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can anyone admit they wanted the other sex?

i have been through exactly the same J and it is horrible, my husband would not even discuss it... it took a lomg time for me to deal with but eventually i fell again and had my second healthy little girl, you wont ever forget but when you fall again and have a healthy baby it eases the pain, and im sure if you stay positive you will have a great future pregnancy.
Take Care
Alex

Replies

  • This sounds awful as I type. I don't have post n dep but I knoe things aren't 100% right and I am still bonding with my son who was born by emergency c section. I was under a general so not seeing him born was a big upest to me and then he was critically ill for 2 weeks with us not knowing how he was going to be at the end of it all. There are so may issues I caould go on and on but I also know that deep deep down I wanted a little girl. I love my son, and somehow knew I would have a boy and am proud of him but sometimes get a bit down thinking about the missed experiences of bonding mother to daughter. It sounds awful and so so selfish. I would also hate to have another baby and then have another boy as I know I would be disappointed. Has anyone else felt like this? I have nothing against boys and in an ideal world would love 1 of each.
  • I think initially I was a little disapointed I had a boy because I was so convinced I was having a girl. Also oh really wanted a girl and I know it's ridiculous cause he loves our little boy yo bits but I feel guilty that I had a boy not a girl (ridiculous as I know I had no control over it) so in a way I do kinda understand how u are feeling but I've never been able to mention it befor not even to oh x
  • Hi guys, i always said i had a preferance and wanted a boy! LOL I had the most beautiful little girl. I cant say it bothers me either way, infact now id like another girl so i can use all Ellie clothes again as they are all only worn once due to huge amounts given.
    I would also still love a little boy and as you said in an ideal world i would have one of each, dont feel guilty about wantin the other sex, its normal and its like when your pregnant and everyone asks you what you want and everyone says they just want a healthy baby, i didnt, i said i wanted a boy and everyone looked horrified, why the hell did they ask then?!? After Ellie was born everyone was saying that i must be dissapointed and so on but i just said i wasnt, and i really wasnt but at the early stage i just didnt care at all as my pnd was almost immidiate. x
  • thanks for your honesty. i do feel that part of this feeling is due to the birth and a tough few weeks at the start. he is beautiful but deep down l know would love a little girl too. i think that we are lucky to have him though so am never going to regret his birth.
  • Well as soon as i found out i was pg i thought i was having a boy...i dont know why i thought this but i did. Anyway, at my 14 week scan MW said she could tell the sex if we wanted to know, which we did we couldnt wait to find out, and whn she said a boy i just laid there and said 'oh how exciting' when really i was thinking i wanted a girl. However, 2 days on from that i was sat at home looking at the cutest sonogram and I just started crying cos i couldnt believe how much i was looking forward to having a baby regardless of the sex and how much i loved this little boy inside me! Try not to worry its totally normal to have a preference and the labour deffo makes a difference. When joshua was born, i was still secretly hoping the scan may have been wrong! I had a traumatic labour and didnt bond with joshua straight away cos he was in intensive care etc but about 4-6 weeks later everything fell into place and now i dont know what id do without him he's like my handbag he goes evrywhere with me and id be lost without him! xxx
  • I have a girl,boy, boy then with 4th I really really wanted a girl. Found out at 20 weeks and it was another boy. I was glad all Ok but felt almost like I had lost a daughter (does that make sense) when Charlie was born though I loved him immensely and he is my joy. He was a quick labour and tho I had PPH and was rushed to theatre and he had to have stomach pumped and be put on drip I still bonded with him. With my last and 5th pregnancy I was desp for a girl. So desp that I did not find out as was not sure how I would feel. I thought that if found out at 20 weeks and was a boy I would spend next 20 weeks wishing for a girl and may build resentment for boy? Anyway I then had placenta previa with accreta and was told my life and babies could be at risk. this put it all in perspective and I realised how silly I was been. After bleeding at home at 35 weeks I just wanted the baby and I to be safe. I delivered my baby by emergency section and she was a she...Amelia. However, by this point I was just hoping for a healthy safe baby. She is beautiful. When I was wallowing in pity about wanting another girl i read the TTC or the Miscarriage pages and this made me feel so shallow and made me realise how lucky I was to be preg never mind what sex the baby was.
    If you feel like this I would talk to your HV as you may have form of PND. It is normal though to want a boy or girl and to feel a bit cheated if you dont get what you want BUT as we cant control it we have to accept when we get preg that what will be will be. However, try googling how to conceive a girl and follow any advice......it may work???
    good luck and congratulations on your son.
    dxxxx
  • I have had the same feelings as the others who has posted on this topic. The scan said i was carrying a girl, and that is what i wanted so i was so happy. Family and friends got loads of pretty pink stuff aswell for the baby. Obivsly i had a little boy, and one of my dissapointments was that i couldnt put my baby boy in any of that girly stuff!, it sounds so wrong and so un maternal, and i feel so guilty about it all still. To be honest it took me a long time to get over the fact i never had that little baby girl who i named "mia" and whom i had bonded with whilst pregnant, that little girl never existed! But now Im happy with my boy and if i was to have another boy i would still be happy, i dont think i want a girl as deeply as i did back then.
  • I went for my 12 week scan yesterday to find out that I have had a missed misscarriage at 7 weeks. I cant believe that my life has been turned upside down within 40 mins. What is even more confusing is how the body works. I feel like its all been just a lie and cant believe that I continued to experience all the symptones. I'm off to prepare myself for the next stage. I dont know what to add on the matter but I will write soon.
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