Will I ever cope again??
Background is I suffer from Bi-polar disorder so had to come off meds to ttc and while I was pregnant. Few major upsets from last nov meant I was depressed before the birth of DS2 - I also had severe hyperemesis, ds2 was born premature and not breathing with no heartbeat and was in NICU/SCBU. I didn't bond with him immediately like I did with DS1 but have now - I love him to pieces. In June, when ds2 was 8 weeks old, I had a nervous breakdown and have been in hospital since - got out on wednesday.
Before now, being a mum was what I was good at - calm, patient,able to look after the house and child etc but since I came home I'm finding it all such an awful struggle, ds1 is understandably clingy and is being a bit too overbearing when it comes to demanding attention,ds2 is now an easy baby but he still has needs. I just feel like I'm running around in circles and was so desperate for DH to come home tonight, nothing major happened, I just felt like I couldn't cope at all. I feel so useless....
Before now, being a mum was what I was good at - calm, patient,able to look after the house and child etc but since I came home I'm finding it all such an awful struggle, ds1 is understandably clingy and is being a bit too overbearing when it comes to demanding attention,ds2 is now an easy baby but he still has needs. I just feel like I'm running around in circles and was so desperate for DH to come home tonight, nothing major happened, I just felt like I couldn't cope at all. I feel so useless....
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Replies
Some time has passed since you posted and i hope things are improving. it is natural for you to find it hard, your out of the routine but i hope things are begining to settle?
coming out of a breakdown is a hard enough task anyway, let alone with the added responsibilities of being a mum. cld you return to hospital once a week or so as a voluntary patient?
I sorry that i dont really know much about bi polar, my sister has BPD, bordeline personality disorder and has spent quite a bit of time in hospital, so i only have a very small understanding.
sending you big hugs xxDBxx