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pnd or not?

Hiya,

It's taken me a while to actually admit that i have a problem!! My baby girl is just over 4 weeks old & although i was elated after the birth was so down also...i cried lots in the 1st days but thought it must just be baby blues!! well 4 weeks on i'm still feeling bad. I feel like i don't love my daughter & just tend to her every need as i have to but find no joy in any of it! if i could get my hubby or mum to do all the work then i would be happier. The times when i have gt my mum over so that i can have a nap i have just sat upstairs watching the tv & have taken it as an oportunity to get away from the baby & not a time to recharge, baby has a cold at the moment so i know things are harder & they would get to the best of people...but maybe not as much as me. I love it when she is asleep & i went out for a 3 mile walk with her today which was lovely....but still feel down.
Should i talk to HV first or just head for the dr's? I am keeping all of this from my hubby...i feel like i will be disapointing him if i have pnd!
Has anyone else felt like this?
Thanks loads I'm in dire need of a cheer up & for someone to say that i am still human feeling like this
x x Lucy

Replies

  • I've not had a baby yet but I have been depressed before and not taking any pleasure in activities is a sign that things are not great. Its hard work and if you have support of husband and mum about you, you should feel no shame in speaking up about how you are feeling and coping because the sooner you say the quicker you can have help and support... You just did a whole pregnancy, you made a baby, its a tired draining thing to do, don't feel bad, talk to your doctor.

    I hope it all improves for you, x
  • Hi,
    Would totally agree with pumpkin8 talking to someone will make the difference, just up to you to decide who and when. I think you've made the first and sacriest step of writing it all down on here-so well done.
    Let us know how you get on and good luck x
  • Hi

    That sounds really normal - wanting to be away from your baby is a natural reaction for some of us!!.

    I saw my GP with symptoms of PND but just got prescribed medication - going to a new mums group run by the HV and nursey nurse was much more helpful as i was ale to get some perspective and realsie that it was just taking me longer to adjust to the new life that some mums.

    Good luck hope you find something in your area which helps you.
  • Thanks girls. I have made an appointment to see my gp next Tues. I feel a little better at the moment (sods law after making appt) but thinking i should still just get myself checked as thinking maybe all is still not right.
    I started going to a mummy group on Monday which helped a little..was nice to be around other new mums whose lives are the same as mine at the moment!! I am going to mention things to the hv tomorrow also as i feel as though i've been holding things back from her too.
    I am having a couple of hours at work tomorrow just to go over a few things..i'm thinking this will do me the world of good, just a chance to get back to''normal'' for a couple of hours!!
    I'll let you know how i get on at dr's
    x x
  • Hiya

    I can totally relate to how you are feeling, I had a lo on 5 January, at 28 weeks, and she finally came home yesterday. I thought I would be elated, but I just feel like I am in someone elses life and that I can't do this. I look after her, change her, feed her and want to protect her but I just don't feel like she is mine, I never felt that rush of love that mums talk about and that makes me feel so guilty, after all she has been through, she has fought hard to be here today, and she needs her mummy but I just don't feel like I am giving her what she needs. I especially dread evenings/night times. I haven't told anyone how I am feeling, I want to but am afraid they will think I am being stupid and I don't want everyone talking about me. WE haven't even told our family that she is home yet. what should I do? sorry to be jumping in Lucyloo xx
  • sorry to hear you're feeling similar fist time...it is soo hard isn't it!!! I am feeling alot better now BUT i still went to the dr! the first step is admitting a problem so well done on that. My dr is sending me to a counsellor also he got my hv to get me into more goups as he thinks my problem can be helped by mingling with other mummies!! i have no mates with kids (despite being nearly 30) so the groups have helped loads! i'm off to one on Friday & i am actually lookign forward to it already! don't get me wrong it is no way a cure & i still feel awful & will be going back to the drs but it has helped to meet other mums who even though aren't feeling like i do are somewhat going through the same things as me (night feeds, coping with crying etc)
    Hope you are feeling better soon. Go & speak to your dr...you WILL feel better for it! i bust out in tears & felt bettter after i talked it through! but tbh i told my hubby after i went to the dr's so wish i had spoke to him first!! i'm here if you want to talk as you sound like you're on the same wavelength as me
    x x x x x x
  • Hi Lucyloo,
    So glad going to the drs was the right thing for you to do and you've talked to your hubby. Getting out and about has to help too.
    I know when I've had a busy day out and about I feel better than a busy day in the house if that's makes sense?! Take care and glad things are looking brighter xx
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