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Trying to fight it

Hi girls. This is the first time I have posted in here & I'm not sure I really should be.

I don't know if i'm depressed but I certainly have a lot of down days but I just try to fight them off.

In the last 3 years my house flooded twice, me had a neighbour from hell who made our life a misery for 7 months (he's gone now but turns out he was dealing drugs from the property as I suspected). My Grandma passed away before my eyes (very close) and a couple of months later my husband of 2 years had a one night stand he insigated through facebook - I found out when Lily was 8 weeks old.

I can't tell you how rough that was. I left him for 8 weeks & totally blanked him. I then started seeing him behind my families back & we were talking about gettting back together (for the record he deeply regrets what happened & says lilys arrival made him realise what he could have lost).

Anyway I got pregnant (by mistake) by the time I discovered this I had already moved back.

My family were very dissapointed & won't have anything to do with my husband.

As you cam imagine this makes life very difficult but I do understand they never want to see him again.

They have now accepted the pregnancy but said they felt this would be the nail in the coffin for my marriage due to the stress that lies ahead.

Most of all I know they will be there for me whether I have 2 kids or 22 and that is so good to know.



I'm sorry for rambling I just needed to get my feelings out cos I feel I have no one to talk to.

I am happy, but I still have times when I can't beleive what he did to me & real attacked of paranoia every time I see him texting or on laptop.

I'm terrified of how we'll cope with 2 kids with a 1 years gap.

I've been back at work full time for 5 weeks after 8 months mat leave & I am so tired, Lilys teething not sleeping great & I feel so resentful of friends who work part time & always seem to have new clothes, nights out etc...



Sorry i've rambled. Does any of this sound familiar or do you think my problems are more specific as apposed to general depression.

P.S. I have had depression before the first time my house flooded & we had to leave it for 6 months.

GG xxx

Replies

  • Hi Golden Girl,



    How are you feeling this week?



    It sounds like you've certainly had a tough time that anyone would find hard but the added pressure of baby makes things seem so much more difficult.



    If you've got a history of depression then it's certainly possible again. I'm not sure how you dealt with it last time, but I would say it's definitely worth talking to your GP or HV about how you're feeling. They can help you and talk about what options you've got in terms of different treatments, or maybe just lend a professional ear for you to talk things through with.



    We're here if you want to chat more



    Take care

    xxx
  • Thanks for the reply.

    Feel a more positive this week although hubby thinks his job might not keep him on (on probationary at the minute).

    Nothing he's done they are just toss pots.

    Anyway he's been head hunted for an even better job so just when things looks shi**y there is always a glimmer of hope.

    DD been diagnosed with Thrush so that would explain why she's been such a handful.



    The whole situation with my folks hating hubby takes its toll as DD's 1st birthday in May & it's so hard to arrnange a party & I just feel stressed about it all the time knowing it will always be like this.



    Maybe when I have a really bad phase I should go to docs.

    I just dont want to be on tablets forever.

    I was on fluoxetine last time & went cold turkey against docs orders, I just hate the thought of getting dependant on them & being a snivelling mess when I do have to come off them.
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