh air and do some walking and window shopping and see how you both feel, I guarantee you'll feel happier and your little cutie will be happier too!! xx

  • sorry just looked again it it already said your little one is 7 weeks, please forgive my scattyness lol xxx
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