Anxiety and lonely.

I've suffered with anxiety and depression since I was 12. I'm now 21 and a first time mum to a six month old. 

I feel so alone. I've got friends who adore my son and friends who have their own babies too. But I'm talking more at home, my partner works a lot but he also still has his own time to himself to do what he likes and all though he's always telling me to go out and have some me time nothing every transpires. I feel like I'm losing my mind with a very needy baby. I do everything, all day, to keep the house nice and entertain the baby. I do absolutely everything for the baby. He's six months old and my partner can't even dress or bath him. I feel like I never get a break and it's making me feel crazy. My anxiety is terrible. im sick of feeling sick all day everyday. I think I'm just looking for mums in the same situiation as me, someone I can talk to without judgements. 

Posts

  • Hi Millie, 

    I too am in a similar situation. I have anxiety and insomnia and feel nobody understands! My little girl is 10 months old and I have suffered from PND for the last 5 months. Some days are harder than others and I think how am I going to get through it but I do and you will too. What triggered it for me is Iv had 3 miscarriages and to discover I was pregnant for the 4th time was overwhelming and I couldn't quite believe it. When my little girl arrived I had all the help in the world, my partner was great and he had 4 weeks off work so I felt like a real family and then when he returned to work it was coming up to December so I was kept busy with Christmas and what not so it didn't really dawn on me how hard I was finding it. However when my little girl was 20 weeks old she got a chest infection and that's when everything changed. I worried I was going to lose my baby girl just like my others and that thought stuck in my head The panic attacks started I couldn't sleep as I would watch her as she slept. In my mind this was completely normal but I mentioned my feelings to my doctor one day on a routine check up (I have many medical issues) and I was diagnosed with PND and anxiety disorder. So for the last 12 weeks I have been seeing a councillor who comes and talks to me about things I can't talk to my partner or family about without being judged. You could have all the people in the world around you but yet still feel lonely and that's not a bad thing. Also admitting it to someone not just yourself does not change you as a person either. Sorry for waffling on but I hope this reassures you that you are not alone and there are loads of women who are suffering in silence I just chose not to be one of those women and I can hold my head up high xx

  • Hi millie hope OK but I've sent you a message x

  • Hi mummy2threeangels 

    I'm so sorry to hear that. I can't imagine how hard that is to go through. I can relate to how you feel about your little girl, my Freddie was 6 weeks early and had breathing problems therefore I watch him like a hawk whenver he's sleeping. I'm a first time mum so I get so much anxiety about everything. But how much anxiety is normal? I keep asking myself am I crazy? 😂 I just feel so alone. My living situation isn't great at the min, I don't live with my baby's father even though we are still in a happy relationship... hopefully that's going to change soon. But I'm left doing everything alone and I'm so exhausted I feel sick. I feel like I need to talk to my dr but it's so hard to find the courage to do so. You should be so proud of yourself for speaking up xx

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