Postnatal depression and anxiety

I've always been a strong person, well I've always thought I was, until I had my daughter. She's currently 7 months old and I constantly have the overwhelming feeling that I'm just not good enough.From the moment I saw her I loved her with all of my heart and suddenly felt a weight placed on my shoulders that I just couldn't let go and still haven't. Long story short because of a quite difficult pregnancy I wasnt able to give birth naturally I couldnt hold her for weeks due to complications and I blamed myself because I felt like I could be the mum she needed me to be I couldnt feed her, change her comfort her to sleep, words cant even describe how happy I was when I could finally hold her for the first time when she fell ill with menigitis again I blamed myself I'm her mum and should have been able to protect her but I had to watch as she was being hooked up to machines. Thankfully she's now well but I cant stop goong back to that place ive seen the doctor and been advised to take medications and talk to groups but I find it so hard to talk about how I feel that maybe being anonymous would help and maybe if anyone else feels the same to hear how there dealing with things may help. Thanks for reading