Bad day!

i have had another day from hell. I dont actually think things could get any worse in terms of emtional distress. I'm struggling to maintain sanity! I keep having suicidal thoughts and they just wont go away. I try to block them out. I also think to myself, 'it's my illness, it's the PND' but its so hard. Maybe the medication isn't working properly. I have booked a doctors appointment on Tuesday so i can discuss it then. But i'll just have to keep strong over the weekend.
The weird thing is i worked for many years with people with mental illnesses, people who self harmed, people who had personality disorders and generally with every problem going. I used to support them and guide them through the difficult times. Now i'm going through it myself!
I really appreciate this site. For the first time in what seems an enternity of distress i have a outlet. Sorry for being so depressed.