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motivation needed!!

Hi.. I've been on anti-ds for about 6 weeks now and I'm not showing any real signs of improving apart from the fact I haven't been able to cry even though I've wanted to. I've been seeing my doc and my hv every week but I think they are starting to lose patience with me.....

The doc said today that I need to give myself a very big kick up the backside and I know shes right but how do I go about doing that when I have no enthusiasm for anything at the mo. :cry:

This sounds really vain but I've put on a ton of weight and I feel too embarassed to go out - I feel everyone is going to look at me and think what a fat cow I am.... but it still doesn't stop me from eating and staying in - which of course isn't helping. Before I had my 2 youngest I was a fit teacher who was constantly active with a good social life - now I'm about 4 stone over weight and I never go anywhere. Help!!!

Has anyone got any tips to help me please. Thank you xx

Replies

  • I need some too. I am starting to feel lots better as in I am starting to feel more normal now and happier (think am coming to terms with all the changes I struggled with.) But I need to get out and do things with myself. I've always been overweight but cause of all the jellyness and stretchmarks it really bothers me now. Never really did befor. Everywhere I seem to look is full of really glamorous Mum's and I just feel a mess.
    Although i feel better in myself I still feel like going out is a huge effort and I keep putting off doing things. Sorry i've just rambled and not offering much help.
    Is there anyone you could arrange to do something with as a regular thing. I used to meet up with my cousin and her baby once a week and although half the time I didn't feel like it she would drag me out and i felt loads better after it. Unfortunatly she's gone back to work now but my Auntie looks after the baby now so i try to go and visit her once a week. It does make a difference getting out and if ur anything like me It's so much easyer with someone else x
  • Really, the only advice I can offer is to take a day at a time and start small. Nothing is gonna happen overnight! Start by setting urself a target - something simple like going to the corner shop, buying something and getting home without panicing. It may not sound like a huge deal but setting an achievable goal to start with will gradually boost ur confidence.

    Weight is weight and is dealable with but u need that little confidence boost to help u remember u are in control not ur worries and fears! One trick I learnt a cpl years ago - when you feel the urge to eat something outside of mealtimes, drink a large glass of water. 1. it will fill you up quickly so ease that need & 2. sometimes that urge for food may be because ur dehydrating slightly so the water counteracts that. I found that most of the time, it did help plus water is a good cleanser so helps anyway.

    Sorry for long post and hope there's something in there somewhere that mite help. Take Care xx
  • I can relate with how you're feeling about motivation, I too have lost the ability to motivate myself to do anything. I had a good couple of weeks when I first started the anti-d's, but now 6 weeks on I've lost any confidence that I started to gain.
    Talking it over with my HV I know exactly what I should be doing, like Mummy X said little and often, but I just don't seem to be able to even do that, its like some invisible force that is stopping me from getting my arse into gear, I really want to I just can't???
    I'm going too see if I can either up the anti-d's or change to something that might be more effective, in the meantime I'm going to try and force myself to go out for a 10 min walk with Oscar each day and see how that goes.
    Hope you have some luck in finding motivation, if so, let me know what works!!!:\)

    Jen x x
  • Thank you everyone. I feel exactly the same Jen - its so frustrating isn't it.... the doc said she felt sorry for my 'poor husband' as it must be horrible living with someone who was 'so unenthusiastic about life' - that made me feel soooo better!! lol I will let you know if I find anything that works. x
  • Gee Emalenna, with a doc saying motivational stuff like that u don't need enemies do you! It is sooooo hard and I think sometimes the 'professionals' kinda forget this. I was quite lucky as my dh was able to take time off to help look after me and the children while I battled with the 'demon' - I think that helped as it was a constant reminder that i wasn't alone. And it was really nice when I managed to achieve a goal I'd set and come home and share it with him there and then as it also helped to see him as happy for me as I was for myself!
  • oooo, just thought, have you asked about changing the pills to a diff brand? not everybody gets on with the same ones and sometimes can take 2 or 3 tries b4 u find the one suited to you. mite be worth asking, although i mite ask a diff doc lol
  • I can't believe your doctor said that!! Some doctors obviously have no idea!! It makes me so mad when people say stuff like that, how on earth do they think that its going to make us suddenly feel better or for us to just snap out of it, as if its that easy!?!?!:x
    My mum and hv used to say similar things, like "this must be hard on Ant (my oh)", and " you don't want to keep being like this, think of Ant, "you won't find many oh that would be so sympathetic". and my hv always looks at my oh in such a pitying way when she comes to visit.
    As if we don't feel guilty enough for the way we feel, they just seem to slap on more! We know how wonderful our oh are, I wish it was that easy to stop feeling this way, if it was there wouldn't be a problem!
    Definitely try and get to see another doctor, you need someone who is going to support you, and who knows more about pnd and how to treat it.

    Take care, and hope tomorrow is a good day!
    Jen x x
  • Thank you..... this is my 2nd type of anti-ds - the first lot I was on gave me panic attacks so I was put on these ones about 6 weeks ago (didn't mention the others as I was only on them 2 weeks so I don't think it really counts!). If I don't feel any better by next week the doc is going to change them again.

    Jen... My mum hasn't passed any comment as I haven't told her... I live far enough away from her for her not to see me too regularly and I only call her when I'm having a 'good' moment. My mum's a bit like yours though - she doesn't think to much about whats she's saying!! Fortunately my hv is brill - unfortunately shes emigrating to canada in a couple of weeks - I don't think it has anything to do with me!! lol

    Hope everyone has a great weekend
    Em x

    I really do appreciate all your comments.... thank you
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