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Just some advice

Hey ladies

I am so tired today from all the argueing last night.

I have the most gorgeous baby,great partner and nice home. Things I have never had before. My birthday is coming up this friday. I thought I was happy. But I cry cause I dont have timeto shower.Do my nails,my hair,my make up.do exercise to loose weight. Cant go for walks with my girl cause as soon as I put her down in the pushchair she screams. And unlike like other babies. She doesnt stop.

I go through the list over and over again. Everything covered. and she would scream all the way home after I did some shopping. People stare atme cause I amjust pushing her. Not checking her. One lady had thehodasity to stop me and say you do realise you baby is screaming for your attention.

My fiance and I had the perfect relationship. Well the best I have ever had. Now when we argue he gets so angry. SHouts and threatens to leave me. Tells me I'm destroying everytrhing. We cant get on....


If we cant make it througth this? how are we ever going tomake it?

Please giveme somecomfort oradvice from some experience

Replies

  • Hi Tashy

    How old is your lo. When you said she cries and unlike other babies doesnt stop, just to let you know, my girl was the same and sometime still is. You are not alone with that. I know it feels like she may be the only baby like that, (i know i did) but i know at least one other baby girl who is the same

    I was in morrisons a few weeks and a woman stopped to stare at me and Holly coz she started kicking off, actually stopped to stare. I ran out in tears.

    .I dont know what to say about the relationship issues. I've had issues of my own but i didnt talk and just cried.

    Have you tried talking to you oh and telling him how you feel.

    My lo is 15 months. I ended up going to see a doc when she was 4 months old and was given some medication and i'm now seeing a councillor.

    Have you had a chat with your hv or doc yet. If not perhaps, if you feel like you can, miby make an appointment.

    Sorry if i havn't been helpful but wanted to let you know you are not alone with the way you are feeling. I cried one time because i put my slippers on the wrong feet.

    Things are hard when you have a baby, trying to get washed is such an effort now and i cant remember the last time i blowdried my hair.

    You prob think i'm just babbling now.

    If you need to talk we are here, please take care.

    Lynda and Holly xxx
  • Me and oh fought so much when Rhys was first born as I was so snappy and resented him so much for having a normal life whilst I felt stuck at home with a baby and no time to do anything. Things got so bad with us (that's why I ended up going docs in first place and getting diagnosed) at one point I told him that Rhys wasn't his (he is) just to hurt him. He ended up going to stay with his mum for awhile as he couldn't cope with me, but now everything is getting back to normal with us.
    It's so stressful with lo but honestly it does get better. I was put on tablets when lo was 8weeks old and have decided to see how I go on without them. lo is now 6 mnths and am feeling lots better.
    I know it's sp cliched but honestly the best thing to do is talk to ur fiance about it all as it does help so much. If he realises how difficult you find it to do things he may be more understanding and it may give him chance to talk to u if he's finding it hard.

    Sorry if iu've been no help whatsoeva.

    As for going out with lo screaming i'm sure it's hard but don't give up. As long as you know everthings fine ignore what anyone else says. Eventually lo will get used to it. x
  • Hi tashy1,

    One suggestion to try regarding the constant crying when out - have you tried a baby sling or carrier? If she's fairly content at other times it may just be that going out etc scares her a little and that having contact with you might help. I know with a sling or carrier you don't exactly rest but you will feel more comfortable in urself coz she's not screaming. My youngest has a thing about lifts, buses and trains and we have to either hold him or sit so he can see us and one of us has to be touching him till we're back in the open.

    With regards to all the other stuff hun, try not to feel guilty - it's not ur fault. I really do think you need to speak to gp or hv thou and explain how you feel. It does sound like PND but they'll know for def. Talking to people that understand does help a bit. I was an AD's for about 8 months and for me, they just helped me regain some control on my life, enuff to then start working on other things like taking care of myself and being able to cope without oh. I would also say try and get ur oh to go with you to gp as it does sound like he is stressed as well, prob because he doesn't understand why ur feeling like this and doesn't know how to help you. If he's with you when gp or hv go thru things, it mite help him understand a little better. x
  • aww hun **huge hug** its normal to feel trapped when you have a baby and don't get 2 seconds to yourself, you sound like you really need sometime to yourself, even if its just for a long hot bath and a bit of pampering!! could o/h look after l/o in the evenings sometimes?
    i like the sling idea for taking l/o out! do you think that would work? i'd also recommend internet shopping to anyone!!!!!

    i don't think men can understand hormones etc. and thinks why are you not happy when you've got your perfect lil' family... but, we all know thats not what the problem is... i actually think men think we should be happy to stay home all day raising our l/o's and looking after the house and nothing else... erm, i don't think so! we need our own time too and to not forget who we were before l/o arrived

    am i rambling? o.k bye bye hun, we are here if you need a chat =D
  • Hello ladies.....

    Thank you so much for the encouraging words. I have been to see my counsellor. And she says it's cause I am not attending baby groups and couped up in the house all day.

    They have offered some pills, but last time I was on pills I ended up overdosing and in hospital. So I dont think I need to take them again. I will go with the option of councelling for now.

    I just wanted to say if I was going out meeting you ladies everyday or having you over I might have a better time coping. Some of the ladies I walk past in this area makes me think I would rather sit indoors and feel sorry for myself. They seem a bit clicky. I am new to this area and just feel a little lonely. But I will have a lok around and see what there is.


    Seeing as that is supposed to help me.

    Thank you once again. I dont know where I would be without the ladies here!!!

    Lots of hugs to you all
    Tash
  • Really hope the councilling works for u hun x
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